Closure

While I like having many irons in the fire, sometimes it’s nice to get closure. Whatever we’ve applied for, whether it’s a job or graduate school or health insurance, knowing ‘yes’ or ‘no’ allows you to take next steps.

I’m not, however, talking about the closure that comes as a form e-rejection less than an hour after querying an agent. I can’t help but think it’s just an auto-responder, not from a person who actually read my materials.

When I audition, the only way I know I didn’t get the part is if the shoot date passes without word. Few and far between are actual rejections, or “Thanks, but no thanks,” e-mails/calls, which would be particularly helpful if the job is out of town. Because not only are you holding open the shoot date, you’ll probably need to be available the night before and the morning after to get there and back.

And even rarer is finding out if they at least liked your audition. If I knew I was in the top three, I’d know I was in the ballpark and feel better about not getting the gig. Even learning I was in the bottom three would be informative, because I’d know I’d need to work harder/get help with auditioning with that type of copy, etc.

Sometimes I fear my online queries and auditions vanish into the ether of the Internet. But then, poof, I’ll get an email saying I booked a job. On the other hand, the last one I got said the final script would arrive late June. Is it late June yet?

With manuscript submissions, it could take months or years to hear. In May I followed up with an agent who had requested a full manuscript a year ago and asked if she was still interested. She responded that she is, but she’s just way behind. Six more weeks have passed without word.

Waiting is stressful because we can’t really do much to move the process along. So we’re encouraged to let our impatience go, to roll off like water on a duck’s back, and move on. Keep writing, keep auditioning, keep sending out that resume. But the hope, the ‘what if’,’ lingers in the back of our minds. Getting “the call” that I’d sold a book or another agent wanted to represent me would mean my years of writing and submitting were paying off. Getting that big on camera job or a new VO client would be great for my career and pocketbook.

So it’s hard not to wonder, “Is today the day I’ll get great news?” Or at least a little closure.