Ruth Kaufman - Award-Winning Author and Romance Writer

Ruth Kaufman is the author of My Life as a Star, My Life as an Extra, My Once & Future Love, The Bride Tournament, Follow Your Heart, At His Command and other books.

Social Media: Where & When

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When are we spending too much time with social media? What are the tipping points for how many sites we need to join, and how often to check them? Am I missing something by not joining, say Google+? How would a Tumblr or Pinterest account help me?

I keep hearing how this or that friend connected with this or that potential client/literary agent/useful contact via Twitter or LinkedIn. 

I still find Twitter a bit confusing.  Who to follow?  Some people tweet so frequently.  How do I keep up, and separate the wheat from the chaff?

There are social media manager services, such as HootSuite (another product to learn), some of which offer free or paid plans. (And companies are hiring SMMs.) 

So now I’m spending time figuring out which sites I want to be on and effective use strategies.

How many sites:

http://connektmarketing.com/

How much time to spend:

socialmediatoday.com

blog.verticalresponse.com

 

Are you saving enough for retirement?

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Numerous articles say that many people aren’t saving enough for retirement (for example, Huffington Post, CNNMoney and SmartMoney).  I probably know some of them: actors and other feelancers who live month to month, parents who set aside money for their kids’ college funds instead of their own futures, people who are between jobs, who lost their pensions or are earning less than they used to so they aren’t contributing as much to their 401Ks. 

How do you know if you’ll have enough to retire comfortably?  Information and calculators abound, such as AARP’s, msn MONEY’s  and Kiplinger’s. But some people don’t want to know.  They don’t want to be scared or despair over how they’ll possibly catch up, so they don’t do the math. Maybe they think it’ll all magically work out, somehow. 

The company I worked for for 13 years recently offered a one-time opportunity to take a lump sum pension payment (minus taxes and an early withdrawal penalty, or roll it into an IRA), start receiving a monthly payment, or do nothing and wait until 65 for the original pension.  I rans some numbers, checked with a few friends, did research, talked to financial advisors. But there are too many variables to be sure I’m making the right decision. What will the economy do in the next decades, including stocks and other investments, interest, inflation? How long will I live, and how long will I be able to or want to work? Only time will tell if I made the right decision.

The global economy has more impact on the American economy than in years past.  So many people are under water on their houses/condos.  So many retiring now have less to retire on than the previous generation.  Many cities, countries, individuals have greater debt.  Will there be enough jobs, enough spending by businesses and consumers to fuel the economy? 

Are you saving enough? Take the time and effort to figure it out. Knowledge is power.

Are you available?

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Steps taken before an actor books a job vary.  Sometimes there’s a direct booking, meaning you’re chosen from just your headshot and resume (and perhaps a viewing of your demo reel) or from your voiceover demo.  The vast majority of the time, there’s an audition and often a callback, especially for on-camera jobs. 

Most of the time, you don’t get it.  In fact, some acting teachers encourage you to go in with the mindset that you won’t, such as Michael Kostroff.  I’ve come across various ratios of auditions to bookings.  One in 25 isn’t uncommon.  Your callback ratio is very important too, as are the types of jobs you book, get called back for and who they’re for.   Also important is what happens after an audition/callback, even if you don’t ultimately book the job.

You could get put on hold or “on ice,” meaning you don’t have the job (yet?) but can’t accept any others on that day.  There’s also first refusal, meaning they’re interested but not ready to commit.  If you book another job for that day, you have contact the first job and give them the opportunity to book you or say no before you accept the second.  There’s also check avail (CA), which means they want to know if you’re available on a certain day…or days.  I’ve been getting more and more of these, which is both exciting and frustrating.

Exciting: My agent (and casting director, if one is involved) know the client is really interested, which means I’m on the right track.  I’ve made it to the final few. The agent has to contact me about the CA, so I’m staying top of mind.  It’s rewarding to be considered for a variety of opportunities and to get that close.

Frustrating:  There’s no way to know when I’ll find out if I get any of the jobs or not. And if I do get the gig(s), I don’t know when I’ll get the call time or location. Right now I’m on a check avail for a VO today (which I found out about around 4pm yesterday, after another check avail  yesterday afternoon for yesterday afternoon)  and another for Monday (found out on the 23rd after a first check avail received around 8pm on the 22ndfor the 25th or 26th). Whew.

I’m supposed to shoot a TV commercial next week (which I got called back for in late August and had three CAs for).  I know the day, but don’t know which of  two parts I got, when or where.  So making plans…for more auditions, other jobs, social engagements, even doctor or hair appointments, can be a challenge.  Thankfully I’m not a procrastinator, because I need to stay ahead of deadlines on other projects in case more auditions, callbacks and bookings pop up.  
 
Looking forward to finding out what’s next.
 
    

Keeping up & staying in touch

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Back in the day, if you read the daily newspaper and/or watched the evening news, you probably as well-informed as most Americans.  Editors decided what was important and relevant, and filtered out the rest.  Co-workers would gather at the water cooler to discuss  the day’s events.   

 
But now many people telecommute or freelance.  Social media sites, websites, blogs and videos continue to sprout like weeds, with zillions of column inches of material.  Some are choked by the crowded marketplace, others flourish.  It’s hard to know which sources you need and want to follow to stay in the know.     

We can all learn more about our craft and industry.  Learn to be better people and run our lives more efficiently.  Find interesting tidbits to share at parties or via our personal social media outlets.  But how much time are we willing to commit to keep up with the never-ending flow of information? 

There are too many blogs just for writers voiceover talents, actors and freelancers to stay on top of.  I hear that some literary agents and editors, producers and directors share informative tweets and/or blogs, and that Twitter can be a good way to network.  As can LinkedIn, Facebook groups, etc., etc.
 
So much of what we come across out there is fluff.  Do we really need to know what so-and-so ate for dinner?  Do we need any more binder comments?  Yet once we’ve read something, the information may stick in our heads.
 
Mashable and lifehacker are two sites that seem to offer more wheat than chaff on a variety of topics.  There are also aggregators such as Digg and Reddit that combine many sources and/or let you know what’s popular.  We could easily spend our entire day and night searching, typing and scrolling.
 
At some point, we need to stop scanning and absorbing information, no matter how fascinating, and get our work done.  We need to stop Facebook chatting, texting and emailing so we can set our keyboards, tablets and phones aside and see people.  In person.
 
 

Secondguessitis

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How many decisions do we make each day?  What to have for lunch, how to spend our time and who to spend it with, whether to say anything/what to say on social media, should we take on this client/project — from insignificant to significant, the list goes on and on. 

Some believe in the butterfly effect: that ripples from a small action can lead to major changes.  When we have to make choices, we may not know which direction to go.  Research and advice from trusted friends can help.  But sometimes, we suffer from secondguessitis.

 As an actor and writer, what to say and do at a given audition or how to satisfy requests in an editor’s revision letter from an editor can bring on symptoms of secondguessitis.  If we want the job/the book sale, we need to satisfy the buyers.  Figuring out what they really want can lead to overthinking. 

 Let’s say you’re attending a friend’s event but don’t know what to wear.  You show up in a carefully chosen outfit.  If the friend says, “You look great, aka, we love your attention to historical accuracy, but can you dress down, aka, have less historical detail?” you may choose to return to your closet and see what you can do to accommodate him/her.  How much are you willing to change?  
 
And what exactly does the request mean?  You may be able to ask your friend for specifics–should I change my earrings and/or my shoes?  But with a several hundred page manuscript, you can’t really ask the editor, “Which details did you like?”  It’s a challenge not to worry about cutting the ones they connected with or too many.  And an audition, if they say go bigger or smaller, we may wonder how much is too much.

We wouldn’t be at the audition or have the revision letter if we didn’t have something the talent buyer wanted to see and work with. But worrying too much about what he/she thinks can freeze creativity.  At some point, when making adjustments, we need to trust our instincts.  And bring to the table whatever it is makes us unique, whether or not our product resonates at that time with that client.    

Does everything happen for a reason?

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Many people believe everything happens for a reason.  Others say that to make themselves feel better when something goes wrong or they don’t get something they want, such a book sale, agent representation, new job, client or booking, or a house.  Sometimes we wonder what that reason is, or when or if we’ll find out.
 
There are quotes on the topic, a song, blog posts and assorted books about it.

Most of us know people who, for example, lost their jobs, got divorced or didn’t get into their first choice college.  They were unhappy at the time and perhaps uncertain about the future.  They might have tried to ease the sting with clichés such as “bad things happen to good people.”  But soon after, they found another job that paid more money and/or they liked better, or they met someone better to and for them, or loved the college they did get in.  In cases such as these, it’s easier to believe that EHfaR. 

Unpleasant things happen that we can’t control.  We can benefit and grow by dealing with them in healthy ways.  Other bad things happen because we don’t take steps to stop them.  We make bad choices.  Some trust in and rely on EHfaR when, for example, they fritter days away instead of working, even though they can’t afford to, or they drink, shop, or eat too much.  Because they frequently choose the high of instant gratification, of what is or seems like fun at the time, they may repeatedly pay the price with, perhaps, hangovers that impact their abilities to be productive the next day or more credit card debt…and more interest owed.  What’s the reason then?

Admitting that we’ve made mistakes or are engaging in self-destructive, self-defeating behaviors is difficult.  Accepting or finding and utilizing help can be even more challenging. 

We may never know the reason why good or bad things happen or people do what they do.  Maybe sometimes there isn’t one.   

Journey vs. Destination

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Some say life is about the journey, not the destination.  What do you think?

 Most authors don’t spend many, many hours hunched over keyboards researching, writing, editing and submitting manuscript(s) for only the joy of the process.  Most actors don’t hope for, prepare and learn lines for, and run around to auditions and callbacks only for the fun of “getting to act/practice our craft on a Thursday afternoon,” as Michael Kostroff, whoteaches Audition Psych 101, says. 
 
While I do enjoy the adventures along the way, I still want the satisfaction, validation, career and monetary benefits of getting where I’m going.  At the same time, it’s important and valuable to step back from the hustle bustle of everyday life to enjoy and be in the moment, and not think constantly about where you’re supposed to be or what you’re supposed to do next.  
 
When you’re an actress, author or feelancer, achieving goals often depends on others choosing you from among available options.  I don’t get to decide that today’s the day I’ll get to go to a great audition or that I’ll book a job, big or small.  Each opportunity to be at a major casting agency, each job is a reward in itself. 

But can it be enough?  I still want to book that national TV commercial.  Or if I get a request from an editor, to sell that manuscript.  The closer I get, the harder it is not to be frustrated and/or disappointed if I don’t. 
 
That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate each step along the way.  Callbacks are wonderful because they show me, the talent agent and the casting director that the client thinks I’m in the ballpark.  When I get a revision letter, I know the editor or agent is very interested.  Author friends say, “You’re almost there!”  
 
“Almost there” is good.  It isn’t “there.”  So I do more work to prepare for the callback.  To make the revisions.  I enjoy and learn from the process while I look forward to attaining my goals.             

Letting yourself down

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Most of us have seen people on reality TV shows crack under pressure at critical moments.  They’ve worked hard and waited a long time to get this far.  Their dreams are at hand.  But American Idolcontestants forget lyrics.  America’s Next Top Model aspirants can’t seem to take direction during photo shoots. 

Sometimes we just don’t do our best.  We may have carefully and thoroughly prepared.  We think we’re ready to ace the interview/audition/presentation, but we let ourselves down.  So how do we judge our performances?

Be kind–tell yourself and believe things like, “Everyone has an off day now and again.  I’ll do better next time.”  Then let it go. 
 
On the other hand, if we let ourselves off too easily, we may not grow and improve.  For example, there are those on AI who are so convinced they’re fabulous singers they don’t hear the judges’ honest critiques or think they could benefit from advice.

Be analytical–review in detail what went wrong.  See what we can learn and put to good use in the future.  Sometimes we want it so much and/or worry so much about what we’re doing that we stay in our heads instead of being in the moment and trusting ourselves. 
 
Maybe we can recover, regroup after an initial stumble.  Or maybe we get even more in our heads, flounder and go downhill fast.  Consider studying and implement techniques to reduce and deal with nerves.        

Be practical–Consider accepting feeling frustrated and/or disappointed.  But know that in many situations, it’s not how we think we did, but how our audience perceives our efforts.  Maybe our standards are too high and we’re being too hard on ourselves.  Perhaps we don’t think we did a great job, but the client is satisfied.  Solicit opinions from trusted colleagues and friends trust to see if theirs mesh with yours.  Accept constructive criticisim, support and find the motivation to move on.
 
 
 

Back and forth

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When I was Gainfully Employed in the days before MapQuest and GPS, my job required frequent travel to visit clients in several Midwest states. I’d drive around Milwaukee, Kansas City, Louisville and even Topeka to see see five to seven advertising agency or advertiser clients each day. For another job, I had to visit many clients every week. No matter the weather, I had appointments to keep. Fortunately, most were within walking distance, but a few were in the distant burbs.

Good things about desk jobs are that you always know where the bathroom is, where to get a glass of water. And you have a space, even a cube with a few drawers, to call your own.

Many years of commuting to my company’s office, then going to at least one client, then back to the office and then to another client–usually carrying a heavy briefcase–prepared me for being a working actress.

Yesterday, for example, I had an on-camera audition downtown that took about half an hour, plus driving. I had to go back home, then went to help a friend. We both happened to have a callback around the same time just past downtown (and, coincidentally, were paired up). We were there less than 15 minutes. Then back to my place. At night, I went west of downtown to work on a cable TV show and go out with friends, making three trips in one day.  Today I had a TV series audition that took less than 5 minutes. So I can spend more time commuting than I do at my destination.

At least I live in the city, not the suburbs like many actor friends. Most auditions are downtown, but jobs can be anywhere. I had an ongoing VO job in Evanston, and now have a client in Oakbrook, which can take an hour to get to. I do most VO auditions and some jobs from home, which is time-saving and can be done around my schedule.  That’s convenient, especially when, like today, an audition arrives late afternoon and is due by 9AM the next morning.  

But despite all of the back and forth, I usually prefer being there in person.  I enjoy interacting with colleagues, as I did when Gainfully Employed, and also the opportunity to take direction and grow relationships in a way that can’t be done via e-mails. 

Learning Lots of Lines

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Every actor has lines to learn for auditions and performances. It’s preferred that we’re off book even for auditions. But more and more often, we don’t receive the script(s) until we arrive at the audition. Many preparation techniques we’ve learned go out the window. Gut reactions prevail. Sometimes we may be able to put the copy on our ear prompters, but that doesn’t always work with dialogue scenes. Some audition venues have cue cards, which can help or hinder–if you lose your place.

Usually the amount of lines we need to learn for commercials or industrials is far less than a play. Years ago, I was in a production of Mamet’s Oleanna. A two person play…a college student and a professor. Each has many long, long monologues, and both are on stage the entire time. That experience stands me in good stead to help a friend who’s starring in a play opening next week and has the bulk of the lines.

Some people like to record their lines and/or those of other characters and play them back again and again. The problems with that process are that, as with cue cards, you might rely on the cheat sheet…in this case, the spoken word, as opposed to your memory, which might make it easier to get thrown off.  And there’s no one to prompt you if you get stuck. In rehearsal, actors get used to calling, “line,” while staying in character. They’re prompted with a few words, and rehearsal continues smoothly.

In my experience, the best way to make lines stick is two-pronged repetition. Part A is looking at the script, using a piece of paper to cover most of the section you’re working on. You learn one line, then repeat it and add on another and then another. But it can be hard to stay focused when huge chunks of script await.  Part B is running that scene with another person. And not just any person. Someone who, for example, knows how and when to prompt without frustrating the actor by interrupting his flow. Someone who can keep track of variations from the actual dialogue and help the actor make corrections. Someone with a lot of patience to listen to the same scenes again and again and again. Because even after lines have been memorized, they need to be repeated as often as possible. Even after the show starts.

I learned that lesson years ago while working as house manager for Chicago Shakespeare Theater during a production of Cymbeline. It surprised me that the actors, who’d already had successful performances, would walk around mouthing their lines before going on stage for each scene….night after night.

So my friend and I have been meeting almost every day, for hours at a time.  Repeating, running scenes, catching script deviations to make sure jokes and poignant moments aren’t diluted, and to make sure he gets cues correct for fellow actors. 

Though time consuming, it’s a lot of fun to see his progress.  As it happens, I too am learning the play, and can already run some scenes or offer corrections without looking at my copy of the script.