Ruth Kaufman - Award-Winning Author and Romance Writer

Ruth Kaufman is the author of My Life as a Star, My Life as an Extra, My Once & Future Love, The Bride Tournament, Follow Your Heart, At His Command and other books.

Concentration and focus

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This morning the rain hitting the windows is so loud it’s hard to focus.  There’s a lot of flooding, so I’m thinking about the route I’ll take later and how much longer it’ll take to get where I need to go.  I keep wanting to check the news to see if the waters are receding, despite reports of more storms. 

What distracts you during business hours?  Many feelancers allow interesting articles/videos on the Internet, the “need” to check Facebook or other social media, and/or personal calls or emails to keep them from getting work done.  They think they’ll just look at this one thing, or keep that call short, send a quick reply, but allow themselves to get sucked in. 
 
Sure, the distraction(s) may be enjoyable, but it’s not productive.  And thus not helping reach client deadlines, grow your business or income producing.  Some may have the discipline to tell themselves, “I wasted time today.  So I’ll make it up tonight.”  Others aren’t willing to push themselves toward success and let day after day pass without making a significant dent in the pile on their plates.
 

Sometimes my to do list is off putting and/or daunting.  I may need to do things I just don’t want to do.  Distractions seem even more enticing then.  How do you make yourself concentrate? 

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–realizing that the distractions will still be there.  Can’t FB be as much fun after your work is done? 

–reveling in the sense of accomplishment when you can check off each less than pleasant task.  Isn’t that better than feeling bad about lack of productivity?
–knowing you’ve earned downtime.  While everyone needs some relaxation,  socializing and time away from computers, I believe feelancers should consider their income stream and bank balances before putting play before work instead of reassuring themselves they’ll work harder tomorrow. 

Yes, as Scarlett says, “Tomorrow is another day.”  But if you let distractions and lack of focus prevail today, what’s to stop them from defeating you tomorrow?

 

Work vs. play vs. email

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Feelancers need to weigh the pros and cons of being out of town…it seems  that opportunities and client requests abound the minute you click non-refundable ticket or when your phone is off.

 I considered flying in and out the same day for a work-related event in New York.  But how could I not see a show? Or two? So I decided to go for a few days, including a day and a half of the work week.

(Pippin is extraordinary, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.  And I’ve seen quite a few.  IMO, better than the original in many ways.  (Though I doubt anyone could surpass Ben Vereen.)  One number got a standing ovation…in the middle of the show.  And I predict a Tony for Best Choreography–literally jaw droppingly good. Maybe costumes, too. As a Nathan Lane fan, The Nance made the top of the list over Tom Hanks, Bette Midler and other current Broadway stars.)

Because of a full itinerary and exhaustion after so much walking, we didn’t stay as connected to email and FB as usual.  I have my phone set up with different notifications for different email addresses, so I know which tones require faster responses.  Hmm. A little like Pavlov’s dogs. Even for one day, it felt both freeing and weird to not hear those tones and grab the phone whenever a work-related email came in.

But is it a good idea to spend even one day away from your phone?  For example, a client who was supposed to send a script the week before sent it late afternoon that one, jam-packed weekday I didn’t check email every hour or so.  Of course. They sent a follow-up email when I happened to be on the plane home (which had been delayed, so I didn’t see it right away).  They also called in the cab from the airport, but I returned that within 16 minutes.  I responded in less than 24 hours from the first email, but because of the now-shorter turnaround time owing to the late script, they were a little concerned that I hadn’t gotten back to them ASAP.  And a friend in transit got three calls and two emails about scheduling an on camera audition.       

The next time I travel, I’ll either check in more frequently or see if my email has an out of office auto-responder.

Cell phones vs. people

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Many of us are tied to our phones these days.  Sometimes, there’s a valid reason.  And many jobs are no longer 9 to 5.  For example, I got an important email from an agent at 11pm last night.

But go to any restaurant or bar and you’re likely to see people hunched over their cells instead of communicating with their companions.  Movie pre-announcements often include no texting reminders because people don’t realize that it’s rude to use their phones in the middle of a movie.

Many men set their phones on the table…a constant reminder that even as you’re chatting, messages are piling up.  What are you missing?  What factoid must you look up immediately?  Will the Earth continue its rotation if you don’t check right now, or every five minutes?

Recently I was out with two different friends, who, in the midst of a conversation, and without even saying anything like, “I’m expecting something important,” started checking email.  I commented to both, and they put their phones away. 

When did the people in the phone become more important than the people in front of you?  Is that acceptable?  How does the urge to see who posted what or who contacted you or responded take precedence over a friend, a family member, a date? 

George Takei posted on Facebook that people should put their phones in a pile, and the first to reach for his or hers should pay the bill. 

What’s your view of second screening (paying attention to your phone, iPad or computer while watching TV), spurred by TV shows putting hash tags so you can follow live tweets? Do people get more out of programs if their attention is diverted to another form of communication, or is the experience enhanced?

Somehow we lasted for decades spending hours and whole days away from our phones.  People called back if they couldn’t reach you.  Then they left voicemail messages.  Now, it’s as if we’re expected to take every call and respond instantly to any text, no matter where we are or who the communication is from.  There’s little triage…a miscellaneous text from a random friend is treated with the same urgency as a RESPOND ASAP communcation from a talent agent.

I propose a social media vs. socializing bill of rights.  You have the right to:

1) a cell phone free meal with your companion(s).
2) be free of texts and emails for at least an hour at a time.
3) be free of FB and Twitter for a lot longer than an hour at a time.

It’s a privilege to have friends, family and opportunities to socialize and spend time with them.  Don’t abuse it by making your cell phone more important in the moment than they are.  If you absolutely, positively can’t last an hour without checking in,  excuse yourself from the table.  And return in a timely fashion….

New line of work?

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A few days ago, I had Thai food with a friend.  My fortune: You are soon going to change your present line of work.

Interesting timing, because recently I’ve been seriously considering just that.  Not a complete change, like giving up performing to return to corporate America, but a definite change of focus involving dropping one longtime pursuit and adding something new and different.  Should I?  Yes.  No.  Yes?

Change is scary.  Instead of putting ourselves out there, sometimes we stay in jobs, relationships or other situations we don’t love.  Because, as they say, “Better the devil you know.”  Taking risks can be uncomfortable and exciting at the same time.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained…but also perhaps, nothing failed.  

Change can be a lot of work.  You’ve become used to pursuing or doing one thing, and now need to create material you’re not sure how to create or even what it should consist of. Then you need to research markets and industry professionals, who’s already successful in that field, create proposals and materials, submit them…and hope your new project is well-received.  And that it’ll eventually produce some income.

Change is even more difficult on your own. I’m fortunate to have friends who’ll share information and a supportive advisor to run ideas and content by.  I need to believe I’m moving in the right direction, but validation and critiques are very helpful.    

Change can open new doors.

Time will tell. 

Feeling special

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What makes you feel special?  Do you just know that you are?  Does it take an accomplishment like getting a promotion, sealing a big deal, winning an award?  Compliments or extra attention from someone you respect?  An unexpected gift, such as flowers?  Treating yourself to a mani/pedi or massage? 

Not comparing yourself to others, living with gratitude, taking physical, financial and emotional responsibility for your feelings rather than relying on others to shore you up are examples of advice offered in articles and self-help books.  Even so, at times it’s rewarding to let others know via words and deeds that they’re special to you.  It’s nice to receive external validation.

But as an actor, author and resident of a big city, sometimes it’s easy to feel like a number, not a person. For example, when you’re crammed amidst fellow phone-tapping, huge backpack wielding passengers on public transportation.  When you actually are a number: at a print looksee where they’re calling in different types.  You stop by a photographer’s studio any time during a designated period, hold a dry erase board with your number (and name) and smile for a few pictures that take less than a minute. 

The other day I was #210, and there were several hours to go.  Or course I’m glad for the opportunity.  Better odds than the lottery.  If you’re not in it, you can’t win it. There’s a slim chance if you don’t get this project, you may be called in for another.  Etc.

When industry professionals say they’ll get back to you within a certain time but don’t, even after you follow up as requested. An editor requested one of my manuscripts last April. And said in early January 2013 that I’d hear “very soon.”

Or I go to an audition where very specific wardrobe is required.  I need to remember the unique abilities I bring to the table when I see a room full of similarly aged women dressed just like me.  For some projects, selections may be based on physical characteristics alone.  “I need a tall blond…to go with the husband I already picked.” “I need someone older, younger, fatter, thinner, less attractive, more attractive…” 

On to the next opportunity.  Because pursuing your dreams, not giving up, is special.

 

People who need people…

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…are they the luckiest in the world, as the song says?  Is self-sufficiency overrated? 

Remember when you were a kid…and your mom or babysitter tried to help you tie your shoelaces, but you said, “I can do it myself!”  The urge to be independent, to not rely on anyone else, can be strong.  We don’t want to feel needy, weak or incapable.

But many say asking for help (as opposed to a handout or having someone complete whatever task for you) makes you stronger.  If truthful assistance encourages you to achieve more, and makes the work more enjoyable, why go it alone all the time?

A friend who’s a NYT and USA Today bestselling novelist is creating a workshop about her success being a team effort.  She acknowledges that she wouldn’t be where she is today if not for her editor, agent, virtual assistant, and her critique partners–me and a fellow writer.  She sends her works in progress to us before they go to her industry professionals.  We give  honest feedback and suggest changes.
 
In award acceptance speeches, recipients often thank their agents or managers, fellow cast members and crew, spouses and family.  They may thank the person/people who connected them to the opportunity that led to the award. 

For example, when I won my Golden Heart® award in 2011 and gave a short speech in front of around 1,500 authors and industry professionals, I thanked the author who’d suggested I write that kind of manuscript, friends in my writing organization, and those who’d encouraged me in person or via phone/emails.  Support can be a key element of success.

When I had a “real job,” colleagues and I often tossed ideas around in the office or asked each other’s opinions about this or that element of a presentation or how to handle a situation.  We all learned and benefitted from the process.

The feelancer often works alone, which at times can be, well, lonely.  It can be a challenge to motivate yourself when your deadline is far off or is self-determined.  I sometimes work with a neighbor, other writers or colleagues so we all get more done.  Going to a coffee shop myself is a nice change of environment, but teaming with a colleague helps us both stay focused, and it’s helpful to have someone to run things by.
 
It’s nice and helpful to have others’ support, but we need self-discipline the rest of the time.

A watched pot…

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A frustrating yet exciting aspect of being a feelancer is that you never know when the phone is going to ring or when an email will pop up inquiring about or offering work. It’s frustrating when a day or days go by with radio silence. It’s exciting when you get an opportunity–or opportunities–to audition or submit information. But after you hit send, you have to let each one go until actual work is offered.  Wasting energy and time wondering if that opportunity will come to fruition or counting chickens hinders productivity.

No matter how many irons we put in the fire, we can’t predict when or if returning or new clients or talent agent(s) will contact us, or if we’ll be fortunate enough to get referrals from colleagues or clients, or if someone will find us via our websites or previous work.  We can’t know when an ongoing project will end, if projects that are already running will earn additional usage fees/residuals, or if a spot I already did will be recut into another.  I woke up today to find my first international inquiry via my website about possible ongoing work.  🙂

At least when I was gainfully employed,  there’d be work on my plate every day, either standing appointments, previously scheduled training sessions or seminars, contract packages to put together, data to gather, things to discuss with local or home office colleagues, attending company meetings or learning about new products and features.  Sometimes, being in corporate sales, marketing and training, I did have to seek work out.  But my clients were provided to me, and since they already had my product and their firms encouraged them to learn how to use it efficiently, most people were predisposed to meet with me.  So filling my day was fairly easy.

Now, if there are no incoming items to follow up on, no auditions, sessions or shoots to go to, it’s incumbent on me to locate and research prospects.  I’m my own salesperson, marketer, and product.  During a slow week, keeping up momentum can be a challenge.  As can trusting that more auditions and work are on the way.
 

Non-disclosure agreements

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More and more often, I’m required to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) before auditioning for or working on a project.  Basically, an NDA says actors aren’t allowed to tell anyone (even family, friends or their agents, depending on the restrictions in the document signed) or post anywhere anything about the project. The language can be very broad, giving many rights to the issuer and few to the signer.  And some NDAs threaten legal action and may claim irreparable damage should it be discovered that any information was revealed.

The underlying principle makes sense in today’s tell-all/TMI world where you never know what may go viral.  Advertisers and casting agencies don’t want actors posting on social media things like, “I just had a great audition for X, and here’s the concept and copy word for word!”  Nor do they want an actor’s FB friend posting, “My friend (insert name) just got a national commercial for (insert product) and here’s exactly what she’ll be doing.” Competitors could see the posts, and might alter their strategies….perhaps even try to beat their competitor to the punch.  All the time, effort and money that went into coming up with the concept for and writing that commercial or entire campaign could be undermined.

On the other hand:
1) If you don’t get the copy until you arrive at the audition, preparing can be a challenge. 
2) I had a VO audition and callback. I surmised the product class, but I never knew any specifics.  Tone and approach should vary depending on the product.  If, for example, I knew it was high-end diamonds, I’d probably want to sound different than if the product was costume jewelry geared toward young adults. 
3) It’s definitely less fun.  When people ask what I’ve been working on, I’d like to say more than, “I had a great time shooting an on-camera project Monday,” or “I had an interesting audition.”
4) You can’t put the credit on your resume or get the footage/audio files for your demo reels.  You can ask for permission and a copy of the project at a later date, perhaps after it’s been released, but may not get it. Some agreements are boilerplate; you can ask, but may not be able, to have some of the verbiage changed. 

On a related note, some boilerplate documents say things such as, this project can be used in all media in perpetuity.  I have gotten that changed to fit what I was told about certain projects.  

And sometimes, colleagues, friends and family members request an NDA….can you/do you want to keep their secret(s)? 

Low-balling and not telling the whole truth

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Lately I’ve come across several instances of what could be called desperate or just sleazy behavior.  Such as budding actors grasping at what they think will be a good credit  for their resume and/or lead to additional work will do a job, say, a radio commercial, for free or very low rates.  Or clients needing to save more and more money to enhance their bottom lines, so jobs that perhaps should’ve been union go non-union, and those that should’ve been non-union via talent agents or respected production companies trickle down to anyone the client can find online who’s willing to low-ball already low rates.

I’m not the only one who thinks low-balling hurts everyone involved:
 
Actors, other feelancers or businesspeople willing to work for well below what should be market rates may get the job in the moment, but they’ve set a low bar for their talents and could drag rates down for their entire industry.  Clients may save dollars in the short term, but may end up with less experienced or less talented talent, which could make completion more difficult and time consuming and cost in terms of quality of the final product and perhaps less additional work from their client. 

I’ve also come across a more subtle form: clients who must get their project completed, perhaps to meet a short deadline, so they withhold information to get you to agree to do something.  After you’ve committed, you learn that the actual assignment is a bit different or more unpleasant and/or for more time but the same amount of money.  Or the working conditions are more egregious than expected (you were told the shoot was inside, but it’s outside in 30 degree weather and you can’t wear a coat; they promise food but what you get is subpar or there isn’t enough for everyone, they promise a copy to justify their low rate but never send it, even after  you follow up).  You could try to negotiate for more money, but it’s unlikely that you’ll get it.  You could drop out, but then you won’t get paid or get the credit (or perhaps that copy of the project) at all, and you’d leave everyone else involved in the lurch.  The needs of the many…? 
 
Of course things can and do change very rapidly in production and many industries.  But I think the client should inform the talent as soon as possible, so we have the opportunity to choose whether to continue or not instead of being put on the spot.  Or get sucked in by something like, “Just a few more minutes, ok?” that turns into a few more hours.    

Other types of desperation include outright lying, stalling and/or placating, perhaps by those seeking to cover their bases or even take advantage of those who blithely trust them…until they realize what’s been going on behind their backs.  Even public figures do this; Jesse Jackson Jr. and the comptroller who stole millions from her small town are two Illinois come to mind. 

Unfortunately, assorted events in the past few years have made me less trusting.  As they say, actions speak louder than words.  But it may take some time to find out what the actions are actually saying.

   

Technology: friend and foe

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From time to time, VO and on-camera talents have to update their marketing materials, such as headshots, resumes, demo reels, and VO demos.  Our look might have changed, we hope to have more credits, and always want to put our best foot forward.  These days, printed pictures and resumes are requested less and less.  So everything needs to be uploaded online.

I miss the “old days,” only a few years ago, when auditioners would glance at your headshot, flip it over, and comment about something they saw on your resume stapled to the back.  Maybe you worked with some of the same people.  Maybe a special skill would catch their eye, and they’d ask you to do that in addition to your audition.  To me, this personalized the experience.  And you knew that the auditioners knew a little something about you.  Sometimes they’ll ask a question or two, or perhaps ask you to share a fact about yourself not related to acting.  But other times, there’s no chance or time to make even a small connection.

These days, more decisions are made via online profiles at major casting sites such as Casting Networks and actors access.  There’s no way to know if the casting director or your agent saw more than the thumbnail of your headshot and your stats, or if they viewed your reel or any video samples.  But processing auditions is greatly simplified, and talent buyers can search many different ways to find the talent they want to see for their current project.

Last year, I got new headshots and redid my business cards.  This year, I’m updating both my VO demo and my on-camera reel.  The VO required new content, music and effects, which I’m working on with the help of a couple of demo professionals.  For on-camera, I just wanted to remove a couple of clips, add a couple of new ones and perhaps change the order.  I’m a PC, so I don’t have iMovie.  I didn’t want to pay for expensive software, so I tried Windows Live Movie Maker.  Computer-y stuff isn’t my strong suit.  I forged ahead and felt a sense of achievement when I eventually figured out how to cut, add and tighten clips and rearrange them.  Even after several hours, I couldn’t figure out how to get the right quality or file size, despite searching help forums and trying every option I could think of.  Still working on that….