Thanks to the explosion of social networking and texting, the increasing availability of email on our cell phones, it’s never been easier to reconnect with and stay in touch with current and former friends, acquaintances and colleagues. 

There are some people you may not communicate with as often as you used to but when you do, the connection and understanding still there.  You pick up right where you left off.  You’re glad modern technology facilitates bringing them back and keeping them in your life…like the college roommate who recently found me on FB.

However, it’s also easier to communicate only online, and not actually speak to or see friends in person, to get sucked in to whittling away the hours on the FB game of seeing who can be the wittiest when commenting on comments to comments.  To creating the best Tweets.  It’s also far easier to let Internet communication take over when you are out and about.  On the bus, more and more people are typing on their phones than reading or talking.  There are so many outlets you could spend hours each day just keeping up with them or carrying on “conversations” via text or online chats.

How much is too much?  Next time you’re in a restaurant, look around to see how many people are more focused on their phones than their dining companions.  I read an article recently that said some people sleep with their BlackBerries!  Hmmm.  A growing pet peeve is being with someone who simply has to respond to every text that comes in, as though a random text is more important than what you’re doing and where you are right now.  People who have to interrupt a conversation to take any call only to say, “I can’t talk right now,” when letting the call go to voice mail serves the same purpose.  People who try to continue a conversation while they’re checking email or texting.  Do I say something or not?  Should I make a request like they do in theatres to turn off all cell phones and pagers?

On the other hand, as a freelancer, I often get messages or calls from clients and agents that say “respond ASAP.”  These come in any time of day or night.  If I’m at a friend’s watching a movie or we’re out to dinner, do I keep my phone on and pay attention to incoming missives just in case so I don’t lose a job?  When is staying in touch essential or important, or simply impolite? 

What do you think?  There are, of course, many articles on this issue.  Here are just a few:

Traffikd

BusinessWeek.com

PCMech

Some say change is good.  For me, too much is changing too fast.  Just when you think you’ve got a handle on something, poof.  It changes again.  And finding help to adapt can be quite frustrating and time consuming.  My two undergrad and two graduate degrees and general intelligence prove useless against unrefined search engines and insufficiently detailed FAQs.  Worse, you can get different answers to your questions and not be sure which is right.

Examples include:

Health insurance: As if paying $461/month isn’t enough, Aetna now says I’ll have to pay $527 to keep my plan, a 14.3% increase.  The letter says if I switch to a higher deductible, the rates quoted aren’t guaranteed.  But when I called the number listed, I was assured that the letter is merely a template and my new rate is guaranteed, and without reapplying.  Only if I switched to a plan that didn’t exist when I first started with Aetna would I have to reapply.  But when you look at the plan descriptions, I can’t find where it says when the plans began.  Hmmm.  And if/when the Obama plan/public healt insurance comes to fruition, will we be able to understand and use it?

Facebook:  The recent “upgrades” not only annoy me, it seems some of my friends’ updates are displayed randomly instead of all the time.  And how do you get status updates to display as your default instead of the endless news feed? 

The publishing industry: aspiring authors now have a mind-boggling number of venues/options to choose from. Should we pursue the ever-shrinking market of traditional, NY print publishers?  Seek a small press?  Try an e-publisher, and if so, which one…especially when some come and go within months?  Self-publish…through whom?  With the explosion of social media and number of messages competing for our time and mental bandwith, how do you make any book stand out in a crowd?

Technology:  Windows XP on my PC, Vista on my laptop.  Who knows what great features these have I’m not using.  Now there’s Windows 7.  Every time you get a new phone, the learning curve grows.  I was gifted with a nook, and it took 10 minutes to figure out just how to get the thing out of the packaging.  Figuring out non-intuitive features…like the fact that you can’t use your finger on the scroll bar but only on the actual list of options–was frustrating.

Job applications: Changed from mail to online is fine, and saves postage.  But every position, every site requires inputting different information; it’s a lot harder to reuse cover letters or answers.  You don’t even get rejection letters or e-mails anymore. Yesterday I got a text that read like spam about a job I’d applied for, plus for some reason it showed up in a list of unrelated texts.  Apparently it’s from a legitmate applicant vetter, so I’m glad I called. 

Auditioning: Trending toward more online, which is easier.  It saves the time/expense of traveling and can be done at your leisure within a certain time frame, instead of exactly at your appointed 5 or 10 minute time slot.  But it’s impersonal.  There’s no opportunity for building relationships, because you don’t get to meet those doing the casting or chat with your agent.  You don’t get to network with others auditioning.  Nor do you get any feedback or direction on your submission; directing yourself is difficult.

What changes will today bring?

Some articles on dealing with change:

wikiHow

Qualified Life Coach

The Sideroad

How far will you go to help a friend?  Are you so nice you get taken advantage of, or are you too needy/demanding/not nice enough?  Do you offer assistance to make others rely on you or insure you get something in return, or is your help a means for them to grow/make their lives easier?  Are you willing to ask when you need help or do you soldier on alone?

Everyone needs help at some point…whether you’re a mom who hopes your neighbor can watch the kids in a pinch or a single GU whose car is in the shop and needs a ride to get it. 

I tend to prefer being the helper rather than the helpee.  What is the time/effort spent helping someone worth…the satisfaction of being useful?  Being taken to dinner?  Tit for tat?

IMO, it’s best when you can exchange help: you find someone who needs something you really enjoy doing and aren’t only doing because you were asked, and he/she can do the same for you.  But that kind of synergy can be hard to come by.  And sometimes you don’t quite know what you’re getting into when you offer or agree to pitch in.  Then do you back out or follow through? 

Examples:
I agreed to housesit a friend’s adorable and sweet not-yet-housetrained puppy.  At the time, the puppy was going to be an indoor dog, so I wouldn’t have to walk him.  However, he has chosen to be an outdoor dog.  Who wants to go out at least 4 times a day, including 5:30am.  I can’t just open my door to the outside…I have to take him down 5 flights of stairs (he’s too small to do them himself), or walk a fairly long distance to the elevator (hoping he doesn’t leak).  He also whines when he hears me moving around, because he wants to play (and I can’t trust him to roam about and not chew on stuff while I work).  Which makes it hard to concentrate.

I’m going to LA.  My cousin offered to pick me up at the airport.  But for her do to that, then take me to the hotel and return home is more miles and time than I think is fair.  I don’t like to pick up people when they come here or get a ride (unless it’s 4am when there’s no traffic), so why should I have her schlep me around?  Sure, I can take her to dinner/lunch in return, but is that enough reward for all of her time?  We’d definitely have time to catch up, though.

Perhaps the solution is to help as much as you’d feel comfortable asking for.  To know when you need it, and ask in a timely manner.  And when you say you’ll to help, do what you agreed to do.

eHow-How to ask for help

Ask for help

Help for asking for help

When life presents an ethical challenge or choice, how far are you willing to go?

If you’re handed an extra dollar in change, do you give the money back?  Does it depend on when you notice the discrepancy…if you don’t realize you have the extra money until you get home, are you willing to return to the store? What if the amount was $10…or $100?  Do you roll through stop signs if you don’t think anyone is watching?  Speed on the highway if everyone else is to stay with traffic?  Fudge your resume, cheat on a test or your significant other?

Does the reason for violating a rule or law matter?  Is there a difference if you embezzle from your employer because a) your kids need food or b) you think you deserve a diamond ring?  If you intend to pay the money back, does that make it ok?  Or if your chances of getting caught are very slim?

By nature I’m a goody two shoes, a stickler for the rules. Whether I agree with some of them or not, they’re there for a reason…such as maintaining order or sustaining the common good.  But some people believe rules don’t apply to them. 
Going by the book may also go against the grain.  Taking the impact of your actions on others into account isn’t always easy. 

Garrett Hardin’s tragedy of the commons theory resonates with me.  Simply put: if everyone who gets a new a cow puts it in the town pasture to join the cows already there, at some point the munching cows will deplete the grass.  Then all the cows will starve.  

Practically every day you hear or read something about the importance of social networking (SN).  Since many opportunities for the GU come via connections and who you know, effective use of SN is essential.  And supposedly online is now the way to go.

But the proliferation of outlets, each with different (and often, to me, confusing) features…which keep changing, makes it a challenge to learn about and do it.  Follow me here, message me there…you could spend hours each day just maintaining your profiles and statuses, updating contacts and commenting on comments.  Reconnecting and keeping touch with friends via sites like Facebook has been great, but so far I haven’t made any new industry connections or booked any jobs.  Maybe I don’t spend enough time, as Tim Gunn would say, making it work.

I’ve checked out Twitter, but haven’t yet seen the light about why it’s so popular.  So I’m glad that a religous satire show I do some writing and miscellaneous projects for (and wrote a Tweet or two for) with over 3,500 followers and counting has asked me to take charge of responding to its Twitter commenters.  I met with the director to discuss how this might work and took several pages of notes about direct messages, retweets, etc.  Whew.  Next I have to figure out the various apps for monitoring/tracking…and determine how much time this will take.

I’ve seen greater benefit through traditional, in person networking.  The woman I sit next to in choir knows someone I used to work with who now has his own business needing freelance writers.  Thanks to him, I’m meeting with a potential client next week.  Ages ago a writer friend referred me to a consulting company where her brother works that uses actors for role playing/simulation.  I recently booked a week (to portray a major corporation executive) with another penciled in, plus my contact offered to recommend me for freelance writing/editing opportunites in other departments.  I’ve booked several VO jobs thanks to friends’ referrals.  I connected an author friend who wanted to make a rap video for her book Perfect Chemistry (it’s gotten more than 34,000 hits) with a director I’d met on a short film, Stealing Kisses …a part I got in part because a friend cast in one of the main roles recommended me.  She just did her second rap video with him.

How have you made online social networking work for you?

The Gainfully Unemployed (aka self-employed/freelancer) is often a plate spinner, scurrying about to keep multiple projects aloft.  Sometimes knowing which projects to accept or stick with can be a challenge…will the time and effort invested pay off in sufficient cash or other compensation such as networking value, personal satisfaction, beneficial knowledge or useful experience?  If I pass on a project, will I be glad or feel like I missed out?  If I’ve worked with an organization for years, should I continue or move on?

Acting, for example, is one field where many projects don’t pay in money.  The rewards of exposure, experience and working with fabulous people can be worth the time.  On the one hand, I’m rehearsing weekly with a newly formed improv team.  Benefits include working with a coach (with whom, coincidentally, I was on a team at iO many years ago) as opposed to being self-directed.  I’m continuing to learn about and practice the art of improv, laughing a lot, and gaining performance opportunities—our first is already scheduled.  The goal is to get paid down the road. 

On the other, I recently declined to perform in a sketch show.  Though there would have been four performances to invite agents and others to attend and another credit for my resume, the director wanted to hold more than 20 rehearsals in 6 weeks….IMO too much of a time commitment for perceived benefits.  Yet if the show goes well, more performances could be scheduled…should I have stuck with it?

I do some writing and miscellaneous projects for another show.  Most of these can be done on my own time.  Recently I was asked to take on an ongoing social media project.  I’ll be meeting with the director next week to discuss in detail.  Do I spend enough time on this show already, or should I take the opportunity to gain experience in the burgeoning online community which many freelance/part-time jobs I come across now expect applicants to have? 

I performed in an annual musical revue for 20 years.  I looked forward to the two-week daily rehearsal period and hanging out with the cast.  But there came a point when I needed to take paying gigs instead of devoting so many hours to a free production.  A tough choice, but ultimately the right one. 

I’m involved with two associations that require many devoted volunteers to produce programs, activities, publications, etc.  I want to help because they need it and the tasks are usually interesting or fun.  But when I agreed to judge three writing contests recently, I made the mistake of not checking the deadlines…and wound up with 14 entries at once.  Enjoyable, yes.  Helpful to the organizations, yes.  But also a current time suck. 

How do you know when, as they sing about Kansas City in the musical Oklahoma, things have “gone about as fur as they can go?” 

Often when asked to do a voiceover or on camera audition, I get “specs,” or an idea of what the client is looking for.  Obviously the character, the product and the copy itself also influence the read; a Mom in a grocery store, for example, would sound different than a corporate spokesperson. 

Many specs ask that voices be real and conversational…like you’re talking to your best friend.  A recent request was a challenging “approachable and authoritative.” Another wanted a voice that was unpolished and wouldn’t be described as professional. 

Sometimes they name a celebrity that has the tone they’re looking for, other times they send an MP3 sample of a voice they like (which makes me wonder why they don’t just book that person.  Maybe they used her before and want someone new, maybe she’s not available…)  Each VO talent has to decide how much of the referenced name’s or sample’s sound to incorporate into her voice, while also keeping in mind the specific words detailing the nuances of the specs. 

VO teachers and other industry professionals say my natural sound can be too articulate, too professional, too announcery. This can be great for narration, especially when the copy is very technical.  A client said they booked me for a medical narration because I was the only person they heard who could make boring stuff sound interesting.  But sometimes I have to work to sound real.

How do I know if I’m achieving the requested sound, if I’m meeting the client’s needs?  More and more we’re asked to audition from home, without any direction.  So if the job is big enough, I go to a very experienced audio engineer.  He coaches me and offers feedback on various takes until he’s impressed.  Because it’s not what I hear that matters, it’s what the talent buyer hears.

The upsides: I receive direction and production–he has a lot more experience and equipment than I do and also edits the takes–yielding confidence that I’m submitting an amazing audition.  The downsides: travel time to and from his studio, adjusting my schedule to fit his, paying for help when there’s no guarantee of booking the job. 

It’s very interesting to see or hear a commercial I auditioned for but didn’t get.  I try to analyze what they liked about the voice they chose, but I’m not sure I extract any information I can use in the future.

Will two coaching sessions in the past week pay off?  Time will tell…

When I worked in corporate America, I had access to assistance with technology…an IT department and other co-workers to help me figure things out.  Now I’m on my own whenever I get new software or hardware.  Yes, there are plenty of online sites offering video tutorials or FAQs, but they can be frustrating because you can’t ask questions or have someone show you the specific things you want to know.  I guess I’m old school in that I prefer a printed manual to scrolling back and forth onscreen, but at the same time am not willing to use up my toner and paper to print them out.

 I have two graduate and two undergraduate degrees but still find aspects of Facebook, Twitter and iTunes confusing.  Windows 7 is upon us.  Do I really need the upgrade or will I regret the money and time spent?  I’ve used Broderbund Print Shop, which now offers a new version.  I went for the prerelease sale price.  Soon I ‘ll know if it lives up to the hype.  Recently I was prompted to download Internet Explorer 8.  I did, much to my dismay. 

For one thing, to me it’s not intuitive.  What’s all this InPrivate stuff?  Compatibility view?  For another, why do I get a pop up security box when I go to many sites, and why isn’t there an easy option to turn it off? 

Some tout other browsers, such as Safari or Mozilla Firefox.  A friend helped me download that, but I find the interface too busy and don’t see why it’s supposedly better than IE.  Early adapters get excited by each piece of new software/hardware. When the benefits are easy to see and use, I do, too.  I got a new BlackBerry last year.  After investing the time to travel the learning curve, I like many of the new features.  I still prefer the old scroll wheel on the side to the new track ball in the middle.  Is there an easier way to learn more about all of the neat things our technology can do?  Fellow BBers, did you know pressing B takes you to the bottom of whatever you’re viewing and T takes you to the top?

Unfortunately the new thing is not always better than the old…Windows Vista, anyone?  And often it’s better not to run out and buy, say, the first e-book reader on the market…because improvements will soon make that hot off the press thing out of date.  A friend bought me a Nook, which won’t even ship until Februrary because of the demand.  Barnes & Noble has already announced enhancements which better work with the Nook I haven’t even received.  I’m not the only one concerned about new technology being replaced by even newer technology in a heartbeat; yesterday’s The Huffington Post discusses this topic.

I guess I’ll have to make the time to learn about these new IE8 “features.”  Off to find some tutorials.  Sigh.

As previously mentioned, I am usually quite the Scrinch (Scrooge and Grinch) around the holidays….IMO there’s too much fuss and preparation for only a few minutes of eating and unwrapping. 

In addition to posing for hundreds of pictures and signing autographs, activities included: having bunches of kids march with us and help us create new, silly ways to march, serving as an attorney in Bah Humbug Court defending those ticketed by the Winter WonderForce for infractions such as insufficient holiday attire or Scrooge-like behavior, holding imaginary tea parties, telling and acting out stories made up on the spot, collecting high fives and holding dance parties when certain songs played.  Several times we had the honor of escorting Santa Claus around the fest.  Each day brought new opportunities, games to play and ways to make people laugh. 

Note:  If you seek holiday-themed reading, I’ll be posting tomorrow about Christmas traditions in medieval England at http://www.seducedbyhistory.blogspot.com/.

Double casting: two actors play one role. 

The first time I was double cast was in eighth grade…as Oliver in my junior high’s musical, Oliver!  Being very short with short hair, I was chosen to portray a boy.  The other Oliver was an actual boy (whose older brother was single cast as the Artful Dodger).  I’m not sure if the school was trying to give more students the opportunity to participate or thought the role was too large for one student to perform at every performance.  But after all the rehearsals, after learning all of the lines, songs, choreography and blocking, I would have liked do to more performances.

I’m currently double cast as Major Nougat at Navy Pier’s Winter WonderFest.  Think: Disney characters on steroids.  With 11 others (in particular Colonel Caramel), I pose for pictures and sign autographs, but also traverse the 170,000 square feet of the Fest and improv scenes with patrons and other Winter WonderFriends.  We gather in the center and have a dance party whenever a certain Mariah Carey song plays.  We attend sessions of Bah Humbug Court, where we defend patrons who have been ticketed by our holiday cops for infractions like Scrooge-like behavior, beleagured picture-taking, insufficient holiday attire and impersonating Santa.  Yesterday, Holly the Rag Doll tried to avoid her sentence to Jolly Jail and ran out of court, so I had to chase her all over.  Being a ranking officer of the Candy Corps, I also encourage patrons to salute and engage in various marching exercises. 

Happy Holidays!