The older I get, the more easily frustrated I seem to get. I think it’s because I don’t want to waste time and do want some control over how I spend it. I’m glad that I’m finding ways to not let things get to me.

–When I need information from a client, colleague or friend before I can move forward on something with an impending deadline. I don’t want to nag, but do want what I need with sufficient leeway so I’m not scrambling at the last minute. I truly appreciate those who do what they say they will, when they say they’ll do it. Those who respect other people’s time by being on time. Those who follow through.

–Recently I’ve put a couple of irons in the fire that seemed like good ideas, but didn’t pay off or took longer than I’d anticipated. Of course not everything works out the way we’d like; I’m not dwelling on small setbacks, am learning what I can and moving on to the next iron.

–Tackling unpleasant tasks, like taxes. When you’re a Gainfully Unemployed, you can work for numerous places in the course of a year. So instead of having one 1099, I have a bunch. Even though I have an accountant, there’s a lot of prep work and tedious math.

–Poor customer service. Those automated voice people are so annoying!!! I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Please try again. And when you finally reach a human, you often have to repeat details you’ve provided. You’re lucky if you can get one who can actually resolve your issue.

–Waiting…at restaurants. If a place I want to go that I know is crowded won’t take reservations, I’ll go somewhere else. Some people don’t mind hanging out at the bar (or at some Chicago hotspots, practically standing on top of those already eating) waiting for a table, but I’d prefer to eat at a less popular time.

How do you deal with frustration? Here’s to focusing on good experiences and taking the frustrating ones in stride.

Life of Excellence

Associated Content

WikiHow

Deciding what kind of new computer to buy can be overwhelming. I know I want speed, ease of use and reliability. But there are so many kinds, so many options, so many ways to customize that even after making myself dizzy reading reviews and taking questionnaires about how I use a computer, I still don’t know what to buy.

Mac vs. PC? We’ve all seen the commercials slamming PCs and touting Macs. Many friends also rave about Macs, but I’ve been using one a couple of days a week and still don’t get what all the hoopla is about. And the way the programs zoom larger and smaller when you mouse over them makes me a little seasick.  One benefit is supposed to be fewer viruses, but I (knock wood) haven’t had any trouble with any of my PCs.

Desktop (all-in-one or tower), laptop or netbook? Laptops of any size just aren’t ergonomic enough IMO as a primary computer because the keyboard is too close to the monitor. They’re great for taking notes during interviews, working at a friend’s place or in a coffee shop.  But it’s hard to maintain good posture or proper arm and wrist position all day every day on a laptop.  Plus a bigger monitor is useful when working on more than one document at a time and when doing audio projects. The all-in-ones look cool, take up less space and have fewer cords. A touchscreen would be fun…
Memory and hard drives-how much is enough? GB, RAM, cores, speed, storage…enough acronyms and definitions to boggle the mind. Intel, AMD…sigh.

Brand: I’ve been a Dell fan. But bopping around review sites encourages me to at least consider HP, Asus, Sony and/or Lenovo.

Peripherals: The base price of many PCs seems quite reasonable. But then you start adding in all the other stuff you want…a larger monitor (I know I want one that’s bigger than 19″, which I currently have, but how big? Do I really need a TV tuner, too?), Microsoft Office. How important are better speakers? How will I know until I play music on the new PC? Is buying these items with my PC easier on the wallet? Maybe I should spend more time researching a la carte prices.  I should also check for any discounts, such as AAA.

Where to buy? Online at the manufacturer’s site, Amazon or somewhere like Newegg.com?  Some sites offer buying assistance via live chat.  Would an in-store purchase be easier?

Back to the drawing board…any suggestions?

eHow: How to Buy a Computer

About.com: What Computer Should I Buy?

wikiHow: How to Buy a New Computer

No, that’s not a typo. I don’t mean fReelancing, which I’ve decided can imply that one is either willing or expected to work for free. I mean feelancing; independent contractors deserve fair pay for their skills and products. The need for the Gainfully Unemployed to set competitive rates to secure work can lead us to go too low, fearing we’ll lose the job, or too high, perhaps because we’re overconfident or not up to speed on the going rates in our industries.

We might get asked to do a project for free, or at a pennies per hour rate, as a trial. Or because of anticipated volume of work, we’re expected to agree to a far lower rate than usual. Offering discounts to a good client is one thing. Undervaluing your time/skill is quite another.

Sometimes we take a project that seems fairly priced, but, like those 1 credit college courses that required more work than a 3 credit course, take more time/effort/frustration than expected, so our rate per hour is less than anticipated. Hopefully there’s still something to learn and some benefit received from those experiences.

For on camera and VO talent, usage is another payment issue. You may get a fair or even great hourly rate for the shoot, but instead of a reasonable buyout period (such as 1 year, trade use only), the client wants use in perpetuity…either in a specific medium like the Internet or even all media known or unknown.

The client benefits from unlimited access to your images without paying you a reasonable sum for that privilege. You, on the other hand, may be prevented from booking any other gigs in that product category…because you have a competing ad out there. Let’s say you do an unlimited usage print job for XYZ coffee. The next time you audition for a coffee– or maybe even a beverage– print or on camera job that could very likely pay more than the job you did and include a buyout, you’ll very likely have to list your conflicts. So I’ve turned down a couple of auditions because I’m just not comfortable closing myself off to future work. My goal is to build a career, not close myself off from opportunities.

Other times we may call ourselves feelancers, but aren’t bringing in any clients, jobs or revenue. Or we’re not getting paid what we’re worth. How long are you willing to pursue a business where your hourly rate averages out to minimum wage or less? Or when what you think is diligent pursuit of clients yields some interest in the form of meetings or discussions, but no new business?

Feelancing/owning your own business is about bringing in reasonable fees.

This week Chicago was socked with its 3rd biggest snowstorm…20.2″.  Schools and many offices closed, the airports basically shut down, Brookfield Zoo closed for the 2nd time in 77 years, a rehearsal and audition I had were canceled, hundreds of commuters were stranded on Lake Shore Drive, huge snow drifts and 40+ mph wind gusts kept many from shoveling out their cars, the city advised residents not to drive, etc. 

But my current place of business remained open.  Would venturing out in the Blizzard of 2011 be foolhardy, or be honoring my commitment, being reliable?  Would I feel intrepid if I went or like a wimp if I didn’t?  Was staying home or going in the right thing to do?

I solicited advice.  I watched the morning news and assessed the situation.  CTA buses were running.  I was going in.

Garbed in study boots, snowpants and my most weather-proof down coat, I ventured forth.  The journey didn’t begin auspiciously: drifts blocked the door.  Up the stairs and down another set I went.  Success.  The route to the bus required traversing a side street piled so high with snow it looked like something out of a movie.  Some cars were buried so deep you could only see the tops.  I had to slog through thigh-high drifts, which was a bit frightening.  I considered turning back to cozy safety, but pressed on.  And only saw two other people with their dog.  Finally I made it to the bus stop.  Only a few other hardy souls were out and about, walking in the street because the sidewalks were too snowy.  Only a few cars passed.  Just one taxi, with a passenger.  How many who stayed home were supposed to go to work, but either didn’t or absolutely couldn’t?     

I ducked into an building alcove to await the bus.  It arrived, fortunately half-empty.  The main street had clearly been plowed, though more snow was accumulating.  Because hardly anyone was going to work, I reached my destination quickly.  Shortly after I got there, the weather took a downturn…heavy snow, strong gusts. 

But I’d made it in, and on time.  The people I work for were very happy. 

Hindsight shows I did do the right thing.  Of course, at the time decision-making is required, we just have to weigh our options and go with our gut feelings.

Pretty much everyone gets colds now and again. Our lives are less pleasant as we snorfle and sneeze. But usually they move on in a few days and so do we.

Cutting a wide swath now seems to be an Uncommon Cold. It lingers much longer and makes many of us feel sicker. I think I know where I got mine, despite liberal application of Lysol wipes on items used by the UC harborer and keeping as much distance as possible in close quarters.

I suffered from unrelievable congestion and also laryngitis, the bane of an actor’s existence. Many victims also have coughs and/or sore throats.

I tried: chicken soup, Vitamin C, tea/honey, assorted over the counter cold meds, Zicam, the neti pot (ew), resting, even wearing a scarf. All to no avail. Many friends/family offered to bring me supplies, but we couldn’t think of additional remedies. The cold would make its way through my system as it pleased.

Because I had several upcoming on camera and VO auditions, a VO narration job for a major retailer and so I wouldn’t pass this on, I stayed home, canceled many social events and missed a day of my internship at a casting agency. To save my voice, I communicated via text/email and barely talked on the phone.

I finally felt a bit better six days after the UC hit.  I went to my internship and fortunately was given a computer assignment so I didn’t have to talk much. At an on camera audition, I thought I sounded scratchy and stuffed up, but the agent thought I sounded ok. I went to chorus rehearsal and followed along instead of singing so I could hear the director’s notes and become more familiar with the complicated piece we’re working on while saving my voice.

Sick people in small spaces usually lead to more sick people, whether it’s co-workers, family members, or friends. So if you’re sick, please stay away as much as you can so you can rest and not infect other people. However, they say you can be contagious a couple of days before symptoms appear…

For info on contagion and remedies:

Mayo Clinic

emedtv.com
suite101.com

Do you often make a decision, then question whether you made a good one? Do you dwell on regret, talk yourself into believing you made the right choice, or see if you can retrace your steps, undo them and decide differently?  Or do you waffle and see-saw for weeks before taking any action?

Though I’m thinking about major life choices like changing jobs, moving, or whether or not to stay in or start any kind of relationship from business to personal, I’ll use the example of buying a new pair of glasses.

I didn’t make a snap decision, but did my research. I visited a handful of shops among the myriads. Then I brought a friend to two places to help me choose. I must’ve tried on over a hundred pairs, from over the top funky to boring, in all price ranges.

I finally settled on a frame with my friend’s and the opticianista’s (that’s what it says on her card) assistance and encouragement. Given my prescription, the thin lenses with no-scratch, UV coating, etc., cost quite a bit. In the moment, I thought I’d found what I was looking for. Mission accomplished!  And another item checked off my to do list.

But when I went to pick them up a week or so later, I wasn’t quite as pleased. I wanted my new glasses to give the message: this person is creative, fun and interesting. The message I saw instead: weird and quirky, but not in a good way. I didn’t think they were all that flattering, either…the tortoiseshell was darker than I remembered and makes me look a little Harry Potter-ish. But I hadn’t gone to Lenscrafters, which offers a 90-day unconditional satisfaction guarantee (I bought my last pair there, though overall I found their frames a bit too traditional for my taste). I’m still investigating my limited options.

I’m going to focus on decisions I’ve made I know were and are good, not suffer too many regrets, and see if I can learn anything from this experience.

How do you resolve decisions you’re not happy that you made?

More info:

5 Tips to Feel at Ease with Decisions

5 Ways to Stop Second-Guessing

How to Stop Second-Guessing Decisions

Break the Curse of Second-Guessing

Chicago is home to many things…from deep dish pizza to amazing restaurants, museums, architecture and theatre. You may not know that Chicago is also home to Sketchfest, the largest sketch comedy festival in the country. Over 8 days, more than 120 groups perform. Often there are three simultaneous shows. It’s popular with attendees and the media.

For several years, I’ve contributed behind the scenes, doing the program (including graphics, fake ads and appropriate Bible quotes) for one group: Best Church of God. This year, I’m also performing…with Funny Bones.

FB is an improv troupe that performs at hospitals for sick children, their caregivers and staff. (It’s heartbreaking to see kids with IVs in their arms or those who are attached to machines, yet rewarding and fun to bring smiles to their faces with our antics or as they participate in our games.) For Sketchfest, we put together a written show featuring some of our improvisers and those from FB New Orleans.

What it takes to put on one 35 minute performance…
–Sketches had to be written and agreed upon. There was at least one writers’ meeting plus however long it took to complete the sketches.
–Several two hour rehearsals, one four hour rehearsal, and a tech rehearsal on the stage the day of the show.
–We supplied our own props and costumes (from our closets, borrowed from friends/family or purchased on the cheap. Actors never know what they might need to wear in a show, so I’ve kept a lot of odd bits and pieces, just in case. Which came in handy: I needed a ninja costume, and fortunately had a perfect maroon kung fu-ish pajama/lounging set my great aunt had given me more than 10 years ago–who knows how long she had it; another ninja had two cheongsams.)
–FB’s founder interviewed a few of us and some kids answering zany questions and created several short videos to intersperse between our scenes.
–Our fearless leaders spent time making arrangements with Sketchfest and other decisions.
–However long each of us needed to learn our lines.

We don’t get paid, but there’s one great perk: a pass allowing us to see any other show that isn’t sold out.

Some people may be reluctant to return to work after the holidays (perhaps those who received paid vacation days). Not me. While I enjoyed the slowdown, attended a variety of fun social events and actually read several books (which I haven’t made time to do in awhile), when my phone isn’t ringing or e-mail isn’t buzzing with auditions and/or jobs, I confess to getting a bit apprehensive.

As with the cliches of “out of sight out, of mind” or “don’t call, us we’ll call you,” I worry that the supply of opportunities I’ve been fortunate to receive has for some reason dried up. Could be anything from the state of the economy to no work at this precise moment for my type to being submitted by an agent but the client goes in a different direction….there’s no way to know. There’s also very little I can do about it, aside from keeping in touch with industry contacts and making new ones. And of course, booking jobs…because work seems to beget work.

Yes, I know that worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of it’s troubles, it empties today of strength. Yes, I have other things to do and think about. But the nagging thought “what if I don’t get any more work?” still surfaced now and again as I sipped champagne or caught up with friends. It’s just harder for some of us to trust the universe to provide or stay convinced that our exisiting product portfolio will keep us in the lineup for future projects.

So it’s a relief that already this week I’ve had a VO audition, have an on camera one tomorrow and another next Tuesday, and have my first narration job to record. The opportunities are still rolling in. Whew.

New Year’s resolution: Let it go. Control the things I can and not worry about those I can’t. Etc.

There are times when people will treat us badly or try to take advantage of us. This can start at an early age…maybe a kid or sibling knocks over your sand castle just for spite or you get teased in school. (The impact of bullying and how to prevent or stop it has become a very popular topic.) Maybe your teenager picks a fight, someone you’re dating may lie or cheat, someone who works for you might embezzle, someone may offer a freelancer a rate he/she knows is too low, a contractor you hire might try to rip you off, someone takes the parking space you’ve been waiting for…the list goes on and on.

People who do cruel or horrible things or commit crimes take the low road. Why? Maybe they have a personality disorder such as narcissism with a sense of entitlement; maybe they think they’ll feel better about themselves if they can make others feel bad. In reality, they’re just making themselves look bad or even pathetic.

Then there’s the Golden Rule…treat others the way you’d like them to treat you. Does a Low Roader who, say, throws worms in a kid’s hair really want worms smashed in his hair? How can Low Roaders look themselves in the mirror or sleep at night? How can they maintain self-respect?

The temptation to respond in kind, to follow the misbehavior low road by retaliating, can be strong. An eye for an eye, and all that. Or is it better to turn the other cheek?

Taking the high road can be difficult. You can have personal integrity, or sink to the Low Roader’s level. You can react in the moment out of frustration/anger/hurt, etc., or believe that karma exists and will catch up with the Low Roader in the near future. Or you can hope some Low Roaders will eventually realize the error of their ways, seek help if they need it and join those who travel the high road.

eHow-How to take the High Road

NYDailyNews.com-Take the High Road, a path to self-respect

Sometimes you have so many options when making a decision that doing nothing seems easier. It’s certainly less scary. But not making a decision when you know you need to, or stagnating, is actually a decision in itself. Maybe there’s no obvious best or right choice. Maybe you’re worried about making a mistake, or fear change in general. The start of a new year is a good time to revisit choices you’ve been considering or need to make.

Some issues I need to decide:
–Updating office technology: My PC is old (by current standards) and has never been the same since the McAfee automatic update debacle. As exciting as having a new PC is, there’s also a lot of work/time involved transferring data, loading software and setting it up….I get easily frustrated if instructions don’t work as expected and I have to troubleshoot. My laser printer is 10 years old and has been screaming like a banshee. What brand and kind do I buy, or do I go for an all-in-one to replace the aging one I have? Searching for options and deals on the Internet makes me dizzy.
–Do I keep pursuing things that haven’t yielded hoped for results? For me, that’s selling a book. Should I keep sending out manuscripts, and if so, which ones where? Write another? Or should I change my approach, and if so, to what? Or should I focus my efforts on areas where I’ve had more success?
–There’s debate about how many agents an actor should have. Some say “a few,” others “as many as you can get.” Do I stay with the ones I have, or add more if possible and then drop others, or discuss going exclusive? Some casting directors say talent should be exclusive. Would an exclusive agent work hard enough on my behalf to make up for opportunities I’d miss by not having access to agencies’ private client auditions? Assuming agents were interested :-), how would I choose? There are so many factors to weigh…
–Updating my commercial and narration demos. Which demo producer will help me get the best, most marketable sound? Which copy selections do I use to show enough yet not too much range?

What’s working in your life and what isn’t? Consider making a list of the decisions you need to make…career, home management, relationships, how you spend your time. Prioritize the list. If necessary, break each decision into steps, such as completing research or asking for advice, and set deadlines for completion. Isn’t it time to move forward instead of standing still? Someday is now.

How to Enhance Your Decision Making Skills

Demystifying Decision Making