• Home
  • Books
  • About
  • News
  • Workshops
  • Extras
  • Contact
  • Blog

Ruth Kaufman - Award-Winning Author and Romance Writer

Ruth Kaufman is the author of My Life as a Star, My Life as an Extra, My Once & Future Love, The Bride Tournament, Follow Your Heart, At His Command and other books.

Will you work for food? For free?

December 17, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

Oprah is filming a pilot here in Chicago for her new OWN network.  I’ve been contacted by a friend who will be an extra who suggested I join him and another friend. 

Apparently extras can now recruit other extras, avoiding the need for a casting director or even knowledge of who/how many will show up at the appointed times and locations.  And apparently there’s no pay, just meals.  It seems O/her production company are banking on the fact that people are so eager to say they’re involved with her in any way they will work for free.  So they can earn bragging rights instead of cash.   

What precedent does not paying extras set?  If someone at Oprah’s level expects freebies, will other TV shows and feature films stop paying us? 

I’ve worked as an extra on dozens of productions and expect to make $65 or $75 for 8 hours plus time and a half overtime, usually excellent meals (and parking).  Many think even that is insufficient recompense for the effort required.  Insufficient pay to endure long hours (usually at least 12) and occasionally unpleasant physical conditions…cramped holding areas, not enough restrooms, standing outside for hours in extreme cold or heat, walking long distances from parking to holding carrying the requisite changes of clothes, days where we aren’t even given coffee and donuts or water while the (union) crew is constantly provided all sorts of tempting fare, and often right under our noses.  I choose to look at it this way:  I’m getting paid to observe famous stars/directors up close and in action, or to read/talk on the phone/email/hang out with fun people when I’m not in the scene.  

Being an extra isn’t brain surgery, for sure.  Nor it it as difficult as being the star.  But it does require some skill…even an extra can screw up a shot by walking too slow or fast and running into the star, or by overreacting or looking at the camera.  For scenes shooting multiple days, you need reliable people for continuity. 

Certainly there can be reasons to work for no money.  If you don’t have any acting experience whatsoever, student films, for example, can be one way to get some.  They can be a way to learn what it’s like to be on set and take direction.  However, it’s my understanding that these films and extra work even on a major motion picture aren’t really considered acting credits by agents or those who hire talent for pay.  Better than nothing, perhaps, but not as good as other things.

For example, many non-Equity theatres in Chicago don’t pay their actors, but offer a wealth of experience and the opportunity to be seen.  This “free” acting can count as credits; I’ve often heard agents like to know their talent also does theatre/improv and some will go see the shows.  And in the corporate world, many companies offer internships (often for college credit, which is a form of compensation) to help those just starting out get their feet in the door. 

Some free work assignments can be worth it in pursuit of a goal: a viable credit, networking and/or experience that should pay off in the future.  If you think being an unpaid extra will provide sufficient benefits, have at it.  But if you think you deserve compensation for your time, if you believe the old adage ‘they won’t buy the cow if they get the milk for free,’ stay home. 

Comments?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Spontaneity

December 10, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

While some people enjoy living whichever way the wind blows, I am not by nature a spontaneous person.  I like lists, plans, and schedules because they provide a sense of control.  I know what’s coming next and what I need to do.

So the freelance/Gainfully Unemployed lifestyle, in which plans often change at the drop of a hat, can present  challenges.  I’m flexible in some ways (I can do the splits), but not so much in others.  Examples: A friend who’s having trouble meeting her deadline needs my help with plotting or just wants to vent.  Another whose schedule is as varied as mine wants to get together at the drop of a hat.  Do I drop whatever I’m doing to accommodate these requests?  If I’m on my way to an audition or a job, obviously the answer is no.  But what if I’m working on projects I want to complete on self-imposed deadlines?  Is getting my work done as planned more important? 

When I am spontaneous, I often feel disrupted instead of easily embracing sudden changes.  Though I like keeping to my timetables, it’s hard to say no to social opportunities or when friends want my help.  I prefer to work before play, but know I’ll still get my work done in a timely fashion. 

Then there’s the randomness of auditions and potential recording dates.  Example: an agent called after 5pm to schedule an audition for 10:30 the next morning, with lines to memorize.  I had plans that night that would keep me out fairly late, and already had three major events on tap for the next day.  Not only that, I was already booked one of the days of the shoot.  But I didn’t want to say no to the agent or miss the opportunity to go to the casting agency and meet a potential new client.  So I had to scramble to adjust my schedule (requiring the assistance of others to change their schedules) and make the time to learn the lines (fortunately not that many)…all without knowing, of course, if I’d book this job. 

There’s a continuum of spontenaeity in various types of acting. One of the reasons I enjoy being in plays/musicals is because I know exactly what to do and say next. I’ve rehearsed and been given direction. I usually know everyone else’s lines by opening night, so it’s easy for me to compensate if someone drops a line or misses an entrance. Voiceover jobs are nice because the copy is right in front of you,  Even if there are script changes, you can write them down.

On camera work can be more difficult. You’ve memorized your lines, but someone wants a script change. Remembering the new line(s) on the spot after you’ve already engraved the old ones in your memory is tricky.  And when they change the changes…it can be hard to keep track of what is old and new.

More challenging still (though also at times more freeing) is improv, where every word you say, every gesture you make, is spontaneous.  You can’t plan ahead, because you don’t know what your scene partner(s) will do or say next.  If you try to think of something funny to say/do, you won’t be in the moment and won’t be able to listen and react to what is going on.  Usually when doing improv, you’re involved in some scenes, but not all.  So even during a show, you have a little time to regroup.  But my current job is all improv all the time (except during breaks, of course), with anywhere from one scene partner to twelve and an ever-changing number of patrons joining in.  It’s both exhilerating and a bit unnerving to have a job requiring so many hours of  being “on” and in character.

First 2010 resolution: learn to adapt more easily to small and large changes in plans.  Some suggestions on how to do that:

eHow  Spend thirty minutes with a child.  These days, I often spend more than that!  And it is surprising and fun to see how willing and eager most are to join in the activities my partner and I come up with, from creating new ways to march to doing the Snowflake Dance. 

LifeDev  Pencil it in.  Oooh.  Scheduling spontaneity?  That I can do!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Life is a Roller Coaster

December 3, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

I’ve never been a fan of roller coasters–waiting in a long line just to have suspense build while you fear you’ll slide back down the huge incline only to plummet and race through hills and valleys you can’t control, clinging to the guard rail for dear life resulting in whiplash (emotional and physical) with only a few flat stretches to give you time to catch your breath. 

But sometimes life is like a roller coaster.  Though they say without sadness we wouldn’t know what happiness is and even keel existence might get boring, dealing with huge ups and downs, especially when one follows on the heels of another, can be disconcerting and challenging. 

Small ups and downs are one thing.  Say I’m looking forward to an on camera audition, then the agent e-mails that it’s been canceled.  A lost opportunity to have agent face time and be seen by a client, sure, but it’s easy to believe another will soon follow.  Or I’m told I’m one of the few voices being considered for a big narration project, then I learn the client has gone in another direction.  Disappointing, but the producer says he’ll keep me in mind for future projects.  I can believe I’ll book another job soon. 

Then there are the big swings.  One minute I get a request for a full manuscript and am basking in the good news glow.  An editor enjoyed my writing and story enough to want to want to read more.  The next I learn of a betrayal.  Though the two events are completely unrelated, emotions can get muddled.  Dealing with bad news on the heels of good can throw you off kilter.  It’s hard to maintain hope and excitement and have a positive attitude about the first while trying to take the second in stride.  It’s hard to focus on reviewing the rest of the manuscript before submitting and meet other deadlines when trust has been broken. 

There are times when the ability to compartmentalize emotions and/or not be affected by external events might prove helpful.  What does help is to remind myself of all of the things I’m grateful for. 

How do you deal with bad news?  Here are a few articles:

eHow  Consider the worst case scenario, and develop a plan of action to deal with it.

beyond the rhetoric  Reinterpret it.  Frame obstacles as opportunities.

When someone you know gets bad news:

Family Education  …offer your sympathy and—if appropriate— your help. It is less than useless to act as if nothing has happened.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Beyond Compare

November 26, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

Do you find yourself comparing your successes or lack thereof to those of other people?  Whether you’re an executive wondering why the co-worker in the next cube got the promotion instead of you, a mom who wishes her kids would be as well-behaved as her neighbor’s, anyone wondering if he’s keeping up with the Joneses, or a Gainfully Unemployed who wants to know how Actor A books so many jobs or Author A sells so many books but you don’t, appreciating and valuing your own accomplishments can be a challenge.  Even on Thanksgiving.

When I read about another author’s sales, it’s hard not to wonder when I’ll see my name in Publisher’s Lunch.  Especially when it’s someone I know or finaled in a contest with.  I’m happy for them on the one hand, but on the other wish my turn would come.  It doesn’t help when a multi-published, award-winning author I critique for calls to say what I gift I have for making her books so much better and that she can’t understand why I still haven’t sold. (One of my mss is with one of her editors on her recommendation, fingers crossed.) When I hear how many acting jobs a friend has gotten recently, it’s hard not to compare her list against mine and wonder how I can get more work.  Or when, as has happened quite often recently, I see people I once performed with on national TV or Broadway, it can be a challenge not to ask, “Why them?”  To not worry about what else I should be doing, or doing differently.

Comparing yourself to others minimizes your accomplishments.  It can make you feel defeated. You might stop believing in yourself and give up, especially without any external validation. One reason I enter writing contests is because finalling provides a shot in the arm to help me keep going. The weeks between the announcement of the finalists and the winners provide lots of time to share the good news. It’s rewarding to know more than one judge liked your entry and that an industry professional will soon be reading it for the final round and may ask to see more.

Christina Dodd gave a speech at a Romance Writers of America conference about how each author’s path to publication was different.  Some might be short (ie you sell your first ms to the first editor you send it to.  I know a couple of people who managed this.) while others will be long and rocky (you complete many mss and have hundreds of rejections to your name.  Sound familiar?).  Others will sell one book or a few, then have trouble selling more.  The question is: do you have the stamina to keep walking?

Can you focus on gratitude for your accomplishments?

Articles about ways to stop comparing yourself to others:

ResultsJunkies

Adversity University

Zen Habits

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Happy Holidays?

November 19, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

I’ve written before about being a Grinch at this time of year…to me there’s far too much fuss made over the holidays.  Stores go straight from touting Halloween candy and costumes to pushing Christmas decorations, cards and gifts.  By mid-November, lights and decorations are already on display in many places.  You can’t pick up a paper, turn on the TV or go online without being bombarded by holiday ads, articles or programming.  What is the purpose of so many people spending so much time planning, shopping, preparing for and then cleaning up after holiday meals…do we really enjoy all the hustle and bustle or feel obligated to participate?

Holiday preparation adds myriad errands and time-sucking tasks to to do lists that are already a mile long.  How do friends who are already overburdened running around on their kids’ behalf and who rarely seem to have a moment to themselves fit in even more?  The effects of our recession-burdened economy may add additional pressure to those who can’t afford to givethe amount or kind of presents bestowed in years past. 

It’s not that I’m not looking forward to or don’t enjoy attending holiday parties–as long as I don’t have to host them.  It’s the cramming of so many social events into a few weeks, plus the crowds in stores and all the hype and, unless you never leave your house or expose yourself to any media, the constant displays of Christmas-y stuff.  

Not only that, this season can be tough on the Gainfully Unemployed.  Business in the acting and publishing worlds grinds to a halt.  Which means hardly any auditions or jobs, and very little chance of long-outstanding submissions being read.  Full-time employees bask in the joy of paid days off, but
the GU know holidays just mean the phone won’t ring.  When you don’t know where or when your next paycheck is coming from, it can be hard to relax.  

So what do you like about the holidays?  What do they mean to you?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Change, Change, Change…

November 12, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

Technology advances mean the world is changing at an ever-increasing pace.  Five years ago, who’d have thought social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter, having an online presence via a Web site and blog would be so important to so many, suck up so much  time and be in the news so often?  Who’d have thought many would send thousands of texts a month, text instead of talking, and that we’d go to a restaurant and see more people focusing on their phones than on their friends?

Newspapers and magazines are disappearing from our front doors and mailboxes and landing on our PC screens.  E-readers like the Kindle, combined with the closing of so many brick and mortar book stores and decreased shelf space for books in other stores that now host cafes and have broadened their product offerings, make it more challenging to wander into a store and discover a new author.

Somehow we survived in the days before answering machines, much less cell phones that we put on the table when we’re having lunch lest we miss something.  The rapid pace of digital technology enhancements requires many of us to adapt, willingly or not… or miss out on opportunities.

The pace of the acting industry seems to be ever faster.  A couple of weeks ago I turned off my phone for an hour and fifteen minutes…and lost a booking.  This week I was sent an audition that had to be recorded at home and submitted ASAP.  I’ve booked several rush jobs recently…a call at 5:30 pm for a job the next morning, a call at 12:20 pm for a job at 9 that night.  Yes, the clients had chosen my voice for their projects.  But given the short turnaround time, who knows what might have happened if I wasn’t immediately available to accept the work.

And developments in the writing world, such as Harlequin’s newly announced e-publishing division, Carina Press, raise myriad questions about the future of publishing, book pricing and author compensation. 

I have not yet broached e-reading beyond downloading a couple of books.  To me reading online– when I spend so many hours on the computer already–isn’t as enjoyable as holding a book in my hands.  I only like shopping online for books when I know what I’m looking for; all the scrolling makes me dizzy.  I don’t have the patience to “look inside” a bunch of books online the way I’ve done in a store. 

How are you embracing change? 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

November 5, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

A few months ago I discussed various types of lies and wondered whether you can or should trust a liar again, here. Given the recent movie release, The Invention of Lying and the FOX TV show Lie to Me, many others are also considering the impact of lies and dealing with liars.

The proof is in the pudding. And my answer is no. Recent evidence shows that where there’s one lie, there are very likely more, either already articulated or yet to come. Kind of like cockroaches. At least the nasty insects scatter and hide when you shine light on them…but you know they’re there, multiplying and waiting ‘til the time is right to come out again. Lies are like termites, because by the time you discover how far they go, the damage is done.

Whether the liar is a client who promises to pay but doesn’t, a cheating significant other, someone you hired who pads his bill or doesn’t do what he was paid to do, a post on Craiglist you think is legitimate but leads you to some scam, or a friend or family member whose mendacity makes your life more difficult, how do you handle it once the dam has been broken, once your trust has been breached? Maybe you think that person is dead to you and never speak to him again. Maybe you think, “He says he’s really sorry. I’ll give him another chance.” Good luck. That saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,” exists for a reason.

If you’ve been lied to, how do you trust again: 1) others, because surely everyone you meet isn’t a liar 2) yourself and your decision making ability? If you choose to keep the liar in your life, how do you relax day to day and not worry that everything that person tells you is a lie?

This brings to mind the old ad campaign, “Do you know where your package is?” The answer is: you don’t, unless you can be with it and keep your eye on it 24/7.

Several articles about liars and dealing with them:

Newsweek.com: Liars get what they want. They avoid punishment, and they win others’ affection.

Suite101.com: Calmly state what you know to be true.

wikiHow: To protect your own sanity, seek help.

eHow: Disassociate yourself from that person before you get hurt.

Personal Web Guide: Be careful who you let your guard down with.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Darkest Before the Dawn?

October 29, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

When many things seem to go wrong at once, it can be even harder to maintain a positive attitude and believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel. It’s frustrating when you put dozens of irons in the fire but get little or no response. Sometimes even a rejection is better than the feeling that your audition/submission/application is floating in the ether of the Internet. The many things we can’t control, the waiting for others to offer auditions/work, etc. can be stressful. So evidence that the tide is turning brings relief and satisfaction. And creates synergy.

Acting: Quite the flurry of activity. One agent called with a direct VO booking (without an audition) that day. Another called to put me on ice for a job. And another called with another direct booking. However, I happened to be without my phone for 1 hour and 15 minutes, so she booked someone else. Sigh.

Though I missed out on that and even if I don’t get the other, it’s great to know more than one client at more than one agency is interested in hiring me. Plus the more you’re on your agents’ radar, the better. And I got a callback (the call came after 10PM, another example of why I should always have my phone) for more than 5 weeks of paid improv.

I also learned that I know a couple of the auditors of an upcoming audition. This business, like many others, can be a lot about who you’ve worked with before and who you know. I hope being among friends will help me stay in the moment (not in my head) and audition well.

Writing: The recent request to revise one of my paranormals shows that my writing and ideas are good enough to interest an editor enough to take time out of her day to call, email and be willing to work with me. I needed that shot in the arm.

The sermon, opening and benediction for the Best Church of God (discussed last week) got some good laughs. Which encourages me to do more comedy writing.

I’ve been helping a multi-published friend fix her overdue book. She’s using many of my suggestions, which reinforces that I know what I’m doing.

Other: Will be spending more time with a valued friend. Many fun social events on the calendar. I’m also redoing The Artist’s Way. Maybe that’s the catalyst for all of this forward motion?

I’m very grateful to be busy, get work and have things to look forward to. What developments are you grateful for?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Writing for Whom You Know, Not What You Know

October 22, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

When you decide to be a writer, you need to choose what to write, what market you’re aiming for and who the readers will be. Within each type of writing lies a myriad of elements to consider and balance. Then your work needs to captivate an industry professional. Is it easier when you know who that person is? Two recent experiences prove the answer is yes and no.

1) Writing for a particular director and performer. I’ve been doing the weekly Missalette (program) and short marketing pieces for The Best Church of God, a parody church service currently at Chicago’s Lakeshore Theater.

An idea for a sermon popped into my head. Having seen the show many times, I was very familiar with the style, format and subjects previously covered. I also knew that since BCOG believes in the literal word of the Bible as set down in the original English, I’d need a good sprinkling of Bible quotes to support my argument. I’d worked with the director for weeks on the program and a couple of other projects, so I had an idea of his likes/dislikes. And I’ve known the performer who’d be doing said sermon for years , and could hear his character in my head as I wrote.

This was both freeing and limiting at the same time. With each sentence I thought was funny, I’d get pulled out of “the zone” of writing by questions like, “Would the director even like the idea? Would he agree that this joke was funny? Would he take a submission from someone involved in the show but not in the ensemble?” “Would Pastor Dave convey the idea with different words?” These thoughts can halt the flow of creativity. Give you writer’s block so it takes longer than it should to complete the project.

On the other hand, if I strayed too far afield, I could reign myself back in, knowing the situation so well. I could refer to past sermons for inspiration.

Fingers crossed, I sent off a draft. The director liked it…and said he could hear Pastor Dave giving the sermon. Whew. He asked for some revisions, and said I also had to write the service opening and benediction. Interesting to see which jokes he kept, which he slashed (one in particular I thought was LOL, sigh), and which he punched up. We’ll soon see if the audience/parishioners appreciate it: why the Bible says moving corpses and desecrating graves (as in the recent Burr Oaks cemetery scandal and Mayor Daley’s wanting to move another cemetery for an O’Hare runway) is the Christian thing to do.

2) Meeting the needs of a particular editor I’d submitted my paranormal with time travel romance to.

After reading the synopsis and first 20 pages, she called to tell me she was very interested in the premise, some things she thought were clever, and the hero. But the heroine was boring as was the world building. And she wanted me to change from alternating 1st person POV to 3rd. If I’d do these things, she’d take another look.

Exciting yet troublesome at the same time. I’d heard her speak, and had had an eight minute appointment with her and now this conversation, and read books from her line, so I had some info to rely on.

I’d purposely written it so the reader would learn along about the paranormal hero as the heroine did, so most comes later. And after all, you have to introduce the characters, their attraction, and the plot, goal motivation and conflict and don’t want to have what’s known as an “information dump.” But the editor wants to be swept away by his world right away. Easier if the story starts in his paranormal environment, harder when it starts in her normal one. I’m trying a couple of approaches…we shall see.

The point is that many auteurs might just want to create and think about potential buyers and markets and where their work will fit in after their opus is finished. They might be offended by blunt criticism of their long labored over creative output, even if it comes from those who can publish them. But I believe the more you know beforehand, the better, despite the constrictions placed on creative freedom.

The time and energy invested in gaining knowledge will pay off.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

October 15, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

Now that Bobby McFerrin song is playing in my mind…and I’ll bet yours, too!

Many of us have a lot to worry about these days. Things like supporting our families in this economy while managing to save for the future, how the kids are doing in school and whether to get an H1N1 flu shot. Things like whether family member X will get on your nerves today or you’ll get stuck in traffic. And if you’ll get everything done on that ‘to do’ list.

In the face of decreasing home values, fears of more layoffs/not finding another job if you’ve been laid off (or for the GU, always waiting for that phone to ring and keep ringing so we know our irons in the fire are paying off), health concerns, etc., how do we go about enjoying and making the most of each day? How do we maintain a positive attitude and keep smiling in the face of the disappointments, frustrations and worries large and small that pepper our lives? Just for today, can we reduce the power our concerns can have over us and allow some happiness in?

Approaches for dealing with worry include:

–Be grateful for what you do have. Sometimes when things are looking pretty grim, or when a bunch of things go wrong in a row, it’s hard to remember that there are good or great things to appreciate.
Consider listing things you are grateful for each day and keeping a gratitude journal, as described here . I’ll start: today I’m grateful for supportive and caring friends, that I have a great place to live and for the tasty leftovers in my fridge so I don’t have to think about what to have for dinner.
Other takes on the importance of gratitude can be found here and here.

–Believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don’t. It’s hard to accept there’s some lesson you’re supposed to learn when something doesn’t go the way you wanted. Or believe that a disappointment/rejection/failure/mistake can and will lead to something better. Here and here (a for and against debate) is info on this approach.

–Never give up hope. Often easier said than done…

–Let go of things you can’t control and move on. I’m working on this. Info here and here.

Which works best for you?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Recent Posts

  • Comparison of my novel MY LIFE AS AN EXTRA to the BBC/HBO sitcom EXTRAS by Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant
  • How long should it take to get an answer from health insurance customer service?
  • What is writing success?
  • Authors in Bloom Blog Hop 2018-Healthy Instant Pot Recipe!
  • Check avail…the suspense is killing me!

Ruth’s Posts on Other Sites

Stay tuned for my list of guest blog posts I’ve written, articles, and interviews.

Categories

Archives

Privacy Policy