Auditions are challenging enough when you have to do a monologue a cold reading from their script. But at an improv audition, you’re expected to create a character and your own lines…on the spot.

Yesterday I had not one but two improv auditions, at

1. Second City. Yes, the Second City, which helped launch the careers of many actors, including Bill Murray, Jim Belushi, Dan Castallaneta, Steve Carell and Tina Fey. SC is holding three days of open, group auditions for “various opportunities.” I’d like to get involved with their communications division, which does corporate training and workshops…so I attached my work resume to my headshot with my acting one. Most people auditioning were probably half my age, so I doubt they’ve had the years of experience I’ve had working with executives. Will that help?

I arrived early, of course. The waiting area was filled with eager, very nicely dressed and, as expected, young improvisers. Surprisingly, more than 75% were men. Off to the left, I saw my improv teacher from my last class was warming up with a group of around 10. The leader had them do a an improv listening excercise and then a bunch of three line scenes (it’s even harder to do improv with people you don’t know…one reason why most improv groups have weekly rehearsals). Next I saw a classmate, who’d just finished her audition. Then it was my group’s turn to warm up. An interesting mix of 5 men and 3 other women.

In the theatre waited 10 auditioners. We stepped on stage, and were told to introduce ourselves and reveal our “special skill.” First were short scenes, where the guy running the audition would call out a name of the person who’d start the scene after being joined by anyone else in line. When my name was called, another woman stepped forward to join me.

Picture yourself standing there on the stage in bright lights before all these people staring and judging you as you think of something to say.

You have to let go and just be in the moment.

The first thing that popped into my head was that we were best friends celebrating their 25th anniversary. My second scene was with a guy who apologized for putting a Magic Marker in the laundry. Very hard to tell how either was received.
Next we were asked to sit in the audience, then called up two at a time for a longer scene with a suggestion. Interesting that all the pairs were male/female. The suggestion for my scene was ‘camp fire.’ Immediately my scene partner started making a fire…but failed, like he failed at everything in our relationship. We got a small laugh or two.

Did I hold my own? I think so. Was I good enough for a callback? Time will tell…

Coming up: my second audition of the day…

I consider my weakest auditions to be those requiring monologues. Recently I attended an open call for one of Chicago’s major casting directors, and was not happy at all with my performance. And supposedly she has a memory like a steel trap.

I do not like monologues, and don’t feel comfortable doing them, which I’m sure comes across during the audition. Give me the actual script or copy and let me do a cold read any day.

Actors are supposed to have one classical (ie Shakespeare) and one contemporary monologue (ie almost anything else) prepared. Sometimes they want to hear 2 minutes of each, sometimes 1. This means you either need 4 monologues or 2 that can be coherently edited. You might also need separate monologues that are comedic and dramatic.

Finding the right ones can be a challenge…you don’t want to do something everyone else is doing and you want to show yourself to your best advantage. Ponder the daunting task of sifting through every play or movie ever written to uncover that pearl in the haystack! Of course there are many monologue books that attempt to help. I recently bought The Monologue Audition, but how do I know if I’m doing a good job?

So I am utlizing the services of a monologue coach. He’s going to help me choose new monologues and, after I see what I can do on my own, will help me interpret them. We’ve talked so he can get a sense of my personality. I told him the monologues I’ve done (for the curious, they are: Carol from Mamet’s Oleanna and two different Lady Annes from Richard III because I was in both of these plays and feel I know them well. Yes, I played Carol. No, I did not play Lady Anne, I played Lady Margaret who had 7 lines that were cut to 3. But I was on stage for 45 minutes frozen in a tapestry-like tableau so I heard Lady Anne do the speeches ad nauseum. I also have a Mary the maid from Ionesco’s Bald Soprano, a Sabina from Wilder’s Skin of our Teeth—why? because Vivien Leigh played her–and an Imogen from Cymbeline. Those who know these plays may realize that I’ve hung onto these a long, long time and that some of the characters may be too young for me now.) I sent my headshot/resume and he’s going to watch my actor slate.

Then, next month, I’ll be taking a monologue workshop given by two of Chicago’s best known casting directors, including the one mentioned above. This should serve two purposes: give me the chance to work with them vs. zipping in for a minute audition and help me end up with a really good monologue!

The holidays are over! Yea! Now the world can get back to business.

I did join most Americans in enjoying downtime:

1) watched some of Battlestar Galactica, Season 3. What a great show…interesting and diverse characters, creative plot twists and convincing escapes from numerous cliffhangers.
2) reading one of the best books I’ve come across in awhile: The Winter Rose by Jennifer Donnelly, set in 1900s London. I got an advance reading copy for free at the national Romance Writers of America conference…I picked it up because it’s so thick (707 trade paperback pages). I love long books (possibly my all time favorite, The Autobiography of Henry VIII by Margaret George is 932 pages!), but today (except for Harry Potter) they are hard to find. High paper paper, to fit more books on a shelf and all that.

I shall confess that TWR made me cry at one point. Not only because the scene is moving, but because I fear I will never write anything that good.

But I digress. This is about working, not playing. Today so far I’ve submitted 2 voiceover auditions and sent out a bunch of e-mails asking for input on a magazine article I’m writing. And, to start on my main resolution: made an appointment for an individual yoga/meditation class.

In other news, my revised Web site went live today…I wanted it to be a little less girly and pink.

I’m stuffed. Not with holiday food, with stuff.

In the spirit of starting 2008 in an organized fashion, a lot of stuff has to go. I’m working my way through every drawer, every closet, every file folder and my storage closet…ruthlessly. Ha.

It’s hard to get rid of the lovely Tahari evening dress I bought in 1993 to be a bridesmaid. But the thing is almost 14 years old and just doesn’t look flattering on me anymore. Same with some suits purchased in the 90’s for my former day job. Nice fabrics in excellent condition, but they just don’t suit. Ha. Goodbye, eyeshadows, lipsticks, blushers and creams accumulated via years of makeup promotions. Farewell, magazine and newspaper articles on topics from flat abs to plotting a novel I’ve carefully clipped and saved but rarely refer to.

What/how much do we really need? How many pairs of shoes? Jeans? Types of hair gels? Pairs of pajamas?

But how can I part with a few vintage dresses that were my mom’s? The very cool 1950’s drinking glasses my great aunt gave me? I never know what sort of self-costuming a show or movie might require, so I’ve kept some stuff. Just in case.

I joined freecycle.org…an amazing Yahoo! group where you offer stuff you no longer want and can request stuff that you do. Within hours I gave away my Clavinova–a full size electric piano from the late 80’s that still works great except for the C# key. Took up too much space in my bedroom, and I only played to pound out notes/the alto part in music I needed to sing. It went to a young woman who was so happy to gift it to her musician boyfriend. How nice when extra stuff goes to a good home. I then bought a much smaller Yamaha keyboard that fits in a closet.

Then there are books…very hard for me to give those away. Though I don’t keep every book I read, I want those that have made their way to my ‘keeper’ shelf and my numerous medieval England research books. Seeing them lined up neatly on their shelves is somehow relaxing and reassuring. And then there’s the bookcase with books to be read…

I’m off to the Salvation Army to donate several bags of oldies but goodies. And then to Target. In case I need new stuff.

I was in a bar with Patrick Swayze last night until 12:30AM.
And, if you know who he is, Travis Fimmel, too.

This is because I was an extra in their new pilot for A&E, The Beast. Not for any other reason.

I’ve been an extra on more than 55 productions, and have often been in close proximity to the principals (aka stars). But as a Dirty Dancing fan, seeing PS in person and watching him act in take after take was particularly cool.

Being an extra is rarely glamorous. We waited in a cold, spartan holding area for more than six hours on hard plastic chairs, then were on set–the smoky and cold bar–on and off for several hours. A few people smoked cigarettes (including PS) and they also blew in some fake smoke.

My call time was 12:00PM; we didn’t wrap until 12:30AM. For not a lot of money. But, I enjoyed delicious food (including very tasty salmon and turtle cheesecake), and fun and interesting conversations.

One of the reasons I continue to work as an extra is to observe and be a part of the creative filming process. I got to sit mere feet away from PS and the director. I heard them discuss the various shots and takes and what they needed to do on the next take…it’s interesting to see the personnel interact and make changes. It’s also fun to see the movie or TV show and know what went into producing it.

As we rush around doing the busy-busy this time of year, maybe we need to stop for a moment to reflect on how we spent our 2007….how we chose to spend our time and what we chose to think about.

I don’t mean trying to reflect while you’re in the middle of wrapping presents or running errands or on the way to a social event. I mean sitting down in a quiet room and taking a few quality moments to go over what you have accomplished this year. What you have learned.

Most of us are so caught up in where we’re going next or all the stuff we should be doing that we don’t make time to appreciate where we are. Some of us tend to think, “Another year is passing, and I still I haven’t ______________.” For me, the blank is filled by “sold a book.” This thought process, of course, leads to frustration and ruminating about what I could have done differently. Even when many aspects of selling a book are beyond my control.

What if I could turn that thought around and think about what I did do? If I could think, “I wrote another manuscript this year. And completed the extensive revisions my agent requested, to her satisfaction. And started two new novels.” Those accomplishments should be a big deal. They should mean something. But my mind whips past any achievements to, “What’s next? Why haven’t you written more pages on your next books?”

The challenge is not being too hard on myself while remaining motivated and disciplined enough to move forward. Sometimes that seems to be a fine line.

I need to make more room in my head for gratefulness and gratitude. I need to allow myself to appreciate my successes and experience inner peace.

What can you appreciate?

Word is that many literary agents don’t submit during December. Rationale: The publishing industry slows down and agents don’t want their clients’ manuscripts buried and moldering on editors’ desks.

These agents say it’s better to submit after the New Year. But I wonder, won’t that result in a deluge, and overwhelm editors with envelopes and packages? If a month’s worth of submissions is held back, how many will arrive the first week of 2008? I’m curious to know how editors prioritize when they receive dozens of manuscripts at once. There must be some editors who make their way through the pile chronologically…

Hmmm. Is this a chicken or the egg situation?

It’s well known that many other industries also slow down this time of year, while everyone scrambles to decorate, buy gifts and cook for the holidays and attends seasonal functions. What does all this lost productivity cost our economy? Why don’t corporations just accede to this national trend, and give employees off from December 15 to January 3rd, instead of going through the motions and requiring everyone to show up at the office?

I know I can’t afford to take off an entire month just because of holiday hustle and bustle. Financially–well, I don’t get paid vacation days and don’t want to abandon all hope of earnings. Mentally–sometimes I feel guilty if I take the weekend off. No way could I play or party for two weeks.

I’ve also heard of an agent who prefers not to submit on Mondays or Fridays. And they say publishing slows down in August, too.

Maybe that’s one reason many authors have agents: to trust that they know the market better than we do.

What a variety of parts I’ve been asked to portray recently…from a corporate district manager (cast without an audition) to a doctor (auditioned and got the part) to a weed (auditioned, don’t think I got it). Yes, the voice of a weed.

Sit back for a moment and imagine how you’d use your voice to convey the demise of a weed.

First I tried various short, high pitched shrieks, but they grated on my ears, even when I sat further back from my microphone. Gaspy groans ended up sounding too much like Meg Ryan in that famous When Harry Met Sally scene.

By this time my throat was starting to hurt. I wondered if my neighbors could hear the screaming. It’s very hard to scream quietly. Finally settled on a sort of gurgly sound.

This week, went on two more print looksees. One was for bad hair…you can’t imagine how big my hair gets if I brush it while upside down. And if I don’t flatiron my bangs, each piece goes a different direction. They wanted a mugshot type look; not sure if I came across mean enough. And, they saw over 200 men and women in 8 hours.

The next day, coincidentally, went back to the same photographer for a “nice lady next door” print ad for a well-known prescription drug. I saw blondes, redheads, brown haired women there…in 5 hours who knows how many they will see. The photographer did remember me from yesterday…

I can only hope I’ve assimilated enough information from watching many seasons of America’s Next Top Model to pose competently and connect with the camera.

Moving from on camera, VO, and print to live theatre…I’m in a musical revue, where, among other things, I’m zombie lawyer and a tap dancing cheerleader who does the splits…

For those planning to attend RWA’s National conference next July in San Francisco, here’s a heads up about the hotel. Fortunately it’s in the middle of everything…shopping, food, sights…all in walking distance.

San Francisco Marriott

Lobby area: is under renovation. A new, focal point lobby bar is on its way as is a new entrance and registration desk. There is a Starbucks and several restaurants, but see Trish Milburn’s post about other convenient eating options. The Garden Terrace will seat fewer people after the second floor renovation than it does now.

Rooms: The guest rooms are fairly spacious and, as you can see if you go to the link, provide beds with lots of pillows. Farthest from the elevator is an even larger room offering seating area with a couch and two chairs in addition to the two chairs in a regular king room.

Other: Check in is 4:00 PM, though they happily gave me a room when I arrived at around 11AM. But very few people were checking in at that time, and I don’t know how crowded they were the night before. Internet access is $12.95/day. This is one of those hotels with mid-rise and high-rise elevators. There is a health club (24 hours) and a pool; the spa area was recently renovated.
Taxi from the airport: around 25 minutes and $40.
Shower head has various speed/strength options. Flat screen TVs.
The staff was very friendly and helpful, particularly those at the Concierge desk.

Picky Notes:
The blow dryer hung on the only hook in my room.
The closet, in a king bed room at least, is fairly small for two people to share. There were at least two spacious drawers.
If you care about a great view, check to make sure your room has one.
At this time, there are no beverage machines on the room floors.
The line for taxis can be long, but it was easy to get our own taxis.

Conference space: is huge. Most rooms and registration are beneath the lobby but there are some meeting rooms on 4 & 5. The main ballroom is bigger than last year’s.
Check out the floor plans.

Faithful readers, I have an announcement: yesterday I felt like and believed I am a working actress and author. Here’s why:

In the late afternoon I spoke with my literary agent…she said liked all the changes she’d asked me to make on my latest opus, that it was now a stonger book. Whew. And that she’d submit it right away, after I sent her 4 copies of the new version. (Some of you may think, ‘why can’t she make the copies?’ But often it’s up to the author to do that.) So I fired up my printer. Fortunately I had enough paper and toner to print 1404 pages.

Meanwhile, I was learning my lines for a Walgreen’s training video that started at 10:15 pm, and glancing over copy for an audition I have for two corporate videos today.

I carried the huge stack to UPS and overnighted the 4 copies, thrilled to have this off my plate and on hers. Then I went to two hours of my high energy three hour improv class, and drove to the burbs for the Walgreen’s shoot. I had three scenes, finished at 2:20 am and got home at 3.

It’s still hard for me to believe that all I have to do is say the lines, and the producer/director/writer will be happy with my performance. Not to say that they don’t ask me to try different things on each take, or adjust my position or how I hold a clipboard or whatever…but then I do what they say and they are happy with that. Not that this is always easy…to remember lines and say them with the right inflection/emotion while turning at a certain moment without moving out of camera frame.

I guess part of me still wonders if I am an actress.

I am.