Last week my PC crashed…froze at the Windows XP splash screen. Yikes.

Like many Gainfully Unemployed, I rely on my computer every day. I send audition MP3s to agents, jobs to clients, query letters and submissions. I do Internet research on facts and grammar rules when editing, agents and editors when submitting…the list goes on and on. So I, not very technically inclined, had to decide what to do, and fast. (One benefit of gainful employment: an employer who offers tech support and/or a replacement computer.)

Fortunately I’d backed up most of my data (if you haven’t, do it now! I use an external hard drive, and probably will add online backup, also.), and I have a laptop and wireless Internet, so I was able to stay on top of email. But the laptop doesn’t have all the software I need, plus it’s not ergonomic…so getting work done has taken a lot longer. And figuring out how to get quality sound for my auditions has been a challenge.

Not to mention time/money/frustration I expended troubleshooting, deciding what to do about fixing it and updating my laptop with new drivers, etc. I’m not quite sure how I figured all that out, especially when I realized I’d downloaded an XP driver for my Bluetooth mouse though my laptop has Vista…

I ended up taking my hard drive to the Geek Squad at Best Buy. Fortunately all of my data was salvagable. They wanted to run a $69.99 diagnostic that would take 3-5 days. They called on the 17th to say my PC had acquired 271 pieces of malware (I’d thought my antivirus software/firewall would prevent that, but obviously not.) and so my OS was corrupted. They could fix it for another $130, and would need until the 19th or the 21st. Better to cave and buy a new PC (or a Mac, as many friends advise)…or go with the fix? I chose the fix.

It’s not ready yet, which means 10 days so far without my PC. Seems like much, much longer. Maybe this cloud has a silver lining…when I do get it back it might run faster than before.

From students to freelancers to telecommuters, many of us simply can’t their jobs done these days without daily computer access. There’s no way I know of to prevent future crashes and the frustration that goes along with them…but adequate preparation via backup and easily accessible alternate technology helps a lot.

By three little words, I don’t mean “I love you” and why those words can be so hard to say or feel.  I mean the fact that three little words can make a huge difference in the amount of money and respect an actor earns.

Yesterday I auditioned for a speaking role in a major motion picture.  The character says–you guessed it–three words.  She speaks to the lead character, then he moves on.  A very short scene.  But should I get it, I’m pretty sure I’d earn the Screen Actor’s Guild day player rate, which according to their site is currently $782.  And I’d be eligible to join SAG, earn residuals, etc.

The saying goes, “There are no small parts, only small actors.”  If you ascribe to this theory, then every role is important, including those who speak a few lines and extras.  First, extras create essential atmosphere: Imagine the hero walking down Michigan Avenue…with no crowd.  You’d immediately assume there’d been an apocolypse, or that it was very early on a Sunday morning.  The scene wouldn’t feel  or look right without a bunch of appropriately dressed and appropriately milling about tourists, shoppers and businesspeople. 

Second, extras can screw up a shot.  Walking patterns, sometimes very complex, are established during rehearsals.  Extras are expected to do the same thing for every take…partly so everyone knows what everyone else is doing, and partly for continuity and to match up shots.  You are expected to reset yourself and any props for each take.  I recently did an office packing scene for a Fox pilot…and every time we had to take out all the papers and files we’d put into boxes (with the director calling out, “pack faster”) so we could pack them again.  Without all of our packing and unpacking, the scene wouldn’t work.  If an extra is supposed to cross in front of a moving camera or pass by a star but is a few steps late or early, he might run into a cord-carrying grip, the camera or the star, necessitating another take.  And on a movie set, time is money. 

If you’re seated next to a star, say, in a corporate meeting or at a wedding, you might also end up with more screen time than the person playing that three-word speaking role.  Yet non-union extras in Chicago are currently paid $65/8 hrs, then time and a half not counting lunch, or sometimes $100 for 12 hours.  I hear a small increase may be in the offing.  But recently I’ve also come across major projects that expect extras to work for free.

Extras in LA and NY can earn their SAG cards by working 3 SAG projects.  Not in Chicago.  If I have a line, I can put it on my resume.  Extra work does not count and in fact can be looked down on…even if the director directs you personally.  I’d think that watching major stars and directors in action, which to me is like taking a master class, would at least show agents you’re learning your craft, that you’ve spent time on movie sets and so presumably are familiar with how to behave.  You understand the jargon.  I’ve been mere feet from directors including Clint Eastwood, Michael Mann and stars including Johnny Depp.  I’ve been directed by Ron Howard and Sam Raimi, for example. 

So…I’m not quite sure why an actor gets respect and a lot more money for saying three little words to a star, but not for being one of a few extras near a star.  Thoughts?

While working in corporate America, I was fortunate to have a job that was pretty much 9 to 5. Sometimes I’d take home the stress of waiting for clients to sign their contracts, think I should have followed up with one more contact or scheduled one more meeting. But mostly I was able to leave work in the office and enjoy my evenings and weekends. Vacation days were even better–ah, the joy of getting paid not to work.

But for the Gainfully Unemployed, for the freelancer, there’s always more work to do. So it’s hard to decide when to take a break, when to relax…if you even can. Authors/writers can always produce another page, enter another contest, send out another query. Performers/freelancers/those starting businesses can always do one more thing to market themselves and their services. When you have an actual deadline– lines to learn for an audition or performance, an agent/editor waiting for timely revisions– letting go of the pressure to keep plugging away can be difficult. Especially if you don’t have a lot of paying projects coming up.  The drive to do as much as you possibly can to further your success can be relentless.

Setting goals helps: If I cross X items off my list and do Y number of proactive things today, then I can reward myself with Z. I like to exceed goals, not just meet them. And how do you know your goals are ambitious enough in the first place, that you’re not letting yourself off easy? Often there’s a nagging voice in my head urging me to do X + 1 or Y +2. It says, “If you’re not in it, you can’t win it.” And, “Just put one more iron in that fire.” The voice does not say, “You’ve worked hard today…you deserve some time off.”

On the other hand, I know that everyone needs to refill the well, have some down time, hang out with family and friends. I also believe that the creative subconscious works best when we’re not thinking or focusing the project at hand…perhaps why people say they get good ideas in the shower. Why many (including me) keep a pen and paper in every room…to jot down an inspiration, preserve that “aha!” moment before it floats out of our minds.

When do you take a break? And when you do, can you truly enjoy it?

Many people believe happiness comes from within. Articles advise that if you’re honest and accept yourself, if you make the best out of what you have and do in life, contentment and happiness will be yours.

While I agree that attitude and one’s personal beliefs make a big difference in perceiving happiness, I’m not sure I believe that just putting out positive thoughts will lead the universe to provide amazing things (as, for example, THE SECRET maintains).

My dad believed in the security that money brings. For years and years, he worked long hours and rarely took vacations. When he did, he had a hard time sitting still. Often he was very stressed about running his business.

My grandfather believed in cooking great bar-b-que, making delicious pickled green tomatoes and a good game of canasta or bridge. He worked as a carpet layer, and for a while had a carpet store. Sometimes he’d accept a meal or some other form of barter for his services instead of money. He always seemed to be in a good mood. He was one of the happiest people I’ve known, in the moment and long term.

I wish I took more after him. But as a freelancer, my ‘in the moment’ happiness often comes in the form of auditions and gigs. I know I can’t control how many I’ll get; all I can do is put more irons in the fire. Even if I’ve had a busy week, if the next looks sparsely filled, it’s hard for me to relax, believe more work will follow soon…and delve into other projects.

This week began without a single audition or booking. Instead of satisfaction lingering from a productive last week, which included a booking; an audition; giving a successful, well-attended workshop at a writing conference (attendees approached the day after to say how inspiring/helpful I’d been); a close friend I critique for–who thanks me in all of her books–making the NYT and USA Today best seller lists; getting editor/agent requests for various manuscripts; making progress on a non-fiction project and some fun social events, in my mind it was pretty much done and gone. My ITM happiness increased as each of 3 auditions showed up in my inbox (print, VO and short film). Whew.

I’m still working on increasing my cumulative, internal happiness and being less affected by external things I can’t control. One day at a time.

What makes you happy?

Lo these many years ago, I left my day job in favor of acting and writing (pursuing publication of and completing more manuscripts, and freelance writing/editing) full time.

When I worked nine to five, I faced pressure to increase revenue and meet goals in my several million dollar territory. And I enjoyed perks like 4 weeks of paid vacation, personal days/holidays and a supply of company logo clothing/mugs/pens.

Now I face the pressure of maintaining and growing my incoming revenue stream. I’m often torn between numerous projects, not sure which will result in the biggest payoff. I’d thought I’d write when I wasn’t acting, that freeing up weekdays from nine to five would yield plenty of time for both. But I’ve found that more effort, more hours than I’d like are needed to market both careers and complete incoming obligations.

Have I bitten off more than I can effectively chew? Some days, even when I’ve checked many items off my To Do list, I still think I should get more done. But I choose to go to chorus rehearsal or to social events.

The past few months, I’ve a) had some great acting gigs, in and out of town…most recently 3 days in Las Vegas for ComedySportz b) made progress on two non-fiction projects but have not written many new fiction pages c) not spent much time on proactive submissions d) had assorted life intrusions that took focus.

Lately I’ve been earning more from acting than writing. So I wonder if I should relegate writing to “whenever I can fit it in” status or give it up entirely? If I pursue only acting, will I get enough additional work to justify cutting back on or eliminating writing? Or should I do as I often did while in corporate America: reduce my social life and spend most nights and weekends writing? I love to write, to spend time with fellow writers and learn about the publishing industry. But I love money, too.

Time is money. Often, only time will tell where your time is best spent.

Often it’s a challenge for the Gainfully Unemployed to plan ahead.  I’m reluctant to go out of town because experience has shown I’ll miss out on direct bookings and/or great auditions (because I wouldn’t be available for the audition itself or the day(s) of the shoot/recording).  I never know when the phone might ring with auditions or work, so sometimes I hesitate to take on commitments I may need to reschedule. 

I don’t know when I’ll get paid for jobs I’ve done.  This is because agents usually don’t want to pay their talent until the client pays them…and often the client must first get paid by his client.  I’m still waiting for checks for 2 VO projects from 2009, though supposedly one will be available soon. 

So though I am by nature a planner who prefers things to go as originally scheduled, I’m learning to live one day at a time.  To accept that many decisions take place at the last minute (see last week’s entry, Hurry up and Wait) and adjust accordingly.  To believe that for a day with no auditions or jobs on my calendar, I’ll have some by the time the day arrives or have enough other projects to do….and that most of those will be income producing and not merely enjoyable or productive…such as critiquing for a friend under deadline or assigments I’ve agreed to do for the Chicago Bar Association (like the press release I finished this morning for the CBA Chorus & Symphony’s next concert or the FAQs I’m working on for Romance Writers of America). 

I have to believe that because I’ve chosen to be a freelancer, I can also choose to have the discipline to work a full day each day, and not play hooky because the weather is nice or a friend wants to have a leisurely lunch.  I have to focus on what I’m doing today, and not dwell on negative “what ifs…”  What if the phone doesn’t ring this week?  What if I don’t book any more jobs this month? 

And if there’s a day when the phone doesn’t ring, I can’t let it get to me…but instead work more on marketing myself.  Realizing that there’s often an ebb and flow in this business can be a challenge.  Because as soon as you finish one great gig (like the 3 days I just spent in Las Vegas doing part scripted, part improv corporate shows that were so funny I had a hard time staying in character), it’s difficult to just bask in the glow of the attendees’ many compliments (and a “very, very happy” client) and not wonder when I’ll get the next. 

I’ve often been told life is about the journey and not the outcome…so here’s to enjoying the journey.  One day at a time.

Both the Gainfully Unemployed and Gainfully Employed are often at the behest of others when it comes to getting work done. We set time aside for a particular project, audition or gig, only to have to wait to prepare or do the job until a boss, co-worker, agent or producer provides the information we need to move forward. By the time the materials arrive, we may have to scramble to get the job done right, especially if others are involved and we have to coordinate schedules.

An extreme example: working as an extra for an HBO movie. We’d been told to dress very upscale. The hair and makeup people spent a couple of hours transforming us…my very curly hair had been flatironed smooth (no easy task) and was as glossy and flowy as a Sassoon commercial. Someone came to bring us to set, which was about a block away. He took one look at us, and said, in fact, we were supposed to be very downscale.

Everyone burst into action, opening garment bags and suitcases to see if we’d brought anything appropriate for that look. Most of us hadn’t. The hair person slathered some cream into my freshly done, perfectly beautiful hair to make it look greasy. We literally ran to the wardrobe truck. The wardrobe people glanced at us for size, then grabbed garments and threw to us that. We put them on while we ran to set. Whew.

Recently I did two short videos for a major brand and large ad agency. I received a couple of emails about when I’d get the scripts, but they never arrived. I got them the next morning when I arrived on set. Partly thanks to all of my improv training and partly because I’ve always been a quick study, this wasn’t a problem for me. But I heard the woman who was shooting after me saying she couldn’t learn all the copy in time.

The hurry up and wait process can lead to a lot of stress, especially for those of us who thrive on planning ahead. We get impatient and frustrated when we don’t have what we need to do our jobs, and then pressured to perform without as much preparation as we would have liked.

I’m learning to let this stress go, to calmly accept what I’m given when I get it so I can do my best. To make the most of a schedule that sometimes changes so fast I could get whiplash. But every so often, it would be nice if a project proceeded according to my time frame.

Other takes on this topic:
GenReality  publishing
Steve Raybine music industry

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Because the Gainfully Unemployed must often be proactive to get work, we need frequent inspiration to keep us going. We need new approaches, new projects to create, new sources of motivation.

You can inspire inspiration via quotes/affirmations, books/articles, journaling and following programs such as The Artist’s Way.  Some tie inspiration in with religion, faith, and/or the universe.  Insights can be generated by brainstorming or just talking your thoughts through with a friend who gets you and what you want to accomplish.

Sometimes inspiration comes when you least expect it…whether it’s a line of dialogue, that missing scene, or the seed that sprouts an entirely new project. How many people say they do their best thinking in the shower? I keep a pen and pad of paper in every room; I’ve learned the hard way if I don’t write these flashes of brilliance down, they quite frustratingly disappear into the mist no matter how sure I am I’ll remember.

I woke up at 4:30AM this morning. Worries about when I might get the last form I need to file my income taxes kept me from going back to sleep. Suddenly an idea for a YA popped into my head.  For weeks I’ve been waffling over what genre to write next, unsure if any of the premises I’ve come up with are high concept and/or fresh enough. Stung by recent close but no cigar rejections like “didn’t feel there wasn’t a strong enough hook to market this novel…it was a tough call to make because we really do like your writing.” And even when I’ve honed in on a genre, I go back and forth over tone/style. What I know of the market and recent sales sways me, though I know you’re not supposed to write to trends. This morning’s concept just might be it.

What you do with inspiration is key…do you act upon it or talk yourself out of it? Overthink it to death or let it flow organically?

What inspires you?

For more thoughts:

Wikipedia: Artistic Inspiration

eHow: How to Give Yourself Inspiration

LearnThis: 8 Methods to Find Inspiration

I’m happy to report my busiest month so far since fleeing corporate America at the end of 2005 to be an actress and freelance writer/editor.

This week alone I’ll have seven auditions…all from agents. Two on camera, four VO and one theatre.

There are other ways to get auditions, but agents usually have access to the best gigs. Craigslist lists a variety of auditions, though many are non-paying, such as student films. Occasionally CL has great postings; sometimes I get auditions after submitting my headshot/resume. Other sites such as Performink and CIN list auditions–though many of these are for theatre and improv, which usually don’t pay or don’t pay as much as on camera or VO work. I subscribe to a couple of sites that send a bunch of VO audition opportunities every day. But to get this many auditions from agents in one week is fabulous. And as they say, if you’re not in it, you can’t win it. I hope that being on their radar now means I’ll stay there.

I also booked two jobs this week…a VO narration after an ASAP audition. Also a several day corporate gig for ComedySportz..in Las Vegas! And I’m presenting a voiceover business workshop at Acting Studio Chicago. Last week I had a 20+ minute narration job (that didn’t require a single word of revision!). I did a week of corporate training simulation for a consulting firm and was an extra in ABC’s TV pilot Matadors. Next week, so far, I’m doing a Northwestern Hospital video, via CL I have an audition to host an Internet health series, and I may be an extra in another pilot.

Perhaps the reason for this influx of business doesn’t matter, but I wonder. Is the economy improving? Are some of my many irons in the fire coming to fruition…is persistence finally paying? Does my flexible schedule help because others aren’t available? Or have I been doing good work that kindles more work? And will it continue?

Faithful readers will note this blog entry title is about acting.  I’d hoped to do both writing/editing and acting.  At the moment my various manuscripts are still incurring rejections, and the only writing I’m doing is for the religous parody Best Church of God.  Of late, however, I haven’t spent as much time pursuing opportunities/working on new projects/submitting. 

Even the Gainfully Unemployed need a some down time…  Stay tuned.