Many people believe happiness comes from within. Articles advise that if you’re honest and accept yourself, if you make the best out of what you have and do in life, contentment and happiness will be yours.

While I agree that attitude and one’s personal beliefs make a big difference in perceiving happiness, I’m not sure I believe that just putting out positive thoughts will lead the universe to provide amazing things (as, for example, THE SECRET maintains).

My dad believed in the security that money brings. For years and years, he worked long hours and rarely took vacations. When he did, he had a hard time sitting still. Often he was very stressed about running his business.

My grandfather believed in cooking great bar-b-que, making delicious pickled green tomatoes and a good game of canasta or bridge. He worked as a carpet layer, and for a while had a carpet store. Sometimes he’d accept a meal or some other form of barter for his services instead of money. He always seemed to be in a good mood. He was one of the happiest people I’ve known, in the moment and long term.

I wish I took more after him. But as a freelancer, my ‘in the moment’ happiness often comes in the form of auditions and gigs. I know I can’t control how many I’ll get; all I can do is put more irons in the fire. Even if I’ve had a busy week, if the next looks sparsely filled, it’s hard for me to relax, believe more work will follow soon…and delve into other projects.

This week began without a single audition or booking. Instead of satisfaction lingering from a productive last week, which included a booking; an audition; giving a successful, well-attended workshop at a writing conference (attendees approached the day after to say how inspiring/helpful I’d been); a close friend I critique for–who thanks me in all of her books–making the NYT and USA Today best seller lists; getting editor/agent requests for various manuscripts; making progress on a non-fiction project and some fun social events, in my mind it was pretty much done and gone. My ITM happiness increased as each of 3 auditions showed up in my inbox (print, VO and short film). Whew.

I’m still working on increasing my cumulative, internal happiness and being less affected by external things I can’t control. One day at a time.

What makes you happy?

Lo these many years ago, I left my day job in favor of acting and writing (pursuing publication of and completing more manuscripts, and freelance writing/editing) full time.

When I worked nine to five, I faced pressure to increase revenue and meet goals in my several million dollar territory. And I enjoyed perks like 4 weeks of paid vacation, personal days/holidays and a supply of company logo clothing/mugs/pens.

Now I face the pressure of maintaining and growing my incoming revenue stream. I’m often torn between numerous projects, not sure which will result in the biggest payoff. I’d thought I’d write when I wasn’t acting, that freeing up weekdays from nine to five would yield plenty of time for both. But I’ve found that more effort, more hours than I’d like are needed to market both careers and complete incoming obligations.

Have I bitten off more than I can effectively chew? Some days, even when I’ve checked many items off my To Do list, I still think I should get more done. But I choose to go to chorus rehearsal or to social events.

The past few months, I’ve a) had some great acting gigs, in and out of town…most recently 3 days in Las Vegas for ComedySportz b) made progress on two non-fiction projects but have not written many new fiction pages c) not spent much time on proactive submissions d) had assorted life intrusions that took focus.

Lately I’ve been earning more from acting than writing. So I wonder if I should relegate writing to “whenever I can fit it in” status or give it up entirely? If I pursue only acting, will I get enough additional work to justify cutting back on or eliminating writing? Or should I do as I often did while in corporate America: reduce my social life and spend most nights and weekends writing? I love to write, to spend time with fellow writers and learn about the publishing industry. But I love money, too.

Time is money. Often, only time will tell where your time is best spent.

Often it’s a challenge for the Gainfully Unemployed to plan ahead.  I’m reluctant to go out of town because experience has shown I’ll miss out on direct bookings and/or great auditions (because I wouldn’t be available for the audition itself or the day(s) of the shoot/recording).  I never know when the phone might ring with auditions or work, so sometimes I hesitate to take on commitments I may need to reschedule. 

I don’t know when I’ll get paid for jobs I’ve done.  This is because agents usually don’t want to pay their talent until the client pays them…and often the client must first get paid by his client.  I’m still waiting for checks for 2 VO projects from 2009, though supposedly one will be available soon. 

So though I am by nature a planner who prefers things to go as originally scheduled, I’m learning to live one day at a time.  To accept that many decisions take place at the last minute (see last week’s entry, Hurry up and Wait) and adjust accordingly.  To believe that for a day with no auditions or jobs on my calendar, I’ll have some by the time the day arrives or have enough other projects to do….and that most of those will be income producing and not merely enjoyable or productive…such as critiquing for a friend under deadline or assigments I’ve agreed to do for the Chicago Bar Association (like the press release I finished this morning for the CBA Chorus & Symphony’s next concert or the FAQs I’m working on for Romance Writers of America). 

I have to believe that because I’ve chosen to be a freelancer, I can also choose to have the discipline to work a full day each day, and not play hooky because the weather is nice or a friend wants to have a leisurely lunch.  I have to focus on what I’m doing today, and not dwell on negative “what ifs…”  What if the phone doesn’t ring this week?  What if I don’t book any more jobs this month? 

And if there’s a day when the phone doesn’t ring, I can’t let it get to me…but instead work more on marketing myself.  Realizing that there’s often an ebb and flow in this business can be a challenge.  Because as soon as you finish one great gig (like the 3 days I just spent in Las Vegas doing part scripted, part improv corporate shows that were so funny I had a hard time staying in character), it’s difficult to just bask in the glow of the attendees’ many compliments (and a “very, very happy” client) and not wonder when I’ll get the next. 

I’ve often been told life is about the journey and not the outcome…so here’s to enjoying the journey.  One day at a time.

Both the Gainfully Unemployed and Gainfully Employed are often at the behest of others when it comes to getting work done. We set time aside for a particular project, audition or gig, only to have to wait to prepare or do the job until a boss, co-worker, agent or producer provides the information we need to move forward. By the time the materials arrive, we may have to scramble to get the job done right, especially if others are involved and we have to coordinate schedules.

An extreme example: working as an extra for an HBO movie. We’d been told to dress very upscale. The hair and makeup people spent a couple of hours transforming us…my very curly hair had been flatironed smooth (no easy task) and was as glossy and flowy as a Sassoon commercial. Someone came to bring us to set, which was about a block away. He took one look at us, and said, in fact, we were supposed to be very downscale.

Everyone burst into action, opening garment bags and suitcases to see if we’d brought anything appropriate for that look. Most of us hadn’t. The hair person slathered some cream into my freshly done, perfectly beautiful hair to make it look greasy. We literally ran to the wardrobe truck. The wardrobe people glanced at us for size, then grabbed garments and threw to us that. We put them on while we ran to set. Whew.

Recently I did two short videos for a major brand and large ad agency. I received a couple of emails about when I’d get the scripts, but they never arrived. I got them the next morning when I arrived on set. Partly thanks to all of my improv training and partly because I’ve always been a quick study, this wasn’t a problem for me. But I heard the woman who was shooting after me saying she couldn’t learn all the copy in time.

The hurry up and wait process can lead to a lot of stress, especially for those of us who thrive on planning ahead. We get impatient and frustrated when we don’t have what we need to do our jobs, and then pressured to perform without as much preparation as we would have liked.

I’m learning to let this stress go, to calmly accept what I’m given when I get it so I can do my best. To make the most of a schedule that sometimes changes so fast I could get whiplash. But every so often, it would be nice if a project proceeded according to my time frame.

Other takes on this topic:
GenReality  publishing
Steve Raybine music industry

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Because the Gainfully Unemployed must often be proactive to get work, we need frequent inspiration to keep us going. We need new approaches, new projects to create, new sources of motivation.

You can inspire inspiration via quotes/affirmations, books/articles, journaling and following programs such as The Artist’s Way.  Some tie inspiration in with religion, faith, and/or the universe.  Insights can be generated by brainstorming or just talking your thoughts through with a friend who gets you and what you want to accomplish.

Sometimes inspiration comes when you least expect it…whether it’s a line of dialogue, that missing scene, or the seed that sprouts an entirely new project. How many people say they do their best thinking in the shower? I keep a pen and pad of paper in every room; I’ve learned the hard way if I don’t write these flashes of brilliance down, they quite frustratingly disappear into the mist no matter how sure I am I’ll remember.

I woke up at 4:30AM this morning. Worries about when I might get the last form I need to file my income taxes kept me from going back to sleep. Suddenly an idea for a YA popped into my head.  For weeks I’ve been waffling over what genre to write next, unsure if any of the premises I’ve come up with are high concept and/or fresh enough. Stung by recent close but no cigar rejections like “didn’t feel there wasn’t a strong enough hook to market this novel…it was a tough call to make because we really do like your writing.” And even when I’ve honed in on a genre, I go back and forth over tone/style. What I know of the market and recent sales sways me, though I know you’re not supposed to write to trends. This morning’s concept just might be it.

What you do with inspiration is key…do you act upon it or talk yourself out of it? Overthink it to death or let it flow organically?

What inspires you?

For more thoughts:

Wikipedia: Artistic Inspiration

eHow: How to Give Yourself Inspiration

LearnThis: 8 Methods to Find Inspiration

I’m happy to report my busiest month so far since fleeing corporate America at the end of 2005 to be an actress and freelance writer/editor.

This week alone I’ll have seven auditions…all from agents. Two on camera, four VO and one theatre.

There are other ways to get auditions, but agents usually have access to the best gigs. Craigslist lists a variety of auditions, though many are non-paying, such as student films. Occasionally CL has great postings; sometimes I get auditions after submitting my headshot/resume. Other sites such as Performink and CIN list auditions–though many of these are for theatre and improv, which usually don’t pay or don’t pay as much as on camera or VO work. I subscribe to a couple of sites that send a bunch of VO audition opportunities every day. But to get this many auditions from agents in one week is fabulous. And as they say, if you’re not in it, you can’t win it. I hope that being on their radar now means I’ll stay there.

I also booked two jobs this week…a VO narration after an ASAP audition. Also a several day corporate gig for ComedySportz..in Las Vegas! And I’m presenting a voiceover business workshop at Acting Studio Chicago. Last week I had a 20+ minute narration job (that didn’t require a single word of revision!). I did a week of corporate training simulation for a consulting firm and was an extra in ABC’s TV pilot Matadors. Next week, so far, I’m doing a Northwestern Hospital video, via CL I have an audition to host an Internet health series, and I may be an extra in another pilot.

Perhaps the reason for this influx of business doesn’t matter, but I wonder. Is the economy improving? Are some of my many irons in the fire coming to fruition…is persistence finally paying? Does my flexible schedule help because others aren’t available? Or have I been doing good work that kindles more work? And will it continue?

Faithful readers will note this blog entry title is about acting.  I’d hoped to do both writing/editing and acting.  At the moment my various manuscripts are still incurring rejections, and the only writing I’m doing is for the religous parody Best Church of God.  Of late, however, I haven’t spent as much time pursuing opportunities/working on new projects/submitting. 

Even the Gainfully Unemployed need a some down time…  Stay tuned.

I’ve worked as an extra on more than 60 movies/TV shows.  There.  I’ve publicly admitted it, despite hearing that many agents/casting directors don’t consider extra work worthy of inclusion on resumes. 

But if I don’t have an audition or booking, isn’t it better for my acting career to be on a set, watching both household name (incl. Dustin Hoffman, Will Farrell & Vince Vaughn) and up and coming actors at their craft than to work a part time day job?  Won’t I learn more listening to famous, top notch directors (incl. Clint Eastwood and Sam Raimi)?  There is also the very slim chance of being “updgraded” and given a line or a bit to do. 

I view extra work this way:  I’m getting paid (not very much, granted) to attend master classes on acting/directing.  How else would you get to sit mere feet from Johnny Depp and hear him working with Michael Mann?

That being said, extras are sometimes treated like cattle, even when filming smaller scenes.  Once we were asked to turn our chairs around and face the wall because the crew was eating.  Other times, holding area conditions have been less than optimal.  Outdoor scenes during Chicago winters can be grueling.  Well, extras are people, too.

So I propose the following Extras Bill of Rights:

1) Holding areas will have sufficient lighting and heat/air conditioning.  And garbage cans and toilet paper.

2) Water, coffee and some snacks will be available at all times.

3) In cold/hot weather, extras will have breaks to warm up/cool off.

Comments?

We have become a nation of multitaskers. From e-communicating with one friend while talking to another to doing dishes while on the phone to working on several projects at once while keeping up with e-mail, most of us probably spend a good portion of our day doing more than one thing at a time.

Multitasking may feel efficient and productive on the one hand, but can lead to stress and frustration on the other. If our focus is scattered, if we’re worrying about what we’re supposed to do instead of what we are actually doing, it can be a challenge to complete our best, thorough work.

I’m finalizing a VO proposal for a four-part project for a returning client, editing a satirical sermon for the Best Church of God, making progress on a co-authored non-fiction project, preparing for a huge audition and dealing with a short deadline family matter entailing far too many forms and details. I’ve set a goal to get out more writing submissions and work on a new manuscript. Throw in a couple of rehearsals, workshops, some social events and miscellaneous appointments…

Trying to do everything in a timely manner had me reading e-mails while getting my hair cut. I like to a) get things off my plate and b) respond to others as soon as possible. I realize that a half hour delay doesn’t always matter. So perhaps I should have relaxed and enjoyed my salon time instead of fretting about all the signatures, documents and answers I needed to provide.

Recently I attended two meditation sessions, including a lecture and discussion, to clear my mind and reduce stress. To get better at living in the moment, being present where I am. I’d tried on my own, but got frustrated when I couldn’t stop thinking.

The group environment helped me to settle in and focus on my breathing. Each time, I was surprised that for a few minutes my mind went somewhere…not quite sure where, but relaxing nonetheless. Hearing others share similar life frustrations was reassuring. Unfortunately, the calming effect of the meditation didn’t last long.  I plan to set aside a few minutes each day to see if I can sit on my own and focus on one thing at a time.

….another opens, as they say.  That closed door could also yield a nice surprise by reopening when you least expect it.  Or it could remain closed, which can either be disappointing or result in a “oh, well, there are many more fish in the sea” attitude.

Most Gainfully Unemployed are constantly knocking on doors…to develop new contacts and expand our networks, to further, maintain and/or renew friendships/relationships.  Because we never know where that next opportunity will come from. 

The great gig I have this week (with at least one more week upcoming) role playing a high level executive (complete with an office that has a view of the lake & Navy Pier) came via a writer friend who used to work at the company.  Way back in June 2006, she suggested I send in my resume, etc.  My improv experience combined with years of award-winning corporate sales, marketing and training made me a perfect fit (IMHO, at least!).  The contact e-mailed a nice reply and left the door open, but nothing came of it.  I don’t know if diligent follow up would have helped or not.  More than a year later, my friend suggested I resubmit to a new contact.  I did…but again, nothing.  Then out of the blue, a different person called me in for a meeting and hired me on the spot. 

Three and a half years is a long time for something I’m interested in to come to fruition, which is why I need to have so many irons in the fire.  We can’t control who comes in and out of our lives or when, or the roles they’ll play (as they say, we can only control our attitude…).  For example, the aforementioned friend had moved away, but we’ve recently reconnected via Facebook.  

When motivated, I’m applying, submitting, querying, auditioning, reminding people what I’m looking for, figuring out if there are any connections/assistance I can offer in return.  Coming across a bunch of naysayers or lack of responses in a row can lead to a period of unmotivation, where I think, “why bother?”  On the other hand, everyone needs some downtime, which for me often leads to a resurgence of output.  And, I hope, many more open doors.