They say that if your ears are burning, someone is talking about you. In the writing and acting businesses, you want your ears to be burning a lot…and hope you’re being talked about in a good way.

Examples:
–I booked a medical industrial without auditioning. The client must’ve listened to my demo, liked it and talked to my agent.

–A friend actually asked the other day if my ears were burning. She said she’d been talking about how helpful and encouraging I’d been at the writing conference where we first met.

–References…to get a recent VO job, I was asked to give two industry contacts.

–I was put on hold for a job, meaning a client was interested. Time passed, and I didn’t hear about a firm booking. You don’t want to dwell on what’s happening with auditions or submissions, but sometimes it’s a challenge not to wonder if the job fell through or what made the client choose another talent. Lo and behold, more than a week later I got the firm booking call.

You want your marketing materials (on camera reel, VO demo(s), headshots, Web site, or first three chapters and synopsis) to speak for themselves in encouraging industry professionals to hire you. Building a reputation for professionalism, meeting deadlines and being pleasant to work with is also important for repeat business.

Getting compliments and/or feedback is great and useful. I don’t often find out what a client liked, or if there was something they didn’t like. Some writers are offended if they receive a revision letter. Their opus is fabulous as is, how dare anyone suggest otherwise? But most know that a revision letter means that the agent/editor wants the manuscript to be the best, most saleable product it can be.

While researching the definition of ears burning, I came across another saying I hadn’t heard: Left for love, right for spite.

Hmmm.

Many Gainfully Employed and Unemployed work from home. We’re in front of our computers for many hours at a stretch and may have days without limited personal interactions, which can be rather isolating. While social networking and texting make it easier to stay in some sort of touch with many people wherever, whenever, that kind of communication just doesn’t have the same quality or depth as a phone call or in person meeting. All of this online contact, in fact, can increase isolation…because many people spend so much time and effort commenting on comments, Tweeting or checking out what others are doing that they run out of time to actually talk or see friends (Too Much Tine Online Linked with Depression Risk and WikiHow to Stop Spending Too Much Time Online)

Some people you don’t see as often as you used to, such as former co-workers or clients, but when you do get together the connection and shared understanding is still there. Whatever the reason that kept you apart, you’re able pick up right where you left off. When these acquaintances and friends return to your life, whether on Facebook or in person, is it random…a small world thing, or is there a reason?

It’s amazing how many times on acting jobs or auditions I run into someone I’ve worked with before. Examples include: last week, I had an hour long group audition with only three others, one of whom I’d worked with at Winter WonderFest. A choreographer I’d worked with for several productions but hadn’t talked to in a couple of years booked me for a voiceover job, also last week. The host of the event happened to be someone I’d worked with several years ago on an emotional role-playing job. This week at an invitation-only audition, I ran into an FB friend I’ve worked as an extra with a couple of times.

As we’re trying to get everything done, we might think we should call or have lunch with various friends or relatives, but then don’t get around to it. I’m going to make more of an effort to keep in real touch with people (not just via FB or Linked In status updates), instead of letting Life do most of the deciding about who I see and when.

Given the state of the economy and layoffs or hiring freezes, many Gainfully Employed are now expected to take on additional tasks if they want to keep their jobs, often for no additional pay. Employees are stretched thin and/or asked to do things not in their bailiwick. While some may balk, others will see this as a positive change, a chance to become more valuable to their employers and develop new skills.

Many Gainfully Unemployed are already familiar with this process. Specialization can limit opportunities in today’s multi-tasking, time-pressed environment. When you get booked by a client, the hope is to have him/her return with future projects. In order to make ourselves more marketable and expose ourselves to a wider range of potential clients, the GU should consider adding more services to their offerings. Because the more people you meet and work with, the more people you can meet and work with. And some clients also prefer a one stop shop instead of having to make arrangements with multiple vendors.

I mainly do voice and on camera work, but I also offer script and copy editing and writing. I do some print and improv, and present a variety of workshops. Other examples: a choreographer who also casts variety acts and talent for her shows. Voiceover talents who also do demos and coaching/teaching. A writer who can also do graphic or Web site design.

Sometimes I meet GU who are unwilling or perhaps afraid to expand their repertoire. Perhaps they’re happy knowing what they know and don’t want to make themselves uncomfortable by going outside of their boxes. Perhaps they don’t want to do the extra work to research and market new products.

The key is balance. You don’t want to stretch yourself too thin or offer services too far outside your wheelhouse. It can be tempting to just say yes if a client asks if you can do something you haven’t done before. More work! More money! But consider thinking it through before you commit. Consider taking classes to hone skills related to your main services. Every so often, consider stepping back from getting your work done and think about new ways to make clients want to choose you.

When deciding whether to press on or give up, we may think of platitudes like: “Winners never quit, quitters never win.” “Persistence pays.” “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”

But then there are: “You’re hitting your head against a brick wall.” “Don’t beat a dead horse.” “Don’t throw good money after bad.”

We’ve heard how long it took Edison to make the light bulb work and how many failures he had, the high number of rejections some now-famous authors received before selling, actors who were down to their last quarter before getting their big break.

So how much time, effort and money do you invest in a venture before you’re satisfied you should keep going or you’re sure you’re done? Do you set an ultimatum…if I don’t see X results by Y date, I’m through?

If you persist, you may attain your goal. But in most cases, there’s no way to know how long that will take. You may at least have more interesting and beneficial experiences. Or you may feel you’ve wasted more time and come to regret not moving on sooner.

If you quit, there’s the fear that you’re giving up too soon…your next attempt could be the one. On the other hand, you’ll have more time, money and energy to spend on a fresh start or other pursuits you hadn’t focused on. You might feel relief or that you’ve failed.

Then there are those who settle in between…half-heartedly persisting or subsisting in an unsatisfying situation, whether it’s a bad relationship or job, because change is just too scary.

If the majority of your friends advise you to go one way or the other, do you believe them or do the opposite? We’re often told to trust our instincts, but what if they aren’t communicating with us…do we hope they’ll speak up soon or just make a decision? Some may believe in signs and keep going until they get one. Others may pray for guidance.

I think the key is to get out of the rut and do something to move forward. Then perhaps the way will become more clear.

Today I worked as an extra in a Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Connolly film directed by Ron Howard currently called Cheaters.

Being a movie star may be glamourous, but being an extra is a lot about waiting. However, there aren’t many places you can get paid (albeit not that much) to sit and read, use your cell or chat with fellow extras. I do it mostly because I enjoy being close enough to major stars and directors that I can see and hear them at work. Sometimes we’re served amazing lunches, like grilled salmon and a variety of homemade desserts…almost any meal I don’t have to shop for, cook and clean up after is a good meal.

On today’s set, an upscale restaurant, I was in fact close enough to Ron Howard that he spoke to me. Ok, so it wasn’t to direct me (though he did during an El scene in Backdraft back in 1990…a scene he said was important–involving William Baldwin on his way to his first day of work as a fireman–but was cut, in the days before deleted scenes were saved for DVDs. WB, carrying a bunch of bags, sat in front of me as I read a magazine. I was supposed to react at a certain spot. Our train rode around the Loop many times.). It was to apologize for almost tripping over my chair.

Vince V and Jennifer C walked right by my table. It’s very interesting to note the changes and adjustments made for each take, and to see close up the process of filming different scenes. And, as an upscale diner, I also got to eat a piece of delicious chocolate hazelnut mousse cake.

Today’s hours were quite reasonable, 7:30AM-2:00PM. Usually extras work around 12 hours. And on Public Enemies, I worked from 9:00AM until 2:30AM the next morning, including the two hours it took to get into 1930’s hair, makeup and wardrobe.

Transformers 3 is next to come to town…but I chose not to attend the open casting call–aka registration–and wait for hours in line. The FOX series Ride Along starring Jennifer Beals is supposed to film entirely in Chicago. I worked on the pilot (and in the small world vein was placed in the office of someone who used to be a corporate America client of mine), but perhaps I’ll work on an episode or episodes, too….

In our high speed, multi-tasking world where many people feel the need to frequently check e-mails and texts even when having weekend dinner or drinks with a friend, one might think communication would be easier, more efficient and clearer.

In fact, because of the haste with which e-communications are often read and sent, concern that your message wasn’t received if you don’t receive a timely reply, or replies that have an off-putting tone, using cell phones and computers to communicate can be frustrating, confusing or waste time.

Common challenges:

–Not supplying requested or required information or non-responsive responses. Example: You need to know what color the sky is and your client/friend/co-worker says “yes.”

–Responding to part but not all of an e-communication. Example: You can’t record a script until the pronunciations of 3 words are confirmed, but for some reason the client only gives you 2.

–Too many e-communications sent to resolve a simple issue.

–E-groups discussions for committees needing to complete complex tasks go in circles.

–Someone higher up the food chain sends a detailed revision e-mail but could have saved both of you time by making the changes on the document.

Suggestions:

–Take the time to read and respond carefully so you can be accurate, thorough and reduce follow up.

–Endeavor to be consistent in response times.

–If you don’t have the information, or if you’re part of a group and your opinion has been requested, don’t not respond. Either say when you plan to supply the information or let the group know you don’t care which decision is made.

–Use out of office auto-replies to let people know when you’re not available.

–If you need information/confirmation before you can move forward, consider providing a deadline: “If I don’t hear from you by X on Y issue, I’ll go ahead and do Z.”

–Pick up the phone instead of creating a long e-mail chain.

–Follow up phone calls in writing. People are often multi-tasking (driving, checking e-mails) when on the phone and may be distracted or just not remember all details agreed to during a call.

–Double check that a revision you want someone to make is really needed or correct. I’ve been asked to change things I know are accurate because someone assumed they weren’t.

–Say what you mean.

Many people with day jobs have the benefit of access to an IT person or department. If something goes wrong with their PCs, they should be able to get help. At least they have co-workers to ask if they don’t know how to do a particular task in Excel, or figure out which Word command they need.

But the GU usually work alone (though perhaps those who work in coffee shops can ask fellow laptop users). Sometimes when we agree to take on an assignment, it turns out to be outside our technology comfort zone. So we can be in for some wasted time and frustration.

Two examples:

–I had to include 2 original graphics in each weekly program for a local production. I couldn’t get Photoshop to execute the ideas I saw in my head. I tried to figure it out on my own and managed to get a few features to cooperate, but got hung up on layers. Finding helpful online help was a challenge. After far too much time, I finally had the graphics I wanted. But by the next time I used Photoshop, I’d forgotten some of the things I’d learned.

–A friend hired me to file a document requiring certain attachments. She sent me one, but each page was a separate JPEG and I needed them all in a single PDF. I tried opening each JPEG, printing it, then using my scanner, but for whatever reason I still couldn’t get the pages into a single document. Fortunately in this case, another friend helped.

In addition to days of misery following my recent computer crash and hours reloading software and adjusting settings, I’m still dealing with some side effects.

The solution: find a computer/technology whiz and see if I can barter some editing or writing for assistance and customized training.

The saying goes, “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.”

Parents get asked to do just one more thing for their kids’ school. Those who volunteer for associations or charities are encouraged to take on yet another task for their committee. And often we– who are interested in the new assignment, or want to be needed, want to be helpful or don’t want to disappoint others– agree.

But when are you too busy? When I was in college, someone put a note on my door that said, “Your busy social life should be less busy and more social.” I don’t know who put it there. Did a sorority sister think I was involved in too many campus organizations/activities and so not going out enough? Hmm.

Sometimes we wind up over committing ourselves. When we accept, we think we’ll have time to complete everything on deadline.  Even for the efficient, productive Gainfully Unemployed, doing so can be a challenge when everything is due at once. This week, for example, I’m fortunate to have quite a lot on my plate.  I’m working on a massive voiceover job: recording and editing an e-learning course of 341 highly technical PowerPoint slides due “yesterday.” I also have a smaller VO job due Monday. In addition, I’ve promised to file a friend’s domain name dispute complaint, owe content to the co-author of a non-fiction project, had a bar association committee meeting, was required to do a bit of promotion for one improv show, have a rehearsal with that team, had a handful of auditions and a performance with my other improv team.

In order get all of these projects done, something had to go. But what? Should I have skipped out on social events like a baby shower (for which I’m expected to bring a salad—meaning I also need to go to the grocery store and chop.  Can I take a shortcut of buying bottled dressing, or make one from scratch as planned?) and a friend’s birthday celebration? Not crew for a cable TV shoot for another bar association committee, which fortunately I didn’t commit to but know they need help?

Or admit that this week I simply can’t do it all? Just writing that makes me cringe. There must be a compromise. I’ve been getting up earlier than usual so I can be at my computer by 6AM. I rescheduled a meeting in Milwaukee and bypassed the cable shoot, gaining 12 hours.

What are you willing to do to get everything done?

I’m one of the many people, Gainfully Unemployed or not, who often spend much of our days thinking and worrying about what we will be doing later or have done in the past. We don’t focus enough on or appreciate enough what we’re actually doing right now. At this very moment.

Wonder why you can’t remember if you left the iron on or if you locked the door? Because you were thinking about where you were going and operating on autopilot instead of paying attention to each task you completed. Even if we’re talking on the phone with a friend, my guess is that many of us aren’t giving complete focus to what the friend is saying in particular, or the conversation in general. We’re thinking, “Can’t forget to pick up Susie at school in an hour,” or we go so far as to surf the Web or check e-mail.

A friend of mine recommended the book, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. One of his main suggestions is that each of us listen without judging to the ruminating voice in our heads. Once we can “be aware not only of the thought but yourself as a witness to the thought,” Tolle says “a new dimension of consciousness has come in” and “the thought loses its power over you and quickly subsides because you are no longer energizing the mind through identification with it.”

Supposedly we will be less stressed and more fulfilled if we are truly present. Many who promote living in the moment recommend actively noticing every detail of what is happening to you right now. What exactly are you doing, what sensations are you experiencing, what sounds do you hear?

Things I’m going to try to see if I can feel more present:
1) When I’m on the phone, just be on the phone so I can participate fully in the conversation. Not clean my condo or fold laundry, which is what I usually do.

2) Observe rather than dwell on ruminations, then let them go.

3) Focus on the specifics of what is happening right now.

Why do some people get things done, but others don’t? I think it comes down to the D word: discipline.

Some people are content to get by at their day jobs and spend their spare time with families, friends and hobbies. Maybe to them, the best weekend is one spent watching sports and tossing back a few brewskies. Others are willing to work weekends because they’re driven to climb the corporate ladder or reach for their dreams, whether it’s going back to get that master’s degree or writing and trying to sell a novel(s). Even if their pursuit means long hours and foregoing social events. Even if it means no guarantees, takes years and the odds are stacked against them.

Still others say over and over that they want to do X (even if it’s just cleaning out the garage), but add “some day” and do nothing because some day never comes. It’s always today. Or they take baby steps, but get easily frustrated when they don’t see immediate results (or, as with cleaning the garage, things get messier before they get better) and give up. They can’t see the big picture.

Not surprisingly, some definitions of discipline include self-control:  not giving in to every impulse for immediate gratification.

Most days I am disciplined…I complete the daily goals I set, which often include a certain number of proactive efforts or pages to write.  Other days, it’s hard not to succumb to the lure of a beautiful day, a leisurely lunch with a friend or catching up with TiVo.  Because, of course, I have really good reasons:  We don’t have that many great weather days in Chicago. I haven’t seen Y friend in a long time and she’s busy.  If I don’t watch the finale of Z reality TV show now, I won’t be able to go online without finding out who won.  That’s when self-discipline and self-control need to kick in.  When I have to convince myself that getting at least some work done is more important in the long run than slacking off today.

successconsciousness.com: “Contrary to common belief, self-discipline is not a severe and limited behavior or a restrictive lifestyle. It is a very useful inner power, which enables one to persevere and not give up, in spite of failure and setbacks. It grants its possessor self control, and the ability to resist temptations and distractions that tend to stand in the way of attaining aims and goals. In fact, it is one of the most important pillars of real and stable success.”

Some motivational quotes from the same site, here.

Developing self-discipline: “Learning life mastery and personal discipline will only come about when you set precise goals that you wish to achieve. Self-discipline goals are somewhat different than success-oriented goals, in that self-discipline goals are defined by personal improvement. Once you identify areas of your life that you wish to gain total control over, you have now defined specific areas of improvement.”

Discipline.  One day at a time.