When deciding whether to press on or give up, we may think of platitudes like: “Winners never quit, quitters never win.” “Persistence pays.” “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”

But then there are: “You’re hitting your head against a brick wall.” “Don’t beat a dead horse.” “Don’t throw good money after bad.”

We’ve heard how long it took Edison to make the light bulb work and how many failures he had, the high number of rejections some now-famous authors received before selling, actors who were down to their last quarter before getting their big break.

So how much time, effort and money do you invest in a venture before you’re satisfied you should keep going or you’re sure you’re done? Do you set an ultimatum…if I don’t see X results by Y date, I’m through?

If you persist, you may attain your goal. But in most cases, there’s no way to know how long that will take. You may at least have more interesting and beneficial experiences. Or you may feel you’ve wasted more time and come to regret not moving on sooner.

If you quit, there’s the fear that you’re giving up too soon…your next attempt could be the one. On the other hand, you’ll have more time, money and energy to spend on a fresh start or other pursuits you hadn’t focused on. You might feel relief or that you’ve failed.

Then there are those who settle in between…half-heartedly persisting or subsisting in an unsatisfying situation, whether it’s a bad relationship or job, because change is just too scary.

If the majority of your friends advise you to go one way or the other, do you believe them or do the opposite? We’re often told to trust our instincts, but what if they aren’t communicating with us…do we hope they’ll speak up soon or just make a decision? Some may believe in signs and keep going until they get one. Others may pray for guidance.

I think the key is to get out of the rut and do something to move forward. Then perhaps the way will become more clear.

Today I worked as an extra in a Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Connolly film directed by Ron Howard currently called Cheaters.

Being a movie star may be glamourous, but being an extra is a lot about waiting. However, there aren’t many places you can get paid (albeit not that much) to sit and read, use your cell or chat with fellow extras. I do it mostly because I enjoy being close enough to major stars and directors that I can see and hear them at work. Sometimes we’re served amazing lunches, like grilled salmon and a variety of homemade desserts…almost any meal I don’t have to shop for, cook and clean up after is a good meal.

On today’s set, an upscale restaurant, I was in fact close enough to Ron Howard that he spoke to me. Ok, so it wasn’t to direct me (though he did during an El scene in Backdraft back in 1990…a scene he said was important–involving William Baldwin on his way to his first day of work as a fireman–but was cut, in the days before deleted scenes were saved for DVDs. WB, carrying a bunch of bags, sat in front of me as I read a magazine. I was supposed to react at a certain spot. Our train rode around the Loop many times.). It was to apologize for almost tripping over my chair.

Vince V and Jennifer C walked right by my table. It’s very interesting to note the changes and adjustments made for each take, and to see close up the process of filming different scenes. And, as an upscale diner, I also got to eat a piece of delicious chocolate hazelnut mousse cake.

Today’s hours were quite reasonable, 7:30AM-2:00PM. Usually extras work around 12 hours. And on Public Enemies, I worked from 9:00AM until 2:30AM the next morning, including the two hours it took to get into 1930’s hair, makeup and wardrobe.

Transformers 3 is next to come to town…but I chose not to attend the open casting call–aka registration–and wait for hours in line. The FOX series Ride Along starring Jennifer Beals is supposed to film entirely in Chicago. I worked on the pilot (and in the small world vein was placed in the office of someone who used to be a corporate America client of mine), but perhaps I’ll work on an episode or episodes, too….

In our high speed, multi-tasking world where many people feel the need to frequently check e-mails and texts even when having weekend dinner or drinks with a friend, one might think communication would be easier, more efficient and clearer.

In fact, because of the haste with which e-communications are often read and sent, concern that your message wasn’t received if you don’t receive a timely reply, or replies that have an off-putting tone, using cell phones and computers to communicate can be frustrating, confusing or waste time.

Common challenges:

–Not supplying requested or required information or non-responsive responses. Example: You need to know what color the sky is and your client/friend/co-worker says “yes.”

–Responding to part but not all of an e-communication. Example: You can’t record a script until the pronunciations of 3 words are confirmed, but for some reason the client only gives you 2.

–Too many e-communications sent to resolve a simple issue.

–E-groups discussions for committees needing to complete complex tasks go in circles.

–Someone higher up the food chain sends a detailed revision e-mail but could have saved both of you time by making the changes on the document.

Suggestions:

–Take the time to read and respond carefully so you can be accurate, thorough and reduce follow up.

–Endeavor to be consistent in response times.

–If you don’t have the information, or if you’re part of a group and your opinion has been requested, don’t not respond. Either say when you plan to supply the information or let the group know you don’t care which decision is made.

–Use out of office auto-replies to let people know when you’re not available.

–If you need information/confirmation before you can move forward, consider providing a deadline: “If I don’t hear from you by X on Y issue, I’ll go ahead and do Z.”

–Pick up the phone instead of creating a long e-mail chain.

–Follow up phone calls in writing. People are often multi-tasking (driving, checking e-mails) when on the phone and may be distracted or just not remember all details agreed to during a call.

–Double check that a revision you want someone to make is really needed or correct. I’ve been asked to change things I know are accurate because someone assumed they weren’t.

–Say what you mean.

Many people with day jobs have the benefit of access to an IT person or department. If something goes wrong with their PCs, they should be able to get help. At least they have co-workers to ask if they don’t know how to do a particular task in Excel, or figure out which Word command they need.

But the GU usually work alone (though perhaps those who work in coffee shops can ask fellow laptop users). Sometimes when we agree to take on an assignment, it turns out to be outside our technology comfort zone. So we can be in for some wasted time and frustration.

Two examples:

–I had to include 2 original graphics in each weekly program for a local production. I couldn’t get Photoshop to execute the ideas I saw in my head. I tried to figure it out on my own and managed to get a few features to cooperate, but got hung up on layers. Finding helpful online help was a challenge. After far too much time, I finally had the graphics I wanted. But by the next time I used Photoshop, I’d forgotten some of the things I’d learned.

–A friend hired me to file a document requiring certain attachments. She sent me one, but each page was a separate JPEG and I needed them all in a single PDF. I tried opening each JPEG, printing it, then using my scanner, but for whatever reason I still couldn’t get the pages into a single document. Fortunately in this case, another friend helped.

In addition to days of misery following my recent computer crash and hours reloading software and adjusting settings, I’m still dealing with some side effects.

The solution: find a computer/technology whiz and see if I can barter some editing or writing for assistance and customized training.

The saying goes, “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.”

Parents get asked to do just one more thing for their kids’ school. Those who volunteer for associations or charities are encouraged to take on yet another task for their committee. And often we– who are interested in the new assignment, or want to be needed, want to be helpful or don’t want to disappoint others– agree.

But when are you too busy? When I was in college, someone put a note on my door that said, “Your busy social life should be less busy and more social.” I don’t know who put it there. Did a sorority sister think I was involved in too many campus organizations/activities and so not going out enough? Hmm.

Sometimes we wind up over committing ourselves. When we accept, we think we’ll have time to complete everything on deadline.  Even for the efficient, productive Gainfully Unemployed, doing so can be a challenge when everything is due at once. This week, for example, I’m fortunate to have quite a lot on my plate.  I’m working on a massive voiceover job: recording and editing an e-learning course of 341 highly technical PowerPoint slides due “yesterday.” I also have a smaller VO job due Monday. In addition, I’ve promised to file a friend’s domain name dispute complaint, owe content to the co-author of a non-fiction project, had a bar association committee meeting, was required to do a bit of promotion for one improv show, have a rehearsal with that team, had a handful of auditions and a performance with my other improv team.

In order get all of these projects done, something had to go. But what? Should I have skipped out on social events like a baby shower (for which I’m expected to bring a salad—meaning I also need to go to the grocery store and chop.  Can I take a shortcut of buying bottled dressing, or make one from scratch as planned?) and a friend’s birthday celebration? Not crew for a cable TV shoot for another bar association committee, which fortunately I didn’t commit to but know they need help?

Or admit that this week I simply can’t do it all? Just writing that makes me cringe. There must be a compromise. I’ve been getting up earlier than usual so I can be at my computer by 6AM. I rescheduled a meeting in Milwaukee and bypassed the cable shoot, gaining 12 hours.

What are you willing to do to get everything done?

I’m one of the many people, Gainfully Unemployed or not, who often spend much of our days thinking and worrying about what we will be doing later or have done in the past. We don’t focus enough on or appreciate enough what we’re actually doing right now. At this very moment.

Wonder why you can’t remember if you left the iron on or if you locked the door? Because you were thinking about where you were going and operating on autopilot instead of paying attention to each task you completed. Even if we’re talking on the phone with a friend, my guess is that many of us aren’t giving complete focus to what the friend is saying in particular, or the conversation in general. We’re thinking, “Can’t forget to pick up Susie at school in an hour,” or we go so far as to surf the Web or check e-mail.

A friend of mine recommended the book, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. One of his main suggestions is that each of us listen without judging to the ruminating voice in our heads. Once we can “be aware not only of the thought but yourself as a witness to the thought,” Tolle says “a new dimension of consciousness has come in” and “the thought loses its power over you and quickly subsides because you are no longer energizing the mind through identification with it.”

Supposedly we will be less stressed and more fulfilled if we are truly present. Many who promote living in the moment recommend actively noticing every detail of what is happening to you right now. What exactly are you doing, what sensations are you experiencing, what sounds do you hear?

Things I’m going to try to see if I can feel more present:
1) When I’m on the phone, just be on the phone so I can participate fully in the conversation. Not clean my condo or fold laundry, which is what I usually do.

2) Observe rather than dwell on ruminations, then let them go.

3) Focus on the specifics of what is happening right now.

Why do some people get things done, but others don’t? I think it comes down to the D word: discipline.

Some people are content to get by at their day jobs and spend their spare time with families, friends and hobbies. Maybe to them, the best weekend is one spent watching sports and tossing back a few brewskies. Others are willing to work weekends because they’re driven to climb the corporate ladder or reach for their dreams, whether it’s going back to get that master’s degree or writing and trying to sell a novel(s). Even if their pursuit means long hours and foregoing social events. Even if it means no guarantees, takes years and the odds are stacked against them.

Still others say over and over that they want to do X (even if it’s just cleaning out the garage), but add “some day” and do nothing because some day never comes. It’s always today. Or they take baby steps, but get easily frustrated when they don’t see immediate results (or, as with cleaning the garage, things get messier before they get better) and give up. They can’t see the big picture.

Not surprisingly, some definitions of discipline include self-control:  not giving in to every impulse for immediate gratification.

Most days I am disciplined…I complete the daily goals I set, which often include a certain number of proactive efforts or pages to write.  Other days, it’s hard not to succumb to the lure of a beautiful day, a leisurely lunch with a friend or catching up with TiVo.  Because, of course, I have really good reasons:  We don’t have that many great weather days in Chicago. I haven’t seen Y friend in a long time and she’s busy.  If I don’t watch the finale of Z reality TV show now, I won’t be able to go online without finding out who won.  That’s when self-discipline and self-control need to kick in.  When I have to convince myself that getting at least some work done is more important in the long run than slacking off today.

successconsciousness.com: “Contrary to common belief, self-discipline is not a severe and limited behavior or a restrictive lifestyle. It is a very useful inner power, which enables one to persevere and not give up, in spite of failure and setbacks. It grants its possessor self control, and the ability to resist temptations and distractions that tend to stand in the way of attaining aims and goals. In fact, it is one of the most important pillars of real and stable success.”

Some motivational quotes from the same site, here.

Developing self-discipline: “Learning life mastery and personal discipline will only come about when you set precise goals that you wish to achieve. Self-discipline goals are somewhat different than success-oriented goals, in that self-discipline goals are defined by personal improvement. Once you identify areas of your life that you wish to gain total control over, you have now defined specific areas of improvement.”

Discipline.  One day at a time.

Last week my PC crashed…froze at the Windows XP splash screen. Yikes.

Like many Gainfully Unemployed, I rely on my computer every day. I send audition MP3s to agents, jobs to clients, query letters and submissions. I do Internet research on facts and grammar rules when editing, agents and editors when submitting…the list goes on and on. So I, not very technically inclined, had to decide what to do, and fast. (One benefit of gainful employment: an employer who offers tech support and/or a replacement computer.)

Fortunately I’d backed up most of my data (if you haven’t, do it now! I use an external hard drive, and probably will add online backup, also.), and I have a laptop and wireless Internet, so I was able to stay on top of email. But the laptop doesn’t have all the software I need, plus it’s not ergonomic…so getting work done has taken a lot longer. And figuring out how to get quality sound for my auditions has been a challenge.

Not to mention time/money/frustration I expended troubleshooting, deciding what to do about fixing it and updating my laptop with new drivers, etc. I’m not quite sure how I figured all that out, especially when I realized I’d downloaded an XP driver for my Bluetooth mouse though my laptop has Vista…

I ended up taking my hard drive to the Geek Squad at Best Buy. Fortunately all of my data was salvagable. They wanted to run a $69.99 diagnostic that would take 3-5 days. They called on the 17th to say my PC had acquired 271 pieces of malware (I’d thought my antivirus software/firewall would prevent that, but obviously not.) and so my OS was corrupted. They could fix it for another $130, and would need until the 19th or the 21st. Better to cave and buy a new PC (or a Mac, as many friends advise)…or go with the fix? I chose the fix.

It’s not ready yet, which means 10 days so far without my PC. Seems like much, much longer. Maybe this cloud has a silver lining…when I do get it back it might run faster than before.

From students to freelancers to telecommuters, many of us simply can’t their jobs done these days without daily computer access. There’s no way I know of to prevent future crashes and the frustration that goes along with them…but adequate preparation via backup and easily accessible alternate technology helps a lot.

By three little words, I don’t mean “I love you” and why those words can be so hard to say or feel.  I mean the fact that three little words can make a huge difference in the amount of money and respect an actor earns.

Yesterday I auditioned for a speaking role in a major motion picture.  The character says–you guessed it–three words.  She speaks to the lead character, then he moves on.  A very short scene.  But should I get it, I’m pretty sure I’d earn the Screen Actor’s Guild day player rate, which according to their site is currently $782.  And I’d be eligible to join SAG, earn residuals, etc.

The saying goes, “There are no small parts, only small actors.”  If you ascribe to this theory, then every role is important, including those who speak a few lines and extras.  First, extras create essential atmosphere: Imagine the hero walking down Michigan Avenue…with no crowd.  You’d immediately assume there’d been an apocolypse, or that it was very early on a Sunday morning.  The scene wouldn’t feel  or look right without a bunch of appropriately dressed and appropriately milling about tourists, shoppers and businesspeople. 

Second, extras can screw up a shot.  Walking patterns, sometimes very complex, are established during rehearsals.  Extras are expected to do the same thing for every take…partly so everyone knows what everyone else is doing, and partly for continuity and to match up shots.  You are expected to reset yourself and any props for each take.  I recently did an office packing scene for a Fox pilot…and every time we had to take out all the papers and files we’d put into boxes (with the director calling out, “pack faster”) so we could pack them again.  Without all of our packing and unpacking, the scene wouldn’t work.  If an extra is supposed to cross in front of a moving camera or pass by a star but is a few steps late or early, he might run into a cord-carrying grip, the camera or the star, necessitating another take.  And on a movie set, time is money. 

If you’re seated next to a star, say, in a corporate meeting or at a wedding, you might also end up with more screen time than the person playing that three-word speaking role.  Yet non-union extras in Chicago are currently paid $65/8 hrs, then time and a half not counting lunch, or sometimes $100 for 12 hours.  I hear a small increase may be in the offing.  But recently I’ve also come across major projects that expect extras to work for free.

Extras in LA and NY can earn their SAG cards by working 3 SAG projects.  Not in Chicago.  If I have a line, I can put it on my resume.  Extra work does not count and in fact can be looked down on…even if the director directs you personally.  I’d think that watching major stars and directors in action, which to me is like taking a master class, would at least show agents you’re learning your craft, that you’ve spent time on movie sets and so presumably are familiar with how to behave.  You understand the jargon.  I’ve been mere feet from directors including Clint Eastwood, Michael Mann and stars including Johnny Depp.  I’ve been directed by Ron Howard and Sam Raimi, for example. 

So…I’m not quite sure why an actor gets respect and a lot more money for saying three little words to a star, but not for being one of a few extras near a star.  Thoughts?

While working in corporate America, I was fortunate to have a job that was pretty much 9 to 5. Sometimes I’d take home the stress of waiting for clients to sign their contracts, think I should have followed up with one more contact or scheduled one more meeting. But mostly I was able to leave work in the office and enjoy my evenings and weekends. Vacation days were even better–ah, the joy of getting paid not to work.

But for the Gainfully Unemployed, for the freelancer, there’s always more work to do. So it’s hard to decide when to take a break, when to relax…if you even can. Authors/writers can always produce another page, enter another contest, send out another query. Performers/freelancers/those starting businesses can always do one more thing to market themselves and their services. When you have an actual deadline– lines to learn for an audition or performance, an agent/editor waiting for timely revisions– letting go of the pressure to keep plugging away can be difficult. Especially if you don’t have a lot of paying projects coming up.  The drive to do as much as you possibly can to further your success can be relentless.

Setting goals helps: If I cross X items off my list and do Y number of proactive things today, then I can reward myself with Z. I like to exceed goals, not just meet them. And how do you know your goals are ambitious enough in the first place, that you’re not letting yourself off easy? Often there’s a nagging voice in my head urging me to do X + 1 or Y +2. It says, “If you’re not in it, you can’t win it.” And, “Just put one more iron in that fire.” The voice does not say, “You’ve worked hard today…you deserve some time off.”

On the other hand, I know that everyone needs to refill the well, have some down time, hang out with family and friends. I also believe that the creative subconscious works best when we’re not thinking or focusing the project at hand…perhaps why people say they get good ideas in the shower. Why many (including me) keep a pen and paper in every room…to jot down an inspiration, preserve that “aha!” moment before it floats out of our minds.

When do you take a break? And when you do, can you truly enjoy it?