What have you forgotten lately, and what did doing so cost in frustration or money? Is forgetting a sign of aging or illness, having too much on our plates, or being too stressed or tired? Are we too busy thinking about what we’re supposed to do next than where we’re putting our car keys right now?

Usually I’m pretty good about remembering because I write almost everything down. But recently, I forgot:
-to blog yesterday. It was my turn to post on a group blog, and in doing that, editing a book for a friend under deadline and dealing with a family issue, I just forgot. It didn’t help that I didn’t add blogging to my ‘To Do’ list for that day.
-that I had a ticket for the Lyric’s production of Porgy and Bess. I thought I’d entered all opera dates on my calendar. Obviously not. The friend I go with called me on the way there, but I didn’t get the message in time. Kind of a costly error.

Sometimes I’m surprised when I open my Day-Timer and see a task written in my handwriting. I don’t remember putting it there, but that’s the point…by writing down what I need to do on the day it needs to be done, I can clear my head of that item, leaving room for other topics.

These days, a lot of people keep their to do lists on line, using sites like Remember the Milk and Toodledo , or have them on their computer and/or synced with their BlackBerry or phone. But I prefer having mine in writing, on paper. It’s more accessible; to me flipping pages is easier than scrolling or remembering to keep a site open, plus I can keep it on my desk next to my computer.

If you’d like to be less forgetful, try:

Banishing Forgetfulness

Combat Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness: Not always what you think

How much preparation is enough? If you’re giving a presentation for work, going on an audition, or sending out a manuscript to an editor or agent…how far are you willing to go to produce your best, and how do you know when you’re ready? When you run out of time? Ha.

Tuesday afternoon around 2:30, I got a call from a talent agent telling me I’d been selected to audition for a SAG movie. A lead role. The audition was Wednesday at 4:30, and she’d be emailing me the sides (ie, lines to learn). I was a bit surprised when not one, not two, but three scenes appeared in my mailbox. And two of them required crying.

Before reading the script, I Yahoo!ed the casting director, Matthew Lessall, and found a 2/14 blog entry () about his adventures casting this film. He focused on preparation, because apparently some actors had complained about how hard the material was and that they didn’t enough time to prepare, though he’d booked them for the audition LAST WEEK. (Recall that I only have around 24 hours.)

His advice: “PRACTICE! When you think you have practiced enough, DO IT AGAIN!”

So that is what I decided to do. Fortunately I didn’t have major plans Tuesday evening. Would I have gone so far as to, say, cancel dinner with a friend? Try to find someone to use theatre tickets? Miss a chorus rehearsal or class? Hmmm.

Next I researched the director and the film, and found a cool “first look” on the director’s Web site. (What did we do before the Internet?) I read through the scenes, decided what a late 40s Orthodox wife with 3 kids might wear and what to do with my hair. I reviewed and reviewed my lines, out loud and silently. The next day, I brought them with me and rehearsed on the bus and while waiting for an appointment. I wasn’t fully memorized, but could glance at a line then say it.

How did the audition go? Had I prepared enough?

When my turn came, Matt asked if I’d had time to look over the script. I knew better than to say, “Well, I just got it yesterday afternoon.” So I told him I’d read his blog and quoted his preparation advice, which I’d followed. He said that was more than most. Then we had a nice chat about blogging and health insurance. Sounds like a good start.

He asked if I had any questions. I wanted to know what her job was, because one of the scenes is outside her place of work. He said that was a good question, but he didn’t know the answer.

I did the first scene, with him reading the other parts. It’s a little nervewracking to have the casting director as your reading partner, because you need to make eye contact…and while you’re trying to remember the lines, separate the fact that he’s the one who can hire you from the need to see the other people in the sence, find the emotion and be in the moment.

He said my performance was flat (Ouch. Is that what it feels like not to go through to Hollywood on American Idol?), but then gave me some direction on how to do better. According to his blog, that’s a good thing. And I know some auditioners give notes just to see if you can take direction.

I did the scene again, and he seemed happier. We moved on to the second scene. He said that was good, but didn’t ask me to do the third. Which, of course, I’d also rehearsed…

When I gave work presentations, I always had more information to impart than fit into my alotted time. The questions attendees asked were almost always easier than I’d anticipated. I prefer to be as prepared as I can be, so the time and effort I’ve invested will pay off.

Songs have been written about the need for and benefits of help…by artists including The Beatles and Bette Midler (who didn’t get teary-eyed listening to The Wind Beneath my Wings?).

Yet there are those unable to realize when they need help. Some who realize the need are unwilling to ask. Others are unwilling to accept help, because they think doing so makes them seem weak. They don’t want to sacrifice any of their independence or privacy and/or feel guilty, that they will be indebted to the helper.

Many offer help, and many are happy to give it when asked. Others do so grudgingly, perhaps resentful of the time and effort needed, or they attach strings.

Help can come in many forms…from encouraging words to assistance with a specific project to giving of your time, and in this economy, money or even food.

Writers are one group that thrives on help. Many authors have critique partners, without whom they say they’d never have finished or sold some or all of their books. This writer would not have kept going for so long after so many rejections without the ongoing encouragement and support of many friends, from one who recommended my latest manuscript to her agent to those I’ve made through Romance Writers of America.

But help goes both ways. I’m helping a friend under deadline by line editing so she can produce new pages. I’ve helped another stay on task, which also helped me, because it’s easier to stay focused when you’re writing with someone.

How can you be a more gracious giver or reciever? What’s the best way to thank someone who helps you, and the best way to accept thanks? I’d guess any way that leaves both parties satisfied.

For more information on the subject of help: Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help

How to accept help:

Great Entrepreneurial Minds

About.com Article focuses on arthritis but issues are relevant.

How to thank someone: Wikihow

Merriam-Webster online defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment.”

How many times have we heard that happiness comes from within:

Ezine @rticle

Articlesbase

Even so, external events often trigger happiness or unhappiness–you get the job/part you wanted, the guy you like asks you out/your spouse does what he said s/he would…or you don’t get it and s/he doesn’t.

I’m one of those people who finds it challenging to stay happy when things in my little world or the big world aren’t going well. Things that make me unhappy: looking at my 401(k) balance, getting a rejection. Things that make me happy: participating in enjoyable activities, getting the part.

A goal is to stay on a more even keel as opposed to riding the roller coaster of happiness. I’m working on letting go when stuff happens that I can’t control, and really appreciating all the good stuff in my life.

What can we do to be happier? Maybe learn more about how to be happy…

About.com advises “cultivating an internal locus of control,” or the belief that you are the master of your fate.

wikiHow has many suggestions, including relaxing, smiling, taking the good with the bad, being thankful, pursuing goals that make you happy, developing healthy relationships, and making someone else happy.

The Formula for Being Happy says it’s a matter of V2 x S2 x P2 x L2 = H, or V2 = Values times Vision. S2 = Stability times Structure (of which balance, accent, and flow are parts). P2 = Passion times Professionalism, which together produce Power. L2 = Love Given times Love Received. H = Happiness.

Not sure how happy you are? Try a Happiness Quiz.

What makes you happy?

When we’re getting ready to do something, we hope it goes well. From going on a audition to preparing for a presentation at work, we hope for the best. These days we hope the economy will improve and our 401(k)s will return to normal. Most people recall the role hope played when Pandora opened her box.

How much hope do you have?

I remember a game I played as a kid called the last Straw. A brown plastic camel with wheels on its feet wore two yellow baskets. Players took turns placing colored plastic sticks in the baskets. You hoped yours wasn’t the one to break the camel’s back.

Just like that camel, most of us have our breaking point. Some people might quit after a single failure. Others persist until they succeed, no matter how long or how hard the journey.

How do you know if you should press on toward a goal in the face of rejection or failure? Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re beating your head against the wall or are about to become an example of that quote, “Winners never quit…” Are you that auditionee on American Idol who clearly has no talent whatsoever, except in his own ears? Or are you the next J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter got rejected a dozen times), Margaret Mitchell (GWTW got rejected 38 times) or Robert M. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance, over 120 rejections)?

Imagine for a minute sending out 100 submissions, following each agent’s or editor’s guidelines…some would be queries, some would include sample chapters and/or a synopsis. See the reams of paper printed and tidily stacked, the 100 envelopes ready to be mailed. (Yes, some agents/editors accept e-submissions today but many don’t.) Imagine the hope you’d feel.

As each rejection rolled in, you’d think, “One NO closer to YES.” (I give a workshop called that.) You’d hope, “Maybe the next one.” What if all of that effort yielded nothing but a pile of letterhead? Would you keep going?

Persistence is a lot like gambling. What separates the person who sends out just one more submission and the one who bets on just one more race…that the goal of being a published author is more laudable than trying to make money via luck? The person putting a bet down on a horse with even 20-1 odds has a better chance of winning than the person sending out queries does of snagging an agent or selling a book.

Just because the odds are high doesn’t mean we should give up. Let’s hope that hope isn’t quantifiable. That it regenerates and grows stronger while we persist until we achieve our dreams.

I’ve been judging a few writing contests lately and have been unpleasantly surprised by the number of typos and misused words in the entries. One or two don’t bother me as much. But many not only pull me out of the story, they come across as unprofessional and show me the author lacks attention to detail. And I’ve heard many agents and editors say that they’ll reject or are more likely to reject submissions with too many errors.

Don’t believe me? Here are a few examples:

Knight Agency Do’s & Don’ts
Four Agents in current issue of Poets & Writers Magazine
Shepard Agency

So why don’t authors take greater care before sending their work out to be judged? There are so many other reasons a submission might be rejected, why not control the things you can?

On the other hand, how picky is too picky?

I’m revising my commercial voiceover demo, and have been analyzing every word I’ve said in the recordings I’m considering, listening over and over for flaws. In this commercial, the third word sounds too scratchy. In this, the first word doesn’t have the right inflection. There’s too much mouth noise in this phrase that can’t be edited out. Or maybe this product isn’t one that best reflects me as a voiceover talent. Every time I listen, though I hear many things I like, I also hear something new I might want to change. Am I being over-critical? Is there such a thing when the demo will go on my agent’s Web site?

Manuscripts, query and cover letters, resumes, Web sites, headshots and VO demos are our marketing materials. We need to present the best products we can. When are they ready to go? I suggest getting a second opinion, a fresh set of eyes or ears. Have experienced fellow authors review your submissions. Ask my agent(s) to listen to my demo before completing the final version. If your products improve, the additional time and effort will be worth it.

So please, aspiring authors, don’t enter a contest, and definitely don’t submit to an editor or agent, until your work is as clean of errors as it can be.

Hard to believe it’s been three years since I fled corporate America to pursue acting and writing full time.

Am I glad I did? Yes: I’d wanted to devote more time to these creative careers and make them my day job for years. No: I still miss the daily camaraderie and paid vacation.

As they say, time does fly when you’re having fun. I’ve really enjoyed building my voiceover and on camera career. Several industry sources said it takes three years to gather momentum. Which has proven true: last year I worked far more than ever before, and had more returning clients. I’m getting auditions for bigger projects with bigger clients.

All this doesn’t mean my work is done. Especially in this economy, I can’t sit back and relax if I want to keep that momentum growing. So I’m updating my materials and will embark on a marketing campaign.

There have been challenges and setbacks. I need to not stress out as much if I don’t have any auditions or bookings on the horizon. Not to get into the whole The Secret thing, but I have to believe if I lay the ground work opportunities will follow.

Writing-wise, though I’ve completed two more manuscripts and a non-fiction proposal and added more writing contest finals and wins, I still haven’t sold. It’s hard to keep believing each new manuscript will be “the one.” But thanks to many supportive friends, and knowing there are authors who wrote even more books and accumulated more rejections than I have before they sold, I won’t give up. And think what a great story about persistence and handling rejection I’ll have when I do sell.

Some people are optimists by nature, some pessimists. I am a worrier; ruminating is easy for me. But I’m working on not worrying about the things I can’t control so I have more mental energy to focus on the things I can.

Here’s to happy anniversaries, living in the moment and taking things one day at a time.