Sunday afternoon: As previously reported, I’m in a one act play. The role: the mother of a teenager who commits suicide. The director had seen me do a monologue while auditioning for a theatre festival (which I didn’t get cast in) and called to offer me the part. He says I’m not reaching the depths of despair he wants for my short scene near the end of the play and that I’m self conscious on stage. Unfortunately, now I feel even more self conscious.
Just as a lawyer doesn’t have to know how to practice every type of law to succeed, an actress doesn’t have to be skilled in every type of role. I never aspired to be a dramatic actress, but agreed to do this part to step outside my comfort zone. Well. Some comfort zones exist for a reason.
Of course I want to do well. I made a commitment, even tho I’m not getting paid. I don’t want to be the weakest link in the cast and not match the emotional levels reached by my fellow actors.
Sunday night: a friend asked me to record female voices for an animated Web site, for pay. I had to sing three part harmony with myself and create three different characters on the fly….no script in advance. This was challenging but also lots of fun.
After each take, when he told me what he wanted, I knew exactly what he meant and knew I could do it. And I did.
Lightbulb moment: Is that the difference, knowing I can succeed at the VO work even as I doubt I can do the serious drama?
If so, how do I convince myself I can also succeed in the play?