My special skill happens to be talking fast. REALLY fast. Fast enough to be on America’s Funniest People, where the head writer of an annual musical revue I was in happened to me and has found a way to incorporate a fast talking bit for many years since. Night after night, before hundreds of people, I’ve done a high speed radio traffic report, a voice mail system, 101 dull motions, summarized the millenium, and last December went over the new Medicare Part B plan. In about a minute.
Most recently, the outgoing president of the Chicago Bar Association asked me to read the list of all the people he wanted to thank but wouldn’t have time to if he did it. The day before the luncheon, he e-mailed me 118 names. Clearly I’ll do a lot for a free lunch. Fortunately I was familiar with many of those on his list.
Little did I know there’d be 500 people attending the event in a huge ballroom, or that there’d be assigned seating and I’d be right in front of the head table. After the president introduced, I made my way to the microphone. I got my first laugh by saying “this won’t take long” and holding up the 5-page-list I’d taped together.
As usual, I received laughter, huge applause and many compliments from luminaries of the bench and bar. A chief judge wished I could do his motion call and make his days go faster.
Now I just need to find a way to earn money with my special skill.