The roller coaster stock market scares many an investor. Talk of a recession makes employees fear layoffs and financial instability, and retailers fear a dismal holiday shopping season. Throw in any ongoing worries, such as health issues (yes, my foot still hurts!) and dealing with old age (yours or your relatives’), whether or not your relationship will last or if you’ll ever be in one, and how your kids are doing in school/activities…you could spend your entire day mired in anxiety and lose sleep at night.

One of my favorite quotes is: “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of strength.” Easy to say, but many of us cannot just let our worries go. We’ll need to do something to quash or cope with our fears.

Some, of course, may choose therapy and/or medication. I’m not a therapist, nor have I played one on TV, so I did a bit of research and found recommendations to:

–Focus on the present and live in the moment…because you can’t change the past or predict the future.
–Catch your negative thoughts, particularly about things you can’t control, and replace them with positive thoughts and/or action steps you can take in areas you can control.
–Try simple exercises to release tension…such as deep breathing from your diaphragm, not your chest.

A couple of sites that might be of use:

Molly Gordon’s guide to Dealing with Fear and Anxiety

About.com: Stress and Anxiety

What are your favorite ways to reduce stress?

The huge step forward: Good news. 1) lots of voiceover work! Did my largest project (in terms of word count) to date–tutorial narrations and some script editing for an Internet site going live next month. And so far at least, they haven’t asked for any retakes. Also got a small project for a national warehouse club and a very small project from a returning client. 2) My WIP tied for first in the first contest I entered it in and the final round judge requested a full manuscript.

The two steps back (pun intended): Foot surgery recovery is enervating….having trouble sleeping, elevating foot is a challenge, driving isn’t a problem but walking more than a block is harder than I’d expected. Grocery shopping remains a daunting prospect. It’s only been two weeks and day, but seems like months. The boot comes off today, though, so my hopes are high for improvement and returning to a normal schedule.

My sympathies go to anyone dealing with a life setback. I Yahoo! searched that and found the following advice:

–Begin now during those routine, ordinary days to practice cultivating an eye for fun and humor. Debbie Mandel, BellaOnline’s Stress Management Editor

–…when we criticize ourselves for steps backward, we destroy momentum. Instead, to recognize that backward steps can happen when we run into resistance helps us not be demoralized when it occurs. But we can’t wait long before taking the positive steps forward again. When you find you have taken steps back in diet or exercise, for example, assess the situation quickly and continue on. Don’t stop. Arden Mahlberg

–Make a plan. Given that negative emotions are the primary driver of major setbacks, you can encourage clients to create “stress response plans” by filling in the blank: “When I feel stressed or upset, I will deal with it productively by _____ .” Help them identify two or three options that work for them. They might exercise, meditate, call a friend for support, distract themselves with immersive experiences like going to a movie, and so on. Productive reactions to stress are a powerful predictor of life change. Dr. Stephen Kraus

And every day, take time to remember all the things you are grateful for.

So many aspects of life are out of our control…from the economy’s meltdown and the tanking of our 401Ks to what will happen in our microcosms. Will the cute guy I just met ask me out? Will I be called for any auditions this week, and, if so, will I book the job(s)? Will your kid make the football team/school play? Will you/your spouse get that promotion or be laid off? Why do bad things happen to good people?

To offset the stressful impact of impending events (like foot surgery) and deal with unpleasant experiences (like rejection), some people overeat or undereat. Some drink too much.

I clean.

Why? Because the state of my condo is something I can control. Years of sincere and persistent effort have not yet resulted in a sale of any of my manuscripts. But with some elbow grease and a time commitment of only a few hours, I vanquish dust bunnies and fingerprints. Mere minutes a day keep my papers, drawers and closets organized…with shoes lined up, clothes on shelves neatly stacked and aligned. Even my junk drawer is tidy.

I feel satisfied each time I open a drawer and see the orderly arrangement of my stuff. My little world is in order.

The day before my foot surgery, I cleaned. Everything, including the refrigerator shelves and underneath the sink. I wanted to come home to a clean house.

Friends and family have prevailed upon me to alleviate their disorganization frustration. If you Yahoo! search “remove clutter,” you get 188,000 entries. Some suggest that clutter is a cause of stress. And can lead to wasted time looking for things you can’t find.

What’s cluttering your life? Try this: Devote five minutes a day to organizing/de-clutterizing for one week. Do you feel better?

Everyone has rough weeks, and this was one of mine. It started out better than I’d expected, but ended worse.

Monday: foot surgery!! I was nervous, but the procedure was surprisingly painless and the doctor said it went great. No problems with anesthesia, and the block they was worked for hours after so my foot was numb. Thanks to a very supportive friend who brought me there and back and made me lunch, and friends’ calls/emails, I was feeling good and bouyed by relief as I put my foot up as instructed and caught up on some TV shows I’d recorded.
Tuesday: Moved around as little as possible. Still numb so not in pain but keeping my leg elevated and hauling the boot around was uncomfortable and harder than I’d thought it would be.
Wednesday early am and most of the day: OUCH. OUCH. Vicodin not helping. Am glad to hear from friends/family but am starting to wish they’d stop being so cheery about my impending recovery and would just commiserate with me.
Thursday: Hmmm. Nauseated with sharp stomach pains. Head does not want to lift off pillow. Probably the vicodin. Same friend helped me to the car (I’m a long way from the elevator) and drove me appx an hour to post-op appointment, longer on the way back. Doctor says everything looks great. As I was standing on a platform and taking my foot out of the boot to have xrays, he introduced me to a perky girl, who, 6 weeks after surgery, wore heels the night before. I was way too cranky and uncomfortable to appreciate her success and envision my own. Ordered dinner in to thank my friend for all of his help, but my stomach was too upset to enjoy it.
Friday: Must go to Walgreens for stomach remedies. I made my way to my car and drove 3 blocks. That is the summation of my daily exertions.
Saturday: Stomach still upset, woke up 3 times overnight and drank some milk, which seemed to help. Really hoping tomorrow will be better.

Lesson learned: Friends don’t want their friends to suffer. Most of us have trouble dealing with other people’s pain, so we offer good wishes and cheery thoughts.

I know I’ll feel better soon, my foot pain will diminish and in a few weeks I’ll have greater mobility than I had before. But that doesn’t change how awful I feel right now. I really wanted sympathy in these moments of unwellness, not reminders of how great I’ll be eventually.

So the next time someone I know is sick/recovering from a medical procedure, I will cut back on the cheery prognostications, recognize how they’re feeling right then and sympathize with them.

Sometimes when I talk to friends I haven’t seen in awhile, they say they’re amazed by how many things I’m doing:

–taking improv classes
–singing in a chorus
–working on both new fiction and non-fiction projects while submitting completed manuscripts and proposals
–editing published friends’ proposals and manuscripts
–freelance editing
–marketing to get more voiceover/on camera clients
–handling my dad’s estate matters
–auditioning and completing acting jobs
–serving on the national board of an organization w/10,000 members and on the editorial board of the CBA’s magazine
–etc.

Of course I’m not doing all these things at once, plus I have the eight hours a day most people spend in day jobs to fill. I’d bet if you listed all the things you do, you’d be surprised at how many you came up with.

Can you have too many irons in the fire? Would you get better results if you focused on a few things at a time?

Should I, for example, stop pursing acting opportunities so I have more time to spend on writing and marketing my writing? Or vice versa? If I gave up the chorus and improv classes, I’d have 4.5 more hours each week, plus the time it takes to get there and back, to work.

For the Gainfully Unemployed, finding the best balance between work, activities and social life can be a challenge. I have actor friends who I don’t think work hard enough, but complain that they aren’t getting enough auditions/jobs/money. Yet I think I put forth a lot of effort to get those things, and I sometimes have the same complaints. Will my hours spent pay off in the long run because I’m building contacts and making connections? Or do I need to work harder?

In our busy busy world, sometimes we neglect to make time for activities that don’t contribute to the bottom line but are still important to us. For me, one of those things is choral singing.

I actually got paid the first time I sang in a choir. Fifteen dollars a month, in 5th grade. We sang for women’s groups. I cried when the director told me I had to be an alto. I thought singing harmony was a demotion. Later, of course, I realized that holding your part is more challenging than singing the melody.

By the time I reached high school, my main goal in life was to get into the Viking Choir. They sang on television, toured Europe every other year, made albums, and had lots of parties. And you couldn’t be in school musicals unless you were in choir. Finally, it was an honors class, which meant an A was worth more.

But a grueling audition with our strict choral director, Walter Rodby, was required. You had to sight read–he gave you a piece of music and the starting note, then you had to read the rest off the page with no accompaniment. You had to repeat back patterns played on the piano, sing a variety of scales and chords, and hold your part in the Star Spangled Banner. Voice quality, not my strong suit, counted too. Scoring was kept secret, but rumor said that over 40 out of 50 meant you’d probably get in.

So I took voice lessons. My teacher said, “I have a good track record of getting people into choir. But I don’t know about you.” I scheduled a lesson right before my audition. I cried in the car on the way to school. The girl auditioning before me came out of the room crying.

I survived the audition. By squinting at the piece of paper on the piano, I could see that my score was 43. I got in. In addition to loving the process of learning new pieces and singing them, many of the best moments of my junior and senior years were because of choir…touring Greece, having a half hour Christmas special on WGN-TV, making friends.

I just loved choral singing. So I sang in a symphony choir in college for a couple of semesters and an oratorio society in law school, and sang some amazing music, from Vaughn William’s Dona Nobis Pacem to Mahler’s Symphony of 1000 to highlights from Philip Glass’s Satyagraha. It’s not every day you get to sing in Sanskrit with music that, instead of having every measure written out so you can follow along, had a bracket over a group of measures with a number on top, such as 9. Meaning you had to count while repeating that phrase 9 times.

I remember the thrill of singing Beethoven’s 9th under the direction of the late Christopher Keene. There was something about the energy in the air during one of our performances…as the final chords echoed through the hall, the audience jumped to its feet.

But when I started working, choral singing fell by the wayside. Until a couple of years ago, when the Chicago Bar Assiation formed a chorus. I joined with a friend. We sang Beethoven’s 9th at Navy Pier for 1,100 people. We sang the National Anthem at a Sox game (which can be heard on the CBA Web site.) Now we’re starting Haydn’s Creation.

I’m really enjoying singing again. But all of us…from young to retirees, must make time in our schedules for rehearsals and performances.

What, pun intended, strikes a chord deep within you?

Almost everyone has something he or she is working toward…whether it’s finishing (or submitting) that novel, losing 10 pounds, cleaning out the garage, or trying to excercise more/eat healthier.

But how many of us actually reach the goals we set for ourselves? We do reach goals set by our bosses: finish that report by Friday. Because if we don’t, there are consequences…like getting fired. For personal goals, often the only consequence is how unhappy you’re going to be with yourself if you don’t succeed. Many of us have no qualms saying, “I’ll just work out tomorrow,” or “I’d rather do X, I’ll get to that thing Y I want to do another time.”

What makes some of us stick to our goals while others don’t?

Maybe
–careful planning is the key…breaking a big goal, such as writing a novel, into small, doable steps. Say you’ll complete one page (or 250 words) per day, instead of letting the mind boggle at the thought of finishing an entire book. Or decide to clean one drawer at a time instead of letting the messiness of an entire room overwhelm you and stop you from getting started.
— there’s a discipline gene…what if some people have it and some don’t?
–some want to be the Red Hen, not the other barnyard animals: wishing they could reap the benefit eating the bread without having to participate in the baking
–there are those who enjoy talking about what they will do, rather than actually investing the time and effort into making that dream a reality…and end up failing. The hope of “I could have…” vs. the defeat of “Now I know I can’t.”

–it’s fear of success, how their lives will change if they do succeed.

Are one of these reasons or something else holding you back? Figure out what’s holding you back and take steps to remove or overcome the hindrance(s).

Now you’ve set another goal…will you reach this one?