Our society sets us up to demarcate our lives by years…just because the calendar turns from December 31st to January 1. You can try to avoid the hooplah, but it isn’t easy.

Newspapers and websites spend the last days of December recapping highlights of the year. Everyone wants to know what you’re doing New Year’s Eve (I enjoyed a delicious home cooked dinner and watched film noir classics with a friend, thank you very much). Parties abound, restaurants have special seatings, theatres/concert venues provide toasts. We’re supposed to watch the countdown and celebrate precisely at midnight with champagne and/or noisemakers and shiny hats, and probably by kissing whoever happens to be nearby. By singing “Auld Lang Syne.”

But it’s what we do with the new year that matters. Certainly there are things we can’t control, like the state of the economy or the price of gas, but there are many ways we can take charge of our own lives…if we have the self-discipline and motivation. A lot of people make resolutions, but don’t follow through.

January is a good time to assess our accomplishments–or lack thereof–and make meaningful changes. I like to start the year out fresh by cleaning out and organizing file cabinets and closets. I make a list of projects to complete in the coming year, major and minor (checking off completed items is very satisfying!).

Did I do everything on last year’s list? No. But compiling and referring to the list helps me assess priorities and helps me have a road map to my goals. By jotting down everything I want to do, I clear my head for creative thinking. If I’m working on something but run out of steam, I can check the list and move on to another task without wasting time.

If you haven’t been a “list person” or goal setter, or have trouble sticking to your resolutions, here are a few sites to try:

Author and friend Gerri Russell has a timely post HERE.

Make a life list

Make your goals happen

Will 2009 be a Happy New Year? It’s up to you.

Every year, most of us get asked, “What do you want for Christmas (or Hanukkah)?” This is to insure that the gift is appreciated and not reviled, like a fruitcake would probably be by most recipients. It’s also to save the giver time and energy trying to figure out what you’d like. That’s why Amazon and other sites let people create wishlists.

But sometimes the annual question can be a challenge to answer. Especially this year, when we keep reading about layoffs, foreclosures and how many people can’t even afford to put food on the table. Saying, “I’d like some fleece pajamas,” when I already have several pair or, “How about a sweater,” when I have a shelf full, seems greedy. I am fortunate not to need stuff, yet I still enjoy giving and receiving gifts. Who doesn’t like the anticipation of holding a wrapped package someone chose for you? Tearing off the paper (or carefully pulling off tape so you can reuse and be green)?

However, most of the things I truly want can’t be bought. The main thing I want right now is to stop worrying. To not wake up in the middle of the night ruminating about the economy and when and if it will improve. Wondering what impact the downturn will have on my condo, my voiceover business, whether or not I’ll sell a book(s). I try to turn off those nagging thoughts and go back to sleep, but it seems that once I get started down the worry path, my concerns feed upon themselves.

I keep reading about living mindfully, which means focusing on what you are doing in this moment…noticing details about each action you take, the sounds you hear, and things you touch. Doing this is supposed to not only help reduce stress but make you healthier.

That is the gift I am going to give myself this year. I’m going to devote time and energy to this pursuit, and hope I can incorporate some strategies and revel in the benefits.

Here are just a few sites on the topic:

http://www.mindfullivingtv.com/index.asp
http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/
http://www.mindfulness.com/

What are you giving yourself?

Happy Holidays!

What can you do that others can’t? My special skill is fast talking. Some people open their mouths and beautiful singing comes out. I open mine and words pour out at an amazing, yet understandable, speed.

How do you make the most of your special skill? Is it just for fun, or can you make some money with it?

More than 15 years ago, I was on America’s Funniest People. They were at Planter’s ‘Americas Funniest Nut’ auditions. I’d put together a high speed history of the peanut. While many auditionees couldn’t take the peanuts out of their auditions (they were dressed as peanuts, etc), I could talk fast about anything. So they videotaped me. The head writer of an original musical revue I’d been in for several years happened to see the program, and started having me do a short fast talking skit in the show. Over the years I did a high speed traffic report, voice messaging system, summation of the millenium, in the Gore-Bush election a review of hanging chad developments (challenging, because my lines changed every day) and in 2007 asked presidential candidates how they could help the US (including a line about what they’d do if the country plunged into a depression. Hmmm.)

Many times during an audition, a casting person reads the special skills section of my resume and asks me to do a sample fast talk. It still surprises me that people are so entertained, but they always laugh out loud and ask how I learned to do it, saying, “You should do legal tags,” or something similar. I even auditioned for Joe Sedelmaier, the director of that famous Federal Express spot with the fast-talking guy. He said I was great but he didn’t need any more fast talkers.

I have had other non-paying fast talker roles. When I played one of Will’s six single sisters in The Will Roger Follies, the director asked me to summarize the first act after intermission. I had a small speaking part in a short, sweet film featured on Chicago’s public TV station’s progam Image Union . I’m about 1 min 15 seconds in HERE, and also about 2 minutes and 10seconds in HERE. (Reality TV fans will note that the kissee after me is Ambre Lake, from Rock of Love.)

Despite getting a lot of mileage out of and having a lot of fun with this special skill, impressing many and making audiences of up to a thousand people to
applaud (often a laugh and two rounds of applause in 45 seconds!), I hadn’t earned a penny with my fast talking. Until this week.

One of the voiceover directory sites I’m on had a audition for a speed talker. I read the sample script and included my fast talking voiceover demo. And they hired me! So you never know when continuing to do what you enjoy and are good at will pay off financially.

Freelancers often have to choose between many opportunities…some presented to them, others they’d like to pursue. It’s exciting to have a variety of options, but when none of them are sure things in terms of producing income, what’s the best way to prioritize?

I could work 12 hours a day and still not complete all of the projects on my current list. Examples include: a former co-worker has expressed interest in having me turn a screenplay into a novel. For weeks, I’ve been spending a lot of hours on a huge, paying VO project (yea!), so I haven’t made time to market my voiceover services to production companies or finish final revisions on my latest complete so I can send it out. A friend who has been adding humor to the beginning of another manuscript at the request of an agent will soon return the pages, and I’ll need to review those in a timely manner. (I’ll save the discussion of “what is funny?” for another day.)

Now the flurry of holiday activities has begun. For example, I spent a lot of time last week rehearsing for and singing in at Navy Pier’s Winter Wonderfest, but passed on rehearsing last night and singing again today.

As a person who thrives on productivity, I’m annoyed when I hear that nothing happens in the publishing and acting industries in December. If I submit or contact potential clients, will my efforts fall on uninterested eyes and ears, or will my stuff at least be higher in the pile on their desks when they get around to it in January? Should I push on with my projects or take off like so many other people do? Do I just write off the remaining days of 2008and focus on having fun, or press on and try to accomplish some things amidst the revelry?

I’d feel too guilty doing nothing but holiday activities. So for today, I’ll press on.

For the first time since fleeing corporate America to be Gainfully Unemployed, I went on vacation…to San Juan, Puerto Rico!

Here’s the view from my hotel room in Isla Verde:

The many benefits of taking a vacation include:

1) R&R. Slowing down the pace of everyday living, letting some stress go, by reading under a cabana by a beautifully landscaped pool (and sipping the occasional frozen drink). Walking on the beach through the surf in the morning and at night. Not being on a schedule…no “I shoulds” or “I have tos.” Turning your (carefully sunscreened with a high SPF) face up to the sun in a cloudless blue sky.

2) Expanding your horizons. Learning about our world is fascinating, but most of us don’t make the time. Do YOU know where Puerto Rico is? I am admittedly geographically challenged. Until I decided to go to PR, I only knew it was south of Florida, but not its actual location (south east of Cuba, about a 4 1/2hour flight) or its place in US history. More on that next week.

3) Wining and dining. On vactaiaon, you have time to savor leisurely meals, partake in and learn about local cuisine, research popular and out of the way spots. Both of us really liked mufungo, which is mashed plantains mixed with meat or seafood…two we tried with red snapper were particularly tasty, one at the upscale Aguaviva and the other at Mi Casita, in a small strip mall next to a Baskin Robbins near our hotel, recommended to us by a cab driver.

4) Communing with Nature. Big city residents don’t often get to immerse themselves in natural beauty. So we appreciated a half day tour to El Yunque rainforest in the mountains, with waterfalls and winding, precarious paths.

The minor downsides of vacationing:

1) Missed Opportunities. As discussed in an earlier post, freelancers can lose opportunities for work if they go out of town. Sure enough, I couldn’t go on an audition for a bank commercial that filmed out of town. I was able to reschedule an audition for a play (they asked me to audition, so maybe that helped) and salvage an emergency VO recording by doing it the minute I got home, at 9PM). The friend I went with missed out on the chance to do a fast food VO audition and to participate in a backer’s audition for a new musical.

2) Is there such a thing as too much time? Those of us accustomed to running around saying, “I have to do this, that and the other thing,” may be surprised by how many hours there are in a day when you don’t do any work, chores or errands at all. Settling into vacation mode and accepting that you deserve time off takes a mental adjustment.

As faithful readers know, I tend to be a worry wart. These days, the stock market freefall and horrible reports about the economy make it painful to check my 401k balance and read the newspaper. So instead of dwelling on things I can’t change, today I’m going to look on the bright side of life (as they advise in Spamalot).

Supposedly if you act happy, you’ll release endorphins and actually feel happier. On the other hand, excessive worrying/stressing out can result in various ailments from back pain to ulcers to lost sleep/concentration and headaches.

10 things I’m happy about today, in no particular order:

1) The price of gas, which even in my neighborhood is under $3.00.
2) Free TV shows on the Internet.
3) Good customer service. Kudos to US Cellular for having a rep who actually sounded concerned about my BlackBerry problem and knew how to fix it…fast. (Unlike AT&T Internet, where I seem to have trouble even getting to a real person and wind up with the rep who is reading a script by rote, line by line, and when I say I’ve already troubleshooted wants me to redo the basic stuff like turning off my modem. Ooops. There I go with the negativity again. You see how easy it is, even with the small things?)
4) A great book to lose yourself in.
5) Supportive friends and family.
6) People who do what they say they will when they say they will.
7) Returning clients who are happy with my work and want to give me more. And without having to audition.
8) Events to look forward to, including my vacation, plans with friends, shows I have tickets for, and the holiday concert I’m singing in.
9) The sense of accomplishment when I get stuff done.
10) Good health.

What 10 things are you happy about?

Perhaps you too read Highlights magazine as a kid and remember Goofus and Gallant. Whatever the social situation presented, Goofus did the “wrong” or impolite thing, while Gallant did the “right” or polite thing.

I thought of them while in line to vote at 5:50am on Tuesdsay morning.

There were already 10 or so people there when I arrived at my polling place, but because of the configuration of the small lobby, no clear line had formed. I automatically asked where the end of the line was. As did each person who arrived
after me. Someone would point out who had gotten there first and who was last. Each newcomer took his or her place, and with cell phone or iPod waited to be let in. People were smiling, pleasant, and friendly despite the early hour.

I thought, “What a nice neighborhood I live in. This is the American way.”

Until a woman barreled her way into the now crowded room and, as it happened, cut in front of me. She didn’t make eye contact with anyone. She frowned. Clearly she was, at this moment, a Goofus. So I wondered, what would Gallant do? Would he let her get away with rude behavior, or call her out on it and put peer pressure to work so she’d go to the end of the line?

What makes some people think the rules don’t apply to them? Are we obligated as Gallants to speak up, stand up for ourselves, or should we turn the proverbial other cheek and rise above rudeness? How bad does bad behavior need to be before we’ll take action?

I chose not to say anything. But obviously I’m still thinking about it.

I’ve already expressed my views on holidays: paid days off cherished by the Gainfully Employed are to the Gainfully UNemployed days we 1) won’t be contacted for new work or 2) should continue with projects in progress, especially if they are billable.

So if taking one day off is a mental challenge, its no surprise I haven’t taken multiple days off to go on an actual vacation. Which I define as a period of relaxation and enjoyment in a nice place with no set schedule. As opposed to a trip: an out of town getaway from your day to day routine, usually short, to visit family/friends or attend an event.

I have taken various trips, including family celebrations and writing conferences, but not a true vacation since I left corporate America three years ago. I also traveled to Lithuania to be an extra in Highlander 5: The Source (my set report is still on the Highlander Worldwide site, HERE). While this was an awesome, once in a lifetime experience and I did see several sites, most of the time I had a schedule. And it was FREEZING standing outside all night until past dawn during filming, so not exactly relaxing.

How can I justify spending money and missing out on chances to earn more (by not being available for auditions or fast turnaround VO jobs from returning clients) while I’m gone? But then, what about the need/desire to relax/recharge/have fun?

It’s not easy for me to set aside the guilt that I should be working or fork over the cash (particularly in these economic times). But I’m going to. Bask in tropical island sun…swim up to the pool bar…and hear the swish of palm trees overhead with a like minded friend.

Because I’m a freelancer, I can’t afford to be completely out of touch with the mainland. I’ll bring my laptop, and have the ability to send VO auditions via MP3. A compromise.

Do YOU need a vacation? These sites are among those that say we all do:

about.com

Stanley Bronstein

ineedmotivation