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Ruth Kaufman - Award-Winning Author and Romance Writer

Ruth Kaufman is the author of My Life as a Star, My Life as an Extra, My Once & Future Love, The Bride Tournament, Follow Your Heart, At His Command and other books.

A Little Help, Please?

February 12, 2009 By Ruth Kaufman

Songs have been written about the need for and benefits of help…by artists including The Beatles and Bette Midler (who didn’t get teary-eyed listening to The Wind Beneath my Wings?).

Yet there are those unable to realize when they need help. Some who realize the need are unwilling to ask. Others are unwilling to accept help, because they think doing so makes them seem weak. They don’t want to sacrifice any of their independence or privacy and/or feel guilty, that they will be indebted to the helper.

Many offer help, and many are happy to give it when asked. Others do so grudgingly, perhaps resentful of the time and effort needed, or they attach strings.

Help can come in many forms…from encouraging words to assistance with a specific project to giving of your time, and in this economy, money or even food.

Writers are one group that thrives on help. Many authors have critique partners, without whom they say they’d never have finished or sold some or all of their books. This writer would not have kept going for so long after so many rejections without the ongoing encouragement and support of many friends, from one who recommended my latest manuscript to her agent to those I’ve made through Romance Writers of America.

But help goes both ways. I’m helping a friend under deadline by line editing so she can produce new pages. I’ve helped another stay on task, which also helped me, because it’s easier to stay focused when you’re writing with someone.

How can you be a more gracious giver or reciever? What’s the best way to thank someone who helps you, and the best way to accept thanks? I’d guess any way that leaves both parties satisfied.

For more information on the subject of help: Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help

How to accept help:

Great Entrepreneurial Minds

About.com Article focuses on arthritis but issues are relevant.

How to thank someone: Wikihow

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Morgan Mandel says

    February 15, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Many times I hesitate to ask for help because I still have that notion from grammar school in my head, the one about getting help with homework is cheating and I should do it myself.

    Morgan Mandel
    http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
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