Since I started writing with purpose (with the goal of completing manuscripts, not merely writing a few pages here and there) when I got my first laptop in 1994, since I joined Romance Writers of America and attended my first conference in 1996, my dream has been to publish with a traditional publisher.

 My heart lifted each time I got a request from an agent or editor, then sank a bit each time I received one of what’s now hundreds of rejections for the 12 fiction (and one non-fic) manuscripts I completed, some even for partials after industry professionals expressed interest via queries or appointments.
I kept writing and submitting through many ups and downs. I gave workshops on persistence, including one with Jennifer Greene after we discussed across the airplane aisle on the way to a national conference whether it was just as hard to sell your 50th book as it was to sell your first. 

I’ve even been rejected in person, more than once. An editor talked with me in the lobby for a long time at a conference, basically to deliver the news that she liked the latest project I’d sent but didn’t love it. And that that was the hardest rejection to give, because she couldn’t tell me what to change. After she left, friends were eager to hear what she’d said. Because in our experience, editors didn’t spend that much time with an author unless she/he brought some sort of good news or wanted to discuss a project in depth.

I’ve received more than a dozen revision letters from assorted editors and agents for assorted manuscripts. I made the requested changes, but they didn’t love them enough. One ms won a national contest, a different one was runner up in another. Five more manuscripts placed in or won a bunch of chapter contests.

Despite so many “close-but-no-cigar” moments, many friends got published, and I kept believing I could, too.

I know many authors are doing well or very well via self-publishing and also enjoy the freedom. A few even walked away from traditional publisher contracts, while others chose “hybrid” publishing…some traditional, some self.
After so much time, effort and money, it’s difficult to let go of my traditional publishing dream. I wanted to see an actual publisher’s name/logo on the spine of at least one of my books so much it brings tears to my eyes even now that I won’t. I wanted to have an editor on my team…not a freelance editor I had to hire, but one who paid for my work and wanted to help make it better.

It’s less than two weeks until my books officially release on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. As I bid farewell to a 20-year dream, I’m looking forward to having my books on sale at long last. And work toward another goal, to join PAN, RWA’s published author network. Will I earn enough to meet RWA’s requirement of $5,000 in the form of earnings for a Self-Published novel or novella that meets the definition of Romance Fiction? Stay tuned….

I’m getting ready to self-publish in January.


While part of me is excited, I confess another part had hoped to begin with traditional, aka New York, publishing. I wanted an actual publisher’s name on the spine, like Avon. I came close many times, in the form of revision letters different editors at different publishers sent for different manuscripts. But given the rapidly changing market, I decided to move ahead with self-publishing for some projects, and may continue to pursue New York with others. I’d read several books and taken several workshops on self-publishing, yet each step in the process was a challenge for me, reminding me of killing cockroaches. Each time I thought I had it all figured out, I’d find something else I needed to learn about and incorporate.

From working with a designer on my covers to finding a copy editor to writing the front and back matter, I researched options and best practices. If a step seemed particularly frustrating, I admit to putting it off. To make sure I moved forward, I chose a release date: January 2015. I posted on Facebook to put the goal in writing.

Now I’m preparing the manuscripts to send to a formatter. I’m working on some pre-release publicity ideas and revising the next manuscript. When they’re formatted, I have to figure out how to upload them to the various sites.

I know some authors who are doing very well with self-publishing, while others aren’t. Will my time, effort, and expenses for services I farmed out pay off? I sure hope so.

Time will tell.

I first wrote on the topic of self-production here, because I’d heard (and keep hearing) industry professionals and fellow actors say that’s one way to do the kind of work you want to do, get it out there and get noticed. The number of self-produced projects, from web series to comedy shorts to films, has exploded since then. We keep hearing that this or that video has gone viral, leading to this or that deal or appearances on talk shows, but how many languish in obscurity?

More and more colleagues post on social media about projects they’ve created. Some they’d like shared. Others issue requests for crowd funding. I’ve had roles in a couple of web series, with another coming up later this month and a small role in a music video next month.

Many questions come to mind.  Are these projects generating results worthy of the time and effort put in by the production team, cast and crew?  Is the result even good?  Are producers seeking material for their reels, or to grow an audience?  Do they hope someone will see their work and offer more?  Are views going up or down as each episode is added?  Are friends, family and colleagues still willing to share each new video, or are they getting burned out by the frequency of requests?  Many articles have been written about what makes something go viral. Will any of these projects?

The first episode of one web series I worked on has over 7,000 views in around a year. The second, which I had a small role in, has just over 3,000. This series has won assorted awards…yet that success hasn’t seemed to increase viewership. For another, the first episode scored over 18,000 views in four months. The episode I’m in has almost 6,000 views to date.

Another friend has had several videos that have done well on Funny or Die, a well-regarded site. There’s also a web series channel. I have enough of a challenge keeping up with TV series I’d like to watch.  How can viewers keep up?

With a musician colleague, a music producer and a fellow actor friend who’s also done some videography, I’m working on my first self-produced piece. I collected info on hiring people to do an actual music video shoot with a budget and a small crew, but we decided to give it a shot (pun intended) on a shoestring first. And had a wonderful, fun recording and video session yesterday. After adding more musicians, a lot of editing and post-production, will it all sync up and come together the way we hope, or will this turn into a dry run for a larger production? Once we put it online, will our friends share, will people watch?  If they do, will they like it?  Can lottery dreams of going viral come true?  Stay tuned.

I started this blog years ago because friends kept asking how I was going to spend my time after leaving my lucrative day job to pursue acting. I think they thought I was going to watch Oprah and get manicures. Maybe they didn’t think I could get enough paying work.

In the days before FB and social media were all the rage, this seemed like a good way to keep them informed.  I didn’t try to grow readership or become known as a blogger. For years, I blogged every Thursday like clockwork. Now I think I’ve covered most of the issues I wanted to discuss.

I’m managing a career as a full-time freelancer…and spend my business days auditioning, self-marketing, and doing paying VO and on-camera jobs and the very occasional print shoot. I work via talent agents for big gigs, such as national TV commercials, and have acquired some private clients, mostly for technical and medical narration. I sell the occasional article. I give a few workshops and act in some films and web series.

The business can be random. Some weeks (fortunately, not that many) I might have no incoming auditions (though I can always find something to self-submit to) or jobs, others I’m running to and fro. Of course things slow down for the holidays, which gives me time to catch up on other things. 

I’ve been put on hold for projects, then released. An audition might get cancelled. On the other hand, an audition or even a booking might pop up on short notice. A client might pay more to use something I did for a longer period of time. I’m always grateful for direct bookings (meaning I don’t have to audition, someone just hires me). 

I used to spend more time and effort writing manuscripts and trying to get them published than I did this year, though I still have interest in two manuscripts. Seriously considering self-publishing next year.

Can I continue on this path, or will I have to return to Gainful Employment? Time will tell. 

I’ll continue to post every so often. Or perhaps more often if I do self-publish or sell and find that path worth documenting.

Hoping for a great and rewarding 2014.

Much has been made this year of the once in a many lifetime confluence of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving.

I’m not usually big on the holidays because of all of the preparation for so little actual dining time, resulting in so much cleanup.  I was glad that my mom decided to go to a restaurant for the first time.  She chose a buffet at a popular restaurant near her so we could go to her place after we ate, light candles and open gifts for kids only.

The vast repast included turkey, carved sirloin and ham my brother couldn’t stop raving about. Crab cakes and amazing grilled salmon for seafood lovers, butternut squash ravioli for vegetarians. Sides included several kinds of soup, 3 kinds of deviled eggs, several salad options, delicious Brussels sprouts, crusty baked mac ‘n cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing (not as good as my mom’s IMO and too salty), sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. Dessert was several kinds of cookies, delicious cheesecake and very pumpkiny pumpkin chiffon pie.  We all went around the table and said what we were thankful for.  The only downside: no leftovers.

It did seem a little less homey to eat out and then gather at my mom’s (possibly the first time ever with no food except for a fruit platter), but IMO worth it because of all of the saved time and effort. 

My mom had two menorahs prepared with candles so my niece and nephew could each light one. We sang the blessing. The kids enjoyed opening their gifts, even though my mom and I got my nephew one of the same books.  He looked forward to returning one and choosing another gift.

Then my mom pulled out something from her freezer.  She’d made our favorite stuffing and wrapped portions in foil for us to take home. The thoughtful gesture, knowing that stuffing and leftovers awaited restored any missing joie de vivre.

There are many different kinds of holidays and people to share them with. The sense of family and celebration comes from within.

As a gainfully self-employed person, my current insurance plan was one of those canceled because of the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare. I wanted to believe the ACA was a good thing for me and America. That I could still get good coverage, and save money.

Hearing about all of the problems rolling out the federal marketplace site kept me from hopping onto the  site right away. But my current insurer set an end of November deadline for choosing a new plan through it….

So earlier this week I went to the federal marketplace site and painstakingly typed in all of the requested info for my application, feeling a bit odd as I wondered about the safety of my and other Americans’ data. And then when I went to register…poof. I got an error message that said to try again later. I called a broker (recommended by a friend) who prefers BCBS plans, and got his take on the whole process.  Even after all I’ve read and heard, I wasn’t aware until talking to him that I could just buy private insurance and bypass the marketplace. If I decide to do that, I’ll have to see if there’s a way to unregister?

I have 2 undergrad and 2 graduate degrees and passed the IL bar exam, yet I can’t seem to grasp the ins and outs of all of the different plans or what the best approach for me is despite all of the information out there. It looks like I’ll pay a lower monthly premium than I do now, but  my deductible will be nearly twice as high and I won’t have as much 100% coverage, and, depending on the plan, might have some copays, unless I go with an HSA plan…which means more paperwork and things to figure out. Hope I stay healthy!

The special Aetna site won’t let me log in, and says to call a certain 888 number. The wait was 30 minutes. I called back, deciding to suck it up and wait. The line was busy. I’ll try again later.

So far, this has been a frustrating process…and despite spending several hours reading, clicking, entering and browsing, I don’t have a new plan ready to go, nor am I sure if I want to be in or out of the marketplace.

I hope the process is going more smoothly for others….